While the Cat's Away

A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours and, afterwards, while they're just lying there, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:

"Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful.... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Thanks. Okay. Bye bye."

She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"

"Oh" she replies, "That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."






THE NEWS

Holy water seized in name of security: "The passengers on the Vatican's first flight to Lourdes may have been pilgrims in search of spiritual healing but they still had to obey anti-terrorism rules. Some had their holy water confiscated. The new service, a Boeing 737 in yellow-and-white papal livery, took off from Fiumicino Airport, Rome, on Monday, serving swordfish canapes to 148 pilgrims reclining on headrests stamped with the message: "I search for your face, oh Lord." While the outward journey was smooth, turbulence struck on the return when anti-terrorism rules were strictly applied by the French police. No bottles containing more than 100 millilitres of liquid were allowed on board unless checked in, meaning passengers were forced to give up the holy water they had just collected. Many hoped to ferry the water back to sick relatives. Instead, dozens of plastic containers in the shape of the Madonna were left at security"


Briefcase thief misses out on $16,697: "A thief stole a briefcase and threw it away without noticing it contained 10,000 euros ($16,697) in cash, German authorities said today. "I think they'll be annoyed when they find out," said a spokesman for police in the western city of Duesseldorf. The case's owner, a 57-year-old Iranian businessman, had reported it missing as he prepared to board a flight in Duesseldorf airport. A policewoman later found it - ransacked, but still containing the two cash-filled envelopes."


Cooked cat in Australia: "A Territory author has found a novel solution to a feral cat problem - serve them up for dinner. Alice Springs children's author Kaye Kessing has entered her sauteed cat and quandong in this year's Wildfoods Recipe Challenge of the Alice Desert Festival. She chose the dish ahead of her other feline favourite, the "caterole". The secret, says the feral chef, is to make sure the cat is well done so that any bacteria is killed. "It's a white meat but I would say it's not as gamey as rabbit," Ms Kessing said. "It has to be cooked to tender perfection." Her recipe is simple. It combines the cat meat and quandong with some native lemongrass and some Murray River salt. The mixture is then thrown in a frypan before simmering away in a crockpot. "I would never boil a cat -- I would roast it or chop it up and saute it," she said. Ms Kessing said she first ate cat about 15 years ago, inspired by local Aborigines. "The Aboriginal mob eat kangaroo and all the stuff we now eat so I assumed it would be OK," she said. Ms Kessing said Territorians should be eating more wild meat to help reduce the feral animals' impact on the environment."




Mower man: "A man with a big backyard has cut down on mowing time by attaching four regular mowers to his ride-on for a 3m cut. Dennis Bonkoski of Kimball Township, Michigan, started with one extra mower and found that four extra mowers resulted in the widest and most even cut. He achieves a 3m-wide cut with the combined mowers. Plastic strainer bowls prevent unwanted grass clippings from entering the engines causing them to overheat. "With this set-up I can cut my lawn in less than an hour," he said"



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 6:12 PM

 


Rapid transit

It was rush hour, and when the bus finally arrived, it was packed. I tried to force my way on, but no one would budge, although there was ample room in the back. Then the bus driver took over. "Excuse me, Ladies and Gentlemen," he shouted. "Will all the beautiful, smart people please move to the back of the bus, and all the ugly stupid people stay up front?"




Seek and ye shall find

A blind man, deaf man and a lame man went on a pilgrimage to a healing spring. The blind man washed his eyes with water from the spring and exclaimed "I can see! I can see!" The deaf man washed his ears with the spring water and exclaimed
"I can hear! I can hear!"

The lame man drove his wheelchair into the water and out the other side yelling "I got new tires! I got new tires!"






THE NEWS

Prison-yard pot plagues Japanese lockup: "A Japanese prison is scrambling to eradicate marijuana plants that keep sprouting up on its exercise ground, officials said Tuesday.The marijuana plants started sprouting at Abashiri Prison on Japan's northernmost island of Hokkaido about a year ago, said prison official Takeshi Okamura. He said officials plucked out as many as 300 marijuana plants and treated the ground last year, but several more sprouted again this year.Prisoners reported them to the guards."


Burning Man is arson victim: "A San Francisco man was arrested on felony arson charges today after the 40-foot-tall `Man' statue whose torching is the annual highlight of the Burning Man festival in Nevada went up in flames four days early, authorities said. Paul Addis, 35, of San Francisco, was booked into the Pershing County Jail in Nevada on the arson charge and misdemeanor possession of fireworks, Sheriff Ron Skinner said. Festival organizers, meanwhile, pondered the smoldering remains of the Man and promised to rebuild the big guy in time for Saturday's regularly scheduled burn in the Black Rock Desert north of Reno."


NY Robber refuses tenner, waits for change: "A knife-wielding robber only needed $4 - so he refused to take a $10 bill from his victim and waited while he man got change at a pizza shop. He then took the $US4 and ran off, only to be captured a few blocks away in Greenburgh, north of New York, police said yesterday. Police Captain Joseph DeCarlo said it "really is an odd case but it is a robbery ... this is unique, where the robber doesn't want all your money".


Rich bitch prefers dog to grandchildren: "Hotelier Leona Helmsley's dog will continue to live an opulent life, then be buried alongside her in a mausoleum. The billionaire, who died last week, left her white maltese, named Trouble, a $14.7 million trust fund in her will. She also left millions for her brother, Alvin Rosenthal, who was named to care for Trouble, and two of four grandchildren from her late son Jay Panzirer - as long as they visit their father's grave once a year. But she left nothing to two of Panzirer's other children, for "reasons known to them".




(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 12:08 PM

 


A fighting black man

A very rich man living in the best part of New Orleans decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours. He also invited Dwayne, the only black in his neighbourhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating prawns and oysters at the BBQ and flirting. At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 15ft man-eating alligator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who
has the balls to jump in."

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Dwayne in the pool! Dwayne was fighting the alligator and kicking its as*s! Dwayne was jabbing the alligator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of sh!t, like head butts and chokeholds, biting the alligator on the tail and flipping the alligator through the air like some kind of Judo instructor. The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Dwayne and the alligator were screaming and raising hell.

Finally Dwayne strangled the alligator and let it float to the top like a supermarket goldfish. Dwayne then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

Finally the host says, "Well, Dwayne, I reckon I owe you a million dollars."

Nah, you all right, I don't want it," said Dwayne. The rich man said, "Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet.", "How about half a million bucks then?" "No thanks. I don't want it," answered Dwayne. The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?"

Again Dwayne said no. Confused, the rich man asked, "Well Dwayne, then what do you want?"

And Dwayne said, I just want the name of the c*#t who pushed me in the Pool."







THE NEWS

Motorist drives away from crash with biker lodged in rear window: A suspected drunken driver in California left a crash and drove home, not realising a motorcyclist was lodged in the rear window of his car, investigators said. Nicholas Justin Campbell, 20, was riding his motorcycle Saturday night when Tony Martinez, 54, pulled his car out of a car park in front of him, California Highway patrol spokesman Ron Thatcher told The (Riverside) Press-Enterprise. The motorcycle crashed into the car and Campbell was thrown through the rear window, Thatcher said. Martinez then drove away and realised when he got home that Campbell was in his car, he said. Martinez drove to a Riverside County fire station where Campbell was declared dead, according to the coroner's office. Martinez was arrested and booked for investigation of gross vehicular manslaughter, hit-and-run and driving under the influence"


To collect your photo ID card, please show us your photo ID card: "Security at the Asia-Pacific Economic Co-operation forum seems designed to foil terrorists by sheer bafflement, judging by the experience of two Herald reporters yesterday. Last month they had to fill in a nine-page questionnaire, including every address they had occupied in the past 10 years (with the dates when they had moved in and out). They were told that to obtain a photo identity they had to appear in person with photo identification. At the Sydney Convention Centre they were confronted by a wall of police and security guards. "You can't enter without your APEC photo ID passes," a guard said, barring the way. "But that's what we have come to collect," the reporters pleaded, waving emails advising that their passes had been approved. The security officers went into a huddle before ruling the reporters could enter this time."


Are you dead yet, man asks friend: "A man who stabbed his friend and dropped a rock on his head asked him if he was dead yet and got the response 'not even close brother', a court was told. New Zealand-born Taukiri Christopher Keen, 20, pleaded guilty in Queensland Supreme Court today to the attempted murder of James Gilders at the Old Boggo Road jail in Brisbane in October 2005. He was sentenced to nine years in jail. The court was told Keen and Mr Gilders had been friends for more than two years when the friendship soured after Keen suspected Mr Gilders of sleeping with his girlfriend. Prosecutor Michael Lehane told the court the pair went to the abandoned prison for a visit and jumped over the walls to get in. As Mr Gilders bent down, Keen stabbed him in the neck, knocked him to the ground, dropped a large rock on his head twice and stabbed him again. When he had finished, Keen asked Mr Gilders if he was dead yet, to which Mr Gilders responded: "Not even close, brother". He got to his feet and the pair shook hands before Keen left the badly injured Mr Gilders to make his own way out of the old prison. Mr Gilders called an ambulance and was to hospital where he was treated for a broken jaw and stab wounds to his neck, including one which came close to his jugular vein. He did not make a complaint and the incident did not come to police attention until Keen confessed while police where interviewing him about other incidents in January 2006."


Freak fall traps boy's testicles: "Malaysian doctors performed a 30-minute operation to free a nine-year-old boy's testicles stuck in a metal pipe after he slipped while bathing, a newspaper said today. In response to a call from his brother in an adjacent room, the boy climbed up a partition in the bathroom, but slipped and fell on an uncovered metal pipe, trapping his testicles in the narrow tube, the New Straits Times said. Medical staff answering the emergency call at the boy's home on the northern island of Penang were unable to remove the L-shaped pipe and had to call in firemen. They used a hydraulic cutter to open both ends of the pipe before the child could be taken to hospital, shrieking in agony. He was discharged after doctors performed a half-hour operation."




(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 12:31 PM

 


God Sends In The Marines

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.

Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform.

The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America 's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an ass. So, He sent me."






THE NEWS

Oral Sex Implicated in Some Throat and Neck Cancers: "Human papillomavirus (HPV), which is believed to be responsible for most cervical cancers, may also be at the root of many cancers of the mouth and throat, new research suggests. Although the rate of most head and neck cancers has been declining over the past 30 years because more people have stopped smoking, the rate of certain cancers in the throat and mouth hasn't dropped, according to research published in the Aug. 27 online issue ofCancer.
"Smoking prevalence has dropped dramatically, and, likewise, most head and neck cancers have declined in incidence. Cancers at the base of the tongue and tonsil are increasing or have remained stagnant. We're not seeing the reduction in incidence that we would have expected," said study author Dr. Erich Sturgis, an associate professor of head and neck surgery and epidemiology at the University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center, in Houston. The study authors suspect the reason may be orally transmitted HPV infections."


Holy airine: "While some passengers only turn to prayer when jolted by turbulence, the Vatican has made it standard by launching the world's first airline for Catholic pilgrims. Complete with Vatican logos on headrests and air hostesses' uniforms, the inaugural flight travelled from Rome's Fiumicino airport for the shrine of Lourdes in France. The charter flight's slogan spoke volumes about what its clients are doing above the clouds: "I'm Searching for Your Face, Lord". "It is a spiritual journey," explained Francesco Gherra, one of the pilgrims who boarded today's inaugural flight hosted by Cardinal Camillo Ruini, the former head of Italy's bishops. The Vatican aims to serve 150,000 pilgrims a year on its chartered Boeing 737, run by Italy's Mistral Air. Destinations range from the shrine of Fatima in Portugal to Mount Sinai in Egypt, where Moses is said to have received the Ten Commandments from God. In-flight entertainment on the way to the world's holy sites will, somewhat predictably, be religious in nature, the Vatican said."




Rice paddy art in Japan: "Travel some 600 km north of Tokyo, then take a drive off the beaten track. There, in a village in verdant Aomori Prefecture, who would ever expect to find exquisite Edo Period artworks sprouting amid a swaying green sea of enormous rice paddies? It's neither a dream, a supernatural mystery, nor fiction. Instead, by precisely planting four varieties of rice with differently colored leaves in fields their ancestors have farmed for centuries, the people of Inakadate Village have this year grown remarkable reproductions of famous woodblock prints by Katsushika Hokusai (1760-1849). And this is no cheap gimmick - the images from the artist's "Fugaku Sanjurokkei (Thirty-six Views of Mount Fuji)" on the 15,000-sq.-meter paddies are nothing if not spectacular in both their scale and detail - even as every day brings them nearer to annihilation in the September harvest."




Cappucino surf: "Australian beachgoers hoping to surf in towering waves at the weekend were instead faced with a sea of foam after cyclonic conditions turned the sea into a creamy froth. The bubbles stretched along the New South Wales beach and 50 metres out to sea, whipped in places into meringue-like peaks more than 2« metres tall. Tom Wood, 12, who braved the suds, said: "It was so cool, like running on air. You couldn't feel it." Sea foam is formed when stormy weather creates huge wave crests that are blown into froth. The beach experienced similar conditions 30 years ago."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 5:52 PM

 


Heaven and Hell

John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends. One night, they both died in a terrible car accident. When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere. Very distraught, he ran to St. Peter and said, "St. Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can't find him!"

St. Peter said, "My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn't make it to Heaven."

This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time. St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hell with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other.

John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, "Are you sure I'm in the right place?" "My son," St. Peter said, "looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of beer? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn't!"






THE NEWS

California store clerk steals customer's $555,000 lottery ticket: "A man who went to a 7-Eleven in Roseville to check on his lottery tickets had picked the right numbers, but state officials said it was the clerk who almost hit the jackpot. The female clerk told the customer he won $4 on his Mega Millions picks for Aug. 14, and then pocketed his winning ticket worth $555,000, California Lottery officials said. However, the clerk's alleged scheme fell apart after the unnamed victim became suspicious and called lottery officials. Rajinder Kaur, 40, was arrested Tuesday on suspicion of grand theft, and the ticket was recovered, officials said. Donald Currier, the lottery's chief legal counsel, said it was the second time in two years that a retail clerk had been arrested for allegedly stealing a winning ticket."


Porn thief red-faced after bust: "A man caught stealing a porn magazine was caught in a public toilet just minutes later. The 19-year-old man emerged red-faced from the disabled toilets in Darwin's Karama Shopping Centre. The security guard and Karama Newsagency owner Peter Cullip had been waiting for the man for more than 10 minutes. "He was pretty embarrassed," Mr Cullip, 43, said. "We can only guess what he was doing in there."




A miracle in Arizona: "As any new mother will testify, keeping even one baby clean, fed and happy is a constant battle. So spare a thought for Jenny Masche, who's had six at once. Her daily regime involves 38 bottles of milk, 18 changes of clothes, two loads of laundry and 50 nappies. Jenny, 32, gave birth to three boys and three girls two months ago. And despite a traumatic delivery during which she suffered heart failure, mother and babies are all thriving.... When she had got over the shock of a scan which showed she was carrying six babies, Jenny says she was offered the opportunity of a selective reduction. "Even though we were in a complete state of shock, we just couldn't do it. How do you choose which three of the little heartbeats to remove? "So we talked about the risks involved - there was a huge risk that a couple of babies might die - but we couldn't do anything but pray that everything would work out OK." Jenny left her job as a doctor's assistant and was committed to bed rest after week 12. Seven weeks later she was admitted to hospital in Phoenix, where she was kept under supervision. She was given a scheduled caesarean at just over 30 weeks, on June 11, with four doctors delivering the babies in five minutes. They each weighed between 2lb and 3lb and were about 16 inches long" [Instead of telling her kids that she murdered three of them she will now be able to tell them that she loved all of them even before they were born]


Flying fruitcake: "A passenger tried to open a plane door during a Frontier Airlines flight on Saturday morning but was subdued by airline staff and passengers, an airline spokesman said. Police and Transportation Security Administration staff met Flight 514 after the plane landed in New York City and took the man into custody, said Frontier spokesman Joe Hodas. Hodas said the man, whose name was not released, would not have been able to open the door even if he had not been subdued. "You need special training to open the door," he said. There were 128 passengers and five crew members on the plane, Hodas said. Passenger Bobby Vigil of Estes Park told KUSA-TV in Denver that the man had been acting strangely. Vigil said he and other passengers helped a flight attendant tie the man to his seat with duct tape. "The whole rest of the flight, all the way in, he was yelling and trying to bite the tape, and they ended up restraining him with an extra lap belt," said Vigil."




(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 2:46 PM

 


The wages of sin...

One day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away. He asked what he did and God told him that he cheated on his income taxes, and that the only way he could get into heaven would be to sleep with a large, stupid, woman for the next five years and enjoy it.

Tony decided that this was a small price to pay for an eternity in heaven. So off he went with this woman, pretending to be happy. As he was walking along, he saw his friend Carlos up ahead. Carlos was with an even bigger, uglier woman than he was with.

When he approached Carlos he asked him what was going on, and Carlos replied "I cheated on my income taxes and scammed the government out of a lot of money...even more than you did."

They both shook their heads in understanding and figured that as long as they have to be with these women, they might as well hang out together to help pass the time.

Now Tony, Carlos, and their two women were walking along, minding their own business when Tony and Carlos could have sworn that they saw their friend Jon up ahead, only this man was with an absolutely drop dead gorgeous supermodel/centerfold.

Stunned, Tony and Carlos approached the man and in fact it was their friend Jon.

They asked him how is he with this unbelievable goddess, while they were stuck with these god-awful women. Jon replied "I have no idea, and I'm definitely not complaining. This has been absolutely the best time of my life (and I'm dead) and I have the best five years man could hope for, to look forward to. There is only one thing that I can't seem to understand. After every time we make love, she rolls over and murmurs to herself, 'Damn income taxes'!"






THE NEWS

Free treat is over for sweet-toothed squirrel: "A SQUIRREL that charmed Finland by turning up daily at a supermarket for chocolate eggs has now been banned from the premises. Thanks to the manager of the SIWA supermarket in Jyvaskyla, a city of 85,000 people in the heart of Finland, the squirrel skipped through the open front door every day and made a beeline to the confectionery section. There it helped itself to one particular European brand of chocolate egg - notable for including a little plastic toy inside - before scampering back outdoors to savour the treat. "The squirrel is prohibited from entering," an employee at the supermarket said today. "It's a decision of the health authorities. The door of the store has remained open all summer, but now it will be shut." Amused customers had dipped into their wallets to pay for the goodies."


British government pimps: "GOVERNMENT job centres have been accused of recruiting for the sex industry by advertising for unemployed women to become 100 pounds-an-hour “escorts”. One agency using the Jobcentre Plus service features girls on its website who offer “no-strings adult fun”. Jobcentre Plus has been recruiting in at least nine areas around Britain, including Llandudno, Cardiff, Heathrow, Cheltenham and Newquay. Women who visited the website of Sweet Dreams, which advertised with Jobcentre Plus in the Llandudno area, would have found pictures of women in their underwear offering overnight bookings, “dress-up fun” and “a night in to get your blood pumping”. Jasmin, one of its girls, could “show anyone a good time and if she likes you that much . . . you just never know”. Escort agencies say that this is not prostitution because sex with clients takes place only “between consenting adults”. However, the agencies are widely considered to be part of the sex industry."


Giving the finger to the boss -- Japanese style: "A Japanese man has been arrested after he sent his severed little finger to the country's prime minister. Yoshihiro Tanjo, 54, a leader of a right-wing group, filmed himself as he cut off the top part of his finger and included the DVD and a protest letter in his package to Shinzo Abe. He was unhappy that Mr Abe stayed away from the Yasukuni shrine in Tokyo on the anniversary of Japan's surrender in the Second World War. "I thought they would ignore me if I just sent the letter, so I put my little finger in as well," Kyodo news agency quoted the man as telling police. Mr Abe has shunned the shrine since becoming prime minister to avoid offending those in China and Korea who see it as a symbol of Japanese military occupation."


Have a sob story, kill a husband and get off free: "Mary Winkler is a free woman—free of her abusive marriage and free of jail. After 67 days in a mental-health facility in Tennessee, Winkler was released earlier this week and has returned to her hometown of McMinnville. But is she free of the posttraumatic stress disorder and depression that her legal team said drove her to gun down her preacher-husband, Matthew, last year? After a jury found Winkler guilty of voluntary manslaughter, she was given a three-year sentence, later reduced to 210 days, but she also got credit for the five months she spent in jail awaiting trial—which left only about 60 days, which a judge ruled she could serve in the mental-health facility. Winkler's critics wonder if she ever had PTSD in the first place and say the diagnosis was just a means of getting off easy."


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:09 PM

 


More one-liners

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it. So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Wouldn't you know it...

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

Bumper sticker of the year:

'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier'

And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.







THE NEWS

Arabs like Israeli porn: "Despite the diplomatic ice reigning between the respective governments, Israeli erotic sites are reaping enormous success among the Internet surfers of the Arab countries. "We notice on our servers that thousands of users live in Muslim states with which we don't even have diplomatic relations," Nir Shahar, who manages one of the most visited Israeli websites with erotic content, told an Israeli journalist. Up to 10% of the daily contacts of the porn portals in Hebrew come from Iran, Saudi Arabia, Egypt and Iraq."


Viagra truly the drug of love: "Impotence drugs such as Viagra may do more than help men physically have sex - they may also boost levels of a hormone linked with feelings of love, US researchers said today. Viagra, known generically as sildenafil, raised levels of the hormone oxytocin in rats, the team at the University of Wisconsin-Madison said in a report published in the Journal of Physiology. This hormone is involved in nursing and childbirth but also in orgasm and feelings of sexual pleasure. And it seems Viagra and related drugs act on the part of the brain that controls release of oxytocin, said Wisconsin physiology professor Meyer Jackson."


Scotland's sex-crazed koala to save zoo colony: "A sex-mad koala recruited from Scotland to teach his counterpart in an Austrian zoo about the birds and the bees is finding himself very much in demand. When romantic music, erotic movies and aphrodisiac food failed to entice their male koala, Bilyarra, to mate with female Mirali, staff at Vienna's Schoenbrunn Zoo sought the help of Edinburgh Zoo's resident stud, Chumbee. The five-year-old male koala and his super-active libido arrived on loan in the Austrian capital in March and zoo managers are confident they will soon be hearing the patter of tiny koala paws after Bilyarra started to get in on the action. "Chumbee hasn't stopped since he got here," said Schoenbrunn Zoo manager Helmut Pechlaner. "It has been almost non-stop sex in the koala enclosure ever since, and now even our own male is joining in." Zoo vet Hanna Vielgrader said Chumbee could not restrain himself. "The only break is to eat or sleep, other than that there's no stopping them," she said. Several other zoos have been in touch in the hope Chumbee might be able to invigorate their koala colonies"


Sex monkeys frighten Kenyan women : "A gang of monkeys are sexually harassing women in Kenya, according to reports yesterday. Women in the village of Nachu trying to protect their crops from a band of about 300 monkey raiders said that the animals were afraid of men but not women and would occasionally attack them. But they also make sexually explicit gestures in a bizarrely intelligent form of communication. "The monkeys grab their breasts and gesture at us while pointing at their private parts. We are afraid that they will sexually harass us," Lucy Njeri said"


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 8:13 PM

 


Imus, where are you?



(Seen on the campus of Cornell University)





THE NEWS

Wife DNA-tests husband's underwear: "A foressic scientist has been fired from her police job after DNA-testing her husband's underpants when she suspected he was cheating. Michigan woman Ann Chamberlain testified in a March 7 divorce hearing that she ran the test last September on the underwear of her husband Charles Gordon, the Associated Press reported. Asked by his attorney what she found, she reportedly answered: "Another female. It wasn't me.'' Michigan State Police, which oversees the forensics laboratory where Ms Chamberlain worked, said today it had fired her for using department supplies, materials and equipment for non-departmental purposes."


Woman sets fire to ex-husband's penis: "A woman set fire to her ex-husband's penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, Moscow police said Wednesday. Asked if the man would make a full recovery, a police spokeswoman said it was "difficult to predict." The attack climaxed three years of acrimonious enforced co-habitation. The couple divorced three years ago but continued to share a small flat, something common in Russia where property costs are very high. "It was monstrously painful," the wounded ex-husband told Tvoi Den newspaper. "I was burning like a torch. I don't know what I did to deserve this."


Owners shell out $5000 for 'depressed' chicken: "When Lily the chicken needed urgent - and costly - medical assistance, her owners did not hesitate. Seven operations and an amputated leg later, Vicky Mills and her husband Sam have shelled out almost $4900 on their beloved bird Lily. They took out a bank loan and have lived frugally for an entire year to pay for the treatment - which included Lily being diagnosed with depression. But 24-year-old Mrs Mills says it was worth it to see the smile back on her beak. The charity worker was horrified when her pet Rhode Island red got her left leg trapped in a barbed wire fence. A vet warned the costs involved in trying to save the damaged drumstick would be more than chicken feed, but he was instructed to do everything he could. When the treatment failed and the experts said Lily's leg would have to be amputated to save her life, Mrs Mills and her husband dug deep again to meet costs. Even then her medical bills were not over, as Lily was diagnosed with depression."


Spirits willing well into old age: "Comedian Rodney Dangerfield once said: "I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table." While everybody worries about the young getting too much, nobody expects the old to get any at all. But behind the prim assumption that people old enough to be grandparents are too old to care about sex, there is plenty of it going on. An American survey shows that sex looms large in the lives of the over-60s, with a high proportion of men and women remaining intimately active well into old age. Such evidence as does exist from Britain suggests that things are not very different on the other side of the Atlantic. The survey of 3000 Americans aged from 57 to 85, published in the ultra-respectable New England Journal of Medicine, found that age played a smaller part in sexual activity than attitude. You are as young, and sexy, as you feel. Despite problems such as erectile dysfunction and lower desire, the spirit among these game American pensioners was still apparently willing, even if the flesh was weak. The majority of those under 74 claimed to be leading active sex lives, reporting engaging in sexual activity with "at least one partner" in the 12 months preceding the study. Almost three-quarters of men and women aged 57 to 64 (73 per cent) and more than half (53 per cent) aged 65 to 74, were leading active sex lives, or claimed to be. Even among those aged 75 to 85, more than a quarter (26 per cent) were still having sex."


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 1:39 PM

 


The year is 1907. One hundred years ago

What a difference a century makes! Here are some of the U.S. Statistics for the Year 1907:

The average life expectancy in the U.S. Was 47 years old.

Only 14 percent of the homes in the U.S. Had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

A three-minute call from Denver to New York City Cost eleven dollars.

There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S., and only 144 miles of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more Heavily populated than California.

With a mere 1.4 million people, California was only the 21st Most populous state in the Union.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!

The average wage in the U.S. Was 22 Cents per hour.

The average U.S. Worker made between $200 and $400 per year .

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,
A dentist made $2,500 per year,
A veterinarian $1,500 per year,
And a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births in the U.S. Took place at HOME.

Ninety percent of all U.S. Doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION! Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which Were condemned in the press AND the government as "substandard."

Sugar cost four cents a pound.

Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from Entering into their country for any reason.

Five leading causes of death in the U.S. Were:

1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet.

The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea Hadn't been invented yet.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

Two out of every 10 U.S. Adults couldn't read or write.

Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over The counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists
Said, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, Regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian Of health."

There were about 230 reported Murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A. !






THE NEWS



State-controlled reincarnation? "In one of history's more absurd acts of totalitarianism, China has banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission. According to a statement issued by the State Administration for Religious Affairs, the law, which goes into effect next month and strictly stipulates the procedures by which one is to reincarnate, is "an important move to institutionalize management of reincarnation.... At 72, the Dalai Lama, who has lived in India since 1959, is beginning to plan his succession, saying that he refuses to be reborn in Tibet so long as it's under Chinese control. Assuming he's able to master the feat of controlling his rebirth, as Dalai Lamas supposedly have for the last 600 years, the situation is shaping up in which there could be two Dalai Lamas: one picked by the Chinese government, the other by Buddhist monks"


Vibrating robber: "A robber who held up a bookmaker's shop in Leicester with his girlfriend's vibrator has been jailed. Nicki Jex, 27, of Braunstone, Leicester, hid the sex toy in a carrier bag pretending it was a gun, Leicester Crown Court heard. The manager at Ladbrokes in Narborough Road handed over more than 600 in cash when he pointed it at her on 27 December 2006, the court heard. On Monday, Jex, who pleaded guilty to robbery, was jailed for five years. The robbery was captured by CCTV inside the shop. As Jex left with more than 613 in till contents and other money, he was followed outside by the shop's last remaining customer Wayne Vakani the court heard. "The defendant pointed the vibrator in the bag at Mr Vakani and warned him to back off," said Tim Palmer, prosecuting. "Mr Vakani then kept a discreet distance but kept an eye on the defendant and watched where he went." The court heard that it was thanks to this customer that the defendant's hat, worn during the robbery and containing his DNA, was discovered nearby. Initially Jex denied any involvement but later changed his plea. He was a drug addict with a string of previous convictions dating back to February 2002, the court heard. Mr Vakani was awarded 500 by Judge Head for his "very considerable courage".


Terrorist chickens: "Chicken houses across the country are one step away from being named the newest terrorist targets, demanding stricter access and regulation, according to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security. As part of the DHS Chemical Facility Anti-Terrorism Standards, facilities with more than 7,500 pounds of propane gas could be considered high-risk. To determine if a facility is a security risk, operators must process complete "Top Screen" safety measures including vulnerability assessments, develop site security plans and implement protective measures approved by DHS. The rule affects as many as 20,000 sites across the country because propane gas is the most popular chicken house heating method used by poultry farmers, including hundreds in northeastern Louisiana. One house typically has a 1,000-gallon to 1,500-gallon tank attached to it. After Jackson Parish grower Todd Hibbard stopped laughing, he realized the joke could be on him. "It sounds like something that's going to cost me more money," said Hibbard, who operates eight chicken houses in a sparsely populated area. "What would the terrorists' blow up chickens? An explosion might get two or three neighbors, but mostly just the chickens."




100 years of the bra: "The humble bra, which revolutionised the way women dressed, this year celebrates its 100th birthday. Branded the "brassiere" by fashion bible Vogue in 1907, the invention has undergone many changes from the flat-chested flappers of the 1920s, to bra-burning ceremonies of the '60s and Madonna's cone shaped bustiers of the '80s. Stylist Lisa Cimmino said women were spoilt for choice when it came to the support staple. "The bra is a foundation piece in any women's wardrobe. We would be lost without them," she said. "I mean, 100 years on they are making our busts bigger or smaller, sexier or sportier." Do women know how to wear a bra correctly? "You should be having your bra fitted every 12 months and have at least three bras to choose from," Ms Cimmino said. "Always consider what bra is best when you are getting dressed as they can really make or break an outfit."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:58 PM

 


Raunchy Romanians








THE NEWS

Students played 'frisbee' with land mine: "Two Swiss students on holiday played frisbee with an object they found on a beach unaware it was a live land mine. Lukas Aider, 20, and Christoph Kurz, 19, took a plunge in the Danube river in Budapest when they found the mine and began their potentially lethal game. A lifeguard watching stopped them and immediately called the police. A bomb squad then arrived to make safe what turned out to be an old Soviet 6 kilogrammes anti-tank mine."




Blue eyes lead to bigger achievements: "People with blue eyes are likely to achieve more in life than those with brown, scientists say. US scientists who conducted the tests said brown-eyed people performed better at reaction time, but those with lighter eyes appeared to be better strategic thinkers, the Daily Mail reported. Brown-eyed people succeeded in activities such as football and hockey, but lighter-eyed particpants proved to be more succesful in activties that required skills in time structuring and planning such as golf, cross-country running and studying for exams, the scientists said. Louisville University professor Joanna Rowe, who conducted the tests, said the results suggested an unexplored link between eye colour and academic achievement. "It is just observed, rather than explained," she said. "There's no scientific answer yet." Bedfordshire University senior psychology lecturer Dr Tony Fallone, who has also studied eye colour, believed it should be taken more seriously as an indicator of personality and ability, the Daily Mail reported. [Brown better at sport, lighter colour better at thinking. Seems like I have heard that somewhere before]




Australia: Bra boy? "It's been the last female bastion but now blokes are moving into the women's underwear department. Underwear label Davenport has employed men to sell their fun label as they move into the youth underwear market. The move puts 22-year-old Paul Barton in the frontline, as the first male to work in women's underwear at Myer's Sydney city store. "I've never worked in lingerie but I thought this is going to be fun," said Mr Barton. To get him up to speed on lingerie he was given two hours training on product range and sizing by Davenport. He had also been supplied with a bra sizing chart. Robyn Scorer and Laura Hawkins, both 16, said they welcomed the move of men serving for the brand."




Glass in man's eye for 6 years: "A Chinese man lived with a large shard of glass hidden under his right eye for six years. Xiao Zhu, 22, had the eye injured by a beer bottle during a fight six years ago in Jinjiang city. "I had an operation right after the injury to fix the tear duct and the operation was successful," he said. "The wound sealed perfectly but the only problem was I always had tears running down which I thought was just a consequence of the operation." But one month ago Xiao Zhu's right eye became more painful. Check-ups in different hospitals found nothing abnormal. Finally surgeons at Dongnan Eye Hospital in Fuzhou city operated and found the shard of glass 6cms deep. Xiao Zhu will keep the 3.5 cm long shard as a souvenir after he checks out of the hospital, reports IC Network.




(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:31 PM

 


A cute mouse








Rules for newspaper writers from the Bulletin of the Minnesota Newspaper Association

Don't use no double negative.

Make each pronoun agree with their antecedent.

Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.

About them sentence fragments.

When dangling, watch your participles.

Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

Just between you and I, case is important too.

Don't write run-on sentences they are hard to read.

Don't use commas, which aren't necessary.

Try to not ever split infinitives.

Its important to use your apostrophe's correctly.

Proofread your writing to see if you any words out.

Correct spelling is absoluteley essential.






THE NEWS

Chinese evolves: "The guardians of Chinese, one of the world's oldest and most complicated written languages, have announced the incorporation of 171 new words after two years of research and the study of more than 900 million words in common usage. New phrases endorsed by the Ministry of Education include "house slaves", used to describe someone burdened with a big mortgage after joining China's legion of new home-owners, and "era of seven", which denotes the period after the yuan, China's currency, was strengthened to seven to the dollar. A husband and wife who maintain separate homes to try to keep the romance alive in their marriage can now be correctly referred to as "semi-honey couples". "Three-hand illness" is used to describe people fatigued by overuse of their hand to play with gaming machines, click on their computer mouse or to send messages via their mobile phone. Then there are the "grey skills" required by companies who demand that employees be in command of such nontraditional office techniques as drinking, singing karaoke and playing mahjong or cards. The phrase "mistress experts" has sprung up as a breed of new-rich entrepreneurs and powerful officials have set up "second wives". And a new generation of city-dwelling couples who prefer a pet to a child are now known as ding chong jiating or "Dinks with pets".


Official heroin in Britain: "A British company is recruiting farmers to cultivate opium to meet the growing demand for diamorphine [heroin] in hospitals across the country. In Britain, 3,000 hectares (7,400 acres) of land has already been planted in the hope of making Britain self-sufficient in diamorphine and guaranteeing a supply should a flu pandemic put an impossible strain on drug manufacturers. Diamorphine is commonly used to relieve the pain caused by heart attack, injury, surgery and cancers. The poppies are being produced legally - at undisclosed locations on farms in central and northern England - for processing in Britain by Macfarlan Smith, the Edinburgh-based pharmaceutical division of Johnson Matthey, the FTSE 100 company."




Pink for girls is inborn: "It's official. Blue is the most popular colour and women really do prefer pink, and reddish shades of blue like lilac and purple. And the preference isn't just a result of social stereotypes, pushing pink on girls and blue on boys. It's innate and occurs across cultures, claim British researchers who studied the colour preferences of 208 young adults: 171 Britons and 37 mainland Chinese. "Although we expected to find sex differences, we were surprised at how robust they were, given the simplicity of ourtest," said visual neuroscientist Anya Hurlbert of Newcastle University at Newcastle upon Tyne. Along with psychologist Yazhu Ling, Professor Hurlbert asked volunteers to select, as quickly as possible, their preferred colour from each of a series of paired, coloured rectangles. They reported yesterday in the journal Current Biology that the most popular colour by far was blue. "On top of that, females have a preference for the red end ofthe red-green axis, and this shifts their colour preference slightly away from blue towards red, which tends to make pinks and lilacs the most preferred colours in comparison with others," Professor Hurlbert said. The finding was so strong that observers could pick the sex of people based upon their colour preferences alone."


Swallowed bullets emerge: "A man who swallowed six pistol bullets in an alleged attempt to hide them from police during a drug bust at a country hotel has come clean with the evidence, much to the relief of police. For almost four days last week Reginald Anthony Parker, 60, of Wagga Wagga, in south-western NSW kept police and corrective services officers guarding him as they waited for nature to take its course. Parker's alleged bullet swallowing escapade began on Tuesday, August 14, when he was arrested by undercover officers at a Wagga Wagga Hotel during a drug sting operation. Police allegedly found a discarded hand gun for which no one has been charged. Allegedly found in possession of a quantity of amphetamines, Parker was taken to Wagga Wagga police station where he was charged with six offences relating to possession of amphetamines, sale of the drug and ongoing supply of the drug. Back in the cells of the Wagga Wagga Court Jail he fell ill and began to complain of stomach pains. Taken to Wagga Wagga Base Hospital an X-ray soon revealed six live bullets in his digestive tract, but medical staff stopped short of operating, telling police that Parker would eventually have to relieve himself of the slugs naturally. Parker was placed in "a dry cell" - a cell without a toilet or wash basin - and given a plastic bucket. For four days guards watched and waited until finally, last Friday, Parker came up with the wanted goods."




(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:47 PM

 


THE TRUTH ABOUT CATS

Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit.

Cats have the simplest of taste -- the best will suffice.

Dogs are like kids. Cats are like roommates.

Cats are living proof that eating and sleeping all day isn't all bad.

Cats teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

Traits we despise in people, we prize as virtues in cats.

Cats know all the sunny places.

An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.

A cat's favorite game is: "Hah! Made you look!"

A cat's worst enemy is a closed door.

Cats aren't as dignified as people say they are. (Ever watched a cat give itself a bath in the middle of the living room?)

Cats are good for dusting high places.

Cats have fur coats because they look silly in raincoats.

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

You don't own your cat. The cat owns you. And the cat owns the house. You just pay the mortgage.

Cats have their own lives; get on with yours.

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.

Cats operate on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.







THE NEWS

Snake therapy: "For 300 shekels (35 pounds), clients at Ada Barak's spa in northern Israel can add a wild twist to their treatment by having six non-venomous but very lively serpents slither and hiss a path across their aching muscles and stiff joints. "I'm actually afraid of snakes, but the therapeutic effects are really good," customer Liz Cohen told Reuters Television as Barak let the snakes loose on her body. Barak uses California and Florida king snakes, corn snakes and milk snakes in her treatments, which she said were inspired by her belief that once people get over any initial misgivings, they find physical contact with the creatures to be soothing."




Old solutions to eternal problems: "Sweaty gym workouts might be a necessary struggle for modern women wanting to keep trim, but they're nothing compared with what their sisters went through 300 years ago. Imagine smearing your wobbly bits with a smelly concoction of goose grease, fox oil, pine, rosin and turpentine and letting it set in plaster if you wanted to lose weight. Alternatively, you could bathe in claret wine mixed with wormwood, roses, rosemary, chamomile and sage. They were some of the best weight-loss tips offered in the 500-page Ladies' Dictionary written by a mystery author known only as HN in 1694. Overweight women were advised to "rise early in the morning; be exercised to sweating; be sparse in diet, not eating sweet things". Those with large breasts "that hang loose" were warned they were in danger of losing "their charms". To achieve the preferred "small plump and round" shape, women were told to spread a mixture including carrot seed, aniseed, fennel seeds, cumin, honey and vinegar over their breasts and bind them up for two days and nights. After that, they had to wash them in white wine and rose water for two weeks so they would be "reduced to a curious plumpness and charming roundness".


Inquiry into flying carpets: "The orders were clear: the operation was to be carried out with military precision. The six Italian officers knew it would be a difficult and dangerous mission. They would have to outwit the Taliban to infiltrate an area of Afghanistan near the Iranian border before seizing their targets and escaping. But there will be no medals for their derring-do. Instead, the officers are facing a court martial after investigators discovered that their targets were Afghan rugs and that they had been using troops and military helicopters to smuggle them out of the Herat area and back to Italy. Hundreds of carpets are believed to have ended up in the homes of officers and their friends, while others were sold in carpet shops or markets."


Frozen smoke?: "A miracle material for the 21st century could protect your home against bomb blasts, mop up oil spillages and even help man to fly to Mars. Aerogel, one of the world’s lightest solids, can withstand a direct blast of 1kg of dynamite and protect against heat from a blowtorch at more than 1,300C. Scientists are working to discover new applications for the substance, ranging from the next generation of tennis rackets to super-insulated space suits for a manned mission to Mars. It is expected to rank alongside wonder products from previous generations such as Bakelite in the 1930s, carbon fibre in the 1980s and silicone in the 1990s. Mercouri Kanatzidis, a chemistry professor at Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois, said: “It is an amazing material. It has the lowest density of any product known to man, yet at the same time it can do so much. I can see aerogel being used for everything from filtering polluted water to insulating against extreme temperatures and even for jewellery.” Aerogel is nicknamed “frozen smoke” and is made by extracting water from a silica gel, then replacing it with gas such as carbon dioxide. The result is a substance that is capable of insulating against extreme temperatures and of absorbing pollutants such as crude oil. It was invented by an American chemist for a bet in 1931, but early versions were so brittle and costly that it was largely consigned to laboratories."




(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 2:27 PM

 


Alleged US Navy Directive

U.S. Navy Directive 16134 (Inappropriate T-Shirts) The following directive was allegedly issued by the commanding officer of all naval installations in the Middle East. (It was obviously directed at the Marines.)

To: All Commands

Subject: Inappropriate T-Shirts Ref: ComMidEast For Inst 16134//24 K All commanders promulgate upon receipt. The following T-shirts are no longer to be worn on or off base by any military or civilian personnel serving in the Middle East:

"Eat Pork or Die" [both English and Arabic versions]

"Shrine Busters" [Various. Show burning minarets or bomb/artillery shells impacting Islamic shrines. Some with unit logos.]

"Napalm, Sticks Like Crazy" [Both English and Arabic versions]

"Goat - it isn't just for breakfast any more." [Both English and Arabic versions]

"The road to Paradise begins with me." [Mostly Arabic versions, but some in English. Some show sniper scope cross-hairs.]

"Guns don't kill people. I kill people." [Both Arabic and English versions]

"Pork. The other white meat." [Arabic version]

"Infidel" [English, Arabic and other coalition force languages.]

The above T-shirts are to be removed from Post Exchanges upon receipt of this directive. In addition, the following signs are to be removed upon receipt of this message:

"Islamic Religious Services Will Be Held at the Firing Range at 0800 Daily."

"Do we really need 'smart bombs' to drop on these dumb bastards?"

All commands are instructed to implement sensitivity training upon receipt.







THE NEWS

Crows no bird brains: "Crows, famous for using tools, have even more impressive brains than previously thought, displaying an intelligence that may have been crucial to human evolution. Seven New Caledonian crows retrieved an unreachable snack with a stick, which first had to be obtained using a shorter stick. This "metatool" use requires levels of intelligence and reasoning only seen before in humans and great apes. It may have allowed humans to use simple stone tools to fashion more complex ones. The new evidence shows a level of understanding similar tothat of chimpanzees and orang-utans. University of Auckland scientists placed a meat treat out of the crows' reach in a 15cm-deep hole. Nearby were two "toolboxes" with vertical bars through which the birds could insert bills, but not their heads. A stick long enough to fish the meat from the hole was in one toolbox, but too far behind the bars for the crow to reach. The other toolbox contained a stone in the same position. In front of both boxes lay a stick too short to extract the meat, but capable of reaching the long stick. All seven crows worked out how to get the long stick and extract the meat."


School Gets U.S. President's Name Wrong: "The Ogden School District needs a big eraser. After naming a new school "James A. Madison Elementary School" in May, a history teacher pointed out this month that the fourth president of the United States didn't have a middle initial. "I'm blindsided," school board member John Gullo said. "I hate being embarrassed." Gullo heads the American Dream Foundation, which donated a large painting of the former president to the school. An accompanying plaque does not have the mystery initial. Word of the mistake reached superintendent Noel Zabriskie, who verified it and called the company that was making a sign for the new school. The call came in time for the error to be fixed on the sign. It is set to be installed Friday. Some school letterheads will need to be replaced."




Vancouver: Welcome to Brollywood: "Vancouver, hosting an ever-lengthening list of American film and TV productions, these days is widely known as Hollywood North and in the rainy winter season, "Brollywood". More than 200 films and television programs are produced annually in and around the attractive city, its streets, parks, harbour and mountains to the north. And many of its 600,000 population (out of two million in Greater Vancouver) have become blase about seeing well-known actors shooting outdoors scenes in the streets, eating in fashionable restaurants or strolling through hotel lobbies."




Lovable rat: "A sewer rat called Remy has succeeded where generations of statesmen failed: spreading a bit of love between France and the US. After years of discord, the French might have taken offence at an American yarn about rats in a Paris restaurant. Instead, the country has fallen madly in love with Ratatouille, a Hollyood story about a rat with culinary talent. The new 3-D animation from Disney's Pixar studios has topped the French box office in the two weeks since it scored the biggest opening day for an animated film in France. More than three million people have seen it. Audiences in stuffy Paris quartiers are applauding the feelgood finale, in which Remy the rat triumphs with a message that echoes the can-do doctrines of President Sarkozy: if you work hard, you will prosper. Mr Sarkozy is expected to see Ratatouille after his return yesterday from his summer break in New Hampshire. Cinema critics in France and even the guardians of its gastronomic temple have pronounced the US blockbuster a work of genius"





(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 7:04 PM

 


The world's strangest laws

Did you know it's illegal in France to name a pig Napoleon? Or that in Ohio you're not allowed to get a fish drunk?

25. It is illegal for a cab in the City of London to carry rabid dogs or corpses.

24. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.

23. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down.

22. In France, it is forbidden to call a pig Napoleon.

21. Under the UK's Tax Avoidance Schemes Regulations 2006, it is illegal not to tell the taxman anything you don't want him to know, though you don't have to tell him anything you don't mind him knowing.

20. In Alabama, it is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle.

19. In Ohio, it is against state law to get a fish drunk.

18. Royal Navy ships that enter the Port of London must provide a barrel of rum to the Constable of the Tower of London.

17. In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants - even, if she so requests, in a policeman's helmet.

16. In Lancashire, no person is permitted after being asked to stop by a constable on the seashore to incite a dog to bark.

15. In Miami, Florida, it is illegal to skateboard in a police station.

14. In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation.

13. In the UK, all men over the age of 14 must carry out two hours of longbow practice a day.

12. In London, Freemen are allowed to take a flock of sheep across London Bridge without being charged a toll; they are also allowed to drive geese down Cheapside.

11. In San Salvador, drunk drivers can be punished by death before a firing squad.

10. In the UK, a man who feels compelled to urinate in public can do so only if he aims for his rear wheel and keeps his right hand on his vehicle.

9. In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on Sundays can be jailed.

8. In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon more than six-feet long.

7. In Chester, Welshmen are banned from entering the city before sunrise and from staying after sunset.

6. In the city of York, it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.

5. In Boulder, Colorado, it is illegal to kill a bird within the city limits and also to "own" a pet - the town's citizens, legally speaking, are merely "pet minders".

4. In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.

3. In London, it is illegal to flag down a taxi if you have the plague.

2. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination; he may only see their reflection in a mirror.

1. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast is legally the property of the King; the tail, on the other hand, belongs to the Queen - in case she needs the bones for her corset.







THE NEWS

'Career flasher' sentenced to 13 years jail: "A 52-year-old man that US prosecutors called a "career flasher" was sentenced to more than 13 years in prison after pleading no contest to charges he exposed himself to a woman on a San Francisco commuter train. Police arrested Kenneth Ray Burton last year after he allegedly began masturbating in front of a woman on a Bay Area Rapid Transit train. Prosecutors sought the lengthy prison sentence because Burton already had two prior convictions for indecent exposure and a previous conviction on six counts related to sexual assault, San Mateo County Chief Deputy District Attorney Steve Wagstaffe said. The sentence of 13 years, four months in state prison was handed down yesterday in San Mateo County Superior Court after Burton agreed to plead no contest to five felony counts of indecent exposure. He originally faced a maximum sentence of 25 years to life. "Our concern was, 'Are we being too lenient? Are we adequately protecting the public'?" Wagstaffe said. "We have a person here who has done this for many, many years. And with all likelihood, he will be doing it again."




The Emmy is in the mail: "When Cairns [Australia] resident Karen Doane received a 7kg box in the mail from the US, she thought it was simply ski clothes for an upcoming trip. So imagine her surprise when she opened the package to find a glistening golden Emmy statue. Ms Doane says while she knew she had won an Emmy back in April as an Associate Producer for the Best Edited Sports Special 2006 on American TV, she was part of a much larger team. "I was absolutely shocked when I opened the box and found the real Emmy inside with my name engraved on the bottom," Ms Doan said."


Sorry about eating the Methodist: "A tribe in Papua New Guinea has apologised for killing and eating four 19th century missionaries under the command of a doughty British clergyman. The four Fijian missionaries were on a proselytising mission on the island of New Britain when they were massacred by Tolai tribesmen in 1878. They were murdered on the orders of a local warrior chief, Taleli, and were then cooked and eaten. The Fijians - a minister and three teachers - were under the leadership of the Reverend George Brown, an adventurous Wesleyan missionary who was born in Durham but spent most of his life spreading the word of God in the South Seas. Thousands of villagers attended a reconciliation ceremony near Rabaul, the capital of East New Britain province, once notorious for the ferocity of its cannibals. Their leaders apologised for their forefather's taste for human flesh to Fiji's high commissioner to Papua New Guinea".


Brazil to pay for sex-changes: "Brazil's public health care system will cover the cost of sex-change operations, the government said, after a federal court ruled the procedure was a constitutional right. To qualify for health care, the operation will first have to be approved by a panel of doctors, after appropriate psychological and medical evaluations are made of the patient, the Health Ministry said in a statement. The ruling issued late Thursday by the Regional Federal Court of Porto Alegre, in the south, sided with the Public Ministry's (ombudsman's office) argument that sexual reassignment surgery was a constitutional right, along with human dignity, equality, privacy and health care. The government in the lawsuit maintained it lacked the funds to pay for sex-change operations, but said it would not appeal the court ruling. The court's chief judge Rober Raupp Rios said the ruling would prevent self mutilation by people with sexual identity problems."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 2:02 PM

 


Sooty the champ








THE NEWS

Italian town to pay residents to shed flab: "Overweight residents of an Italian town will be paid to lose weight, the mayor said on Monday. Men living in the northwestern Italian town of Varallo will receive 50 euros ($70) for losing 4 kg (9 pounds) in a month, Mayor Gianluca Buonanno said. Women will get the same amount for shedding 3 kg (7 pounds). ... The town of 7,500 people started the campaign on Friday and some residents have already signed up, he said. Around 35 percent of Italians are overweight or obese, according to European Union figures, with waistlines expanding as the country's healthy Mediterranean diet has given way to processed foods rich in fat, sugar and salt."


Some sense in Britain: "Drivers who cruise the streets with loud music blaring risk losing more than their hearing. Police in Birmingham have pledged to confiscate their cars if they refuse to turn down the volume. Operation United will target drivers of souped-up vehicles with high-output boom boxes who congregate in the Broad Street entertainment district of the city. Acting Sgt Jake Flanagan, of West Midlands Police, said: "Where a vehicle is being driven in a careless or inconsiderate manner and is likely to cause harassment, distress or annoyance to anybody else, we have the power to seize that vehicle." Peter Wakeham, of the Noise Abatement Society, said: "They are a thundering nuisance and serve no purpose other than to annoy other road users. I hope more police and local authorities follow suit."




Sex orgy 'lasts for days': "They come together in the hundreds, attracted by a pheromone that makes them crazy with desire, and spend the next couple of days having continuous sex. This group orgy isn't made up of free-thinking humans with a passion for physical attention, but rather a species of near-blind marine animal. Humans find love in many different ways, but for sea slugs, a powerful sex attractant is responsible for drawing them to a partner and stimulating them to mate. Scott Cummins and his colleagues at the University of Queensland uncovered the potent mix of chemicals, describing it as the sea slug equivalent of a cross between "Chanel No 5 and Viagra." Dr Cummins said generally a sea slug's day involved cruising the bottom of the ocean alone. But during summer when the weather warmed, something triggered hundreds of them to gather in a sexual frenzy. And the "party" often lasted for days, Dr Cummins said. Exactly how sea slugs signal each other for this mating ritual has been a mystery for a long time, but researchers found the creatures secreted a cocktail of small proteins as a "pheromone message". "To sea slugs these pheromones are powerful ... just a teaspoonful in a swimming pool-sized tank can make all the sea slugs lovestruck and send them into a mating frenzy."


Priest fined for ringing bells too loudly: "A Dutch priest has been fined 5,000 euro ($A8,220) for ringing his church bells too loudly in the morning. The Catholic priest began ringing the bells at just after seven in the morning soon after arriving in Tilburg about six months ago, a spokesman for the town council said. This prompted dozens of complaints from residents and the council in the southern town agreed the priest was breaking the rules. "The priest can ring his bells whenever he likes, but he has to keep within noise regulations. People don't appreciate it," the spokesman said. The priest risks further fines if he continues."




(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 12:18 PM

 


Ladies' tips

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.

2. If the shoe fits - buy one in every color.

3. Take life with a pinch of salt... a wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila

4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!

5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).

6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just my personality.

8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.

9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

10. Don't get your knickers in a knot, it solves nothing; and makes you walk funny.

11. When life gives you lemons - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.

12. Remember every good looking; sweet, single male is someone else's ex boyfriend!







THE NEWS

Web site offers to ruin lives for $20 a month: "A service offering a complete 'revenge package' in which people can destroy the financial status and relationships of their enemies at the click of a mouse is being offered over the Internet. For as little as $20 a month, customers of the confidentialaccess.com Website can make the credit ratings of people they dislike plummet, and even have them suspected of fraud. Victims' bank accounts can be shut down remotely and all their essential utilities cut off."


Couple burns down own home in one minute: "What started as a spark in a lawn mower turned into a suburban inferno that razed a two-storey home in less than a minute. What began the comedy of errors was US man Danny Fendley innocently tugging at the pull cord of his lawn mower in the garage of his Atlanta home on Tuesday. It burst into flames before exploding, the Associated Press reported. And before he had time to act, it had spread through the garage. Then his wife tried to toss a can of petrol out a window as the blaze spread, but she missed, spreading the fuel "everywhere," Mr Fendley said. The flames engulfed the house in less than a minute. The couple escaped without serious injury."


Crafty alligator: :An alligator who acquired celebrity status in Los Angeles by eluding capture for months has hit the headlines again after escaping from his zoo enclosure. A hunt for the alligator - known as Reggie by media and local officials - was launched after he was discovered missing from his pen at Los Angeles Zoo, where he had been placed last week following his capture in a lake in May. A frantic search found Reggie lurking near a zoo loading dock and he was caught and placed in quarantine, officials said. Zoo officials said they believed the alligator had broke out of his new home after scaling a side wall in the exhibit. "Reggie's a crafty alligator,'' zoo spokesman Jason Jacobs said. Zoo director John Lewis said officials had worked out how Reggie had escaped and taken steps to prevent a repeat incident. "This alligator just keeps amazing us,'' Mr Lewis said. "We are going to keep him under watch to make sure he stays put.''


Fake dentist exposed - after 29 years: "Malaysian police have arrested a man who practised as a dentist for 29 years although he had no medical training and treated patients at his home in a cast-off examining chair. The impostor's closest brush with the dental profession was during 1962 to 1978, when he assisted an army dentist by carrying his bag on visits to plantation workers' homes, the New Straits Times reported today. "I watched the doctor diagnose and treat problems with teeth," the paper quoted the unidentified man as saying when officials raided his home this week. "I also saw how he would extract teeth and make models and measurements for dentures." The 63-year-old, who convinced his neighbours he was a retired army dentist after being told he was too old to work as a dentist's assistant, charged 20 ringgit ($A7) for extractions and 130 ringgit ($45) for dentures, the paper said. Health officials seized antibiotics, painkillers, syringes and bottles of Chinese medicine during the raid, but they needed more than six men to carry off his 1940s-era examining chair, tossed away by the Malaysian army in 1978. The paper said the raid occurred after a tip-off."




(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 1:58 PM

 


How it works

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at night, so they created a night watchman position (GS-4) and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning position and hired two people: one person to write the instructions (GS-12) and one person to do time studies (GS-11).

Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Q.C. position and hired two people, one GS-9 to do the studies and one GS-11 to write the reports.

Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created the following positions, a timekeeper (GS-09) and a payroll officer (GS-11) and hired two people.

Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"

So they created an administrative position and hired three people: an Admin. Officer (GM-13), an Assistant Admin. Officer (GS-13) and a Legal Secretary (GS-08).

Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost," so they laid off the night watchman.





Blacks NEED to be good sprinters



(Despite their goofy looks, hippos ARE actually very dangerous)






THE NEWS

British prisoners like their porridge: "Porridge is back on the menu at one of the country's biggest prisons after being replaced by breakfast packs containing cereal and jam. Inmates at Pentonville jail are able to spend their own money to buy porridge oats from the shop to prepare for breakfast after a report said that the prepared packs were unpopular.


You're under arrest, dear: "This might make for a tense time at home. A police officer in the US state of Nevada has pulled over his own wife and booked her for drink-driving. According to a police report, Charlotte Moore, 36, a jail deputy, was driving her vehicle when her husband, Elko County Sheriff's Deputy Mike Moore, pulled her over. She allegedly left before being administered a portable breathalyser test, the Elko Daily Free Press reported. Mike Moore pulled her over again and called the Elko Police Department for backup. He left shortly after another officer arrived. Charlotte Moore has since been put on paid administrative leave, Elko County Undersheriff Rocky Gonzalez said."


Jap biker didn't notice missing limb: "A Japanese biker failed to notice his leg had been severed below the knee when he hit a safety barrier and rode on for two kilometres, leaving a friend to pick up the missing limb. The 54-year-old office worker was out on his motorcycle with a group of friends in the city of Hamamatsu, west of Tokyo, yesterday, when he was unable to negotiate a curve in the road and bumped into the central barrier, the Mainichi Shimbun said. He felt excruciating pain, but did not notice his right leg was missing until he stopped at the next junction, the paper quoted local police as saying. The man and his leg were taken to hospital, but the limb had been crushed in the collision, the paper said."


Indonesian police find 10,000 bombs: "Police investigating a deadly blast in a coastal Indonesian town have discovered 10,000 semi-finished bombs intended for fishing, they said today. The weekend blast in Pasuruan, East Java killed three people and initially triggered speculation of a link to Islamic militants, before police said explosives intended for fishing caused the tragedy. "In total, the evidence we have gathered includes 45 kilogrammes of TNT, 8,000 detonators and some 10,000 bombs for fishing," national police spokesman Sisno Adiwinoto told reporters in the capital Jakarta. The bombs were found in a house near one destroyed by Saturday's explosion and were clearly intended for fishing as "they are packaged differently than those of terrorists," he said".



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:54 PM

 


Dinner Out

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce, it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infinity or Lexus in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," says her husband.

"Ours is prettier," she replies.







THE NEWS

Teenage girl overdoses on coffee: "A British teenager has been rushed to hospital after overdosing on espresso coffee. 17-year-old student Jasmine Willis downed seven double espressos while working in her family's sandwich shop and was left "burning up and hyperventilating". He father Gary told the Daily Mail she thought the coffees were single measures and she was stunned when she started laughing and crying for no reason while serving customers. "My nerves were all over the place," Jasmine said. "I was crying in front of the customers and had tears streaming down my face." After being sent home, she quickly developed frightening physical symptoms. "I was drenched. I was burning up and hyperventilating," she said. "I was having palpitations, my heart was beating so fast and I think I was going into shock." Ms Willis's cousin called an ambulance and she was rushed to the University Hospital of North Durham where doctors confirmed she had overdosed on caffeine. After monitoring her condition for a few hours, she was allowed to return home. The teenager said she can't stand the sight of coffee since her ordeal."




Croc target spent week up tree: "Cape York stockman [cowboy] David George has spent seven nights up a tree in a crocodile-infested swamp, bleeding and with little food - and lived to tell the tale. The father-of-one and co-manager at Silver Plains cattle station yesterday told his remarkable tale of survival and rescue by chopper in rugged bushland near Coen, in the state's remote far north. "Every night I was stalked by two crocs who would sit at the bottom of the tree staring up at me," Mr George recalled yesterday. "All I could see was two sets of red eyes below me and all night I had to listen to a big bull croc bellowing a bit further out. "I'd yell out at them, 'I'm not falling out of this tree for you bastards'." Dazed and bleeding after a tumble from his horse earlier this month, the bushie had given the horse its head in the pre-dawn dark to get him home - only to find it had taken him more than a kilometre into the heart of a croc swamp. "I couldn't go back, it was too far and too dangerous, so I headed to the nearest high ground and stayed there, hoping someone would come and find me before the crocs did." If I hadn't seen the crocs circling me, and if I hadn't fallen into the croc nest, I would have made a push for it. But I knew the safest thing was for me to sit tight and wait." On the eighth day of his ordeal, the missing stockman was found last Wednesday after a search involving the Australian Army, police, SES crews from Coen, Cooktown, Cairns and Brisbane and Aboriginal trackers."




Men urged to "win" their girlfriends a boob job: "A men's magazine has outraged women's health specialists by urging men to "win" their girlfriend a boob job by sending in shots of her cleavage. Zoo Weekly magazine has launched an online competition offering $10,000 breast implants as a prize to the girl "who deserves it most". "One lucky Zoo reader will be able to give his girlfriend the ultimate present," magazine editor Paul Merrill said in a statement. "It's impossible to think of a more romantic gift than new breasts. "It's the gift that keeps on giving." But women's health specialists and the Australian Society of Plastic Surgeons disagree, branding the competition a poor-taste publicity stunt that is unethical and possibly even illegal. "I'm disgusted and appalled, and very doubtful they can even offer major body modification as a prize," said public health researcher Dr Jenny O'Dea, of the University of Sydney. "You simply cannot treat women in this way, like objects there for men's satisfaction." [Sounds like she would not satisfy anybody]




Crocodile eats shark: "They're two of the most feared natural predators in the Territory - but there was only ever going to be one winner in this battle of the beasts. This large saltwater crocodile made short work of a much smaller bull shark on the banks of the Daly River when it grabbed it in its jaws and dragged it up on to a sandbank. Indrek Urvet captured these amazing pictures (above) while fishing on the Daly."




(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:54 PM

 


A Raunchy woman








THE NEWS

British TV fraud: "It was billed as one of Bear Grylls's most audacious challenges yet. The Eton-educated television adventurer had to escape an active volcano in the Pacific by leaping across molten lava and avoiding clouds of "killer" gas. However, the episode of Born Survivor set on the Mount Kilauea volcano in Hawaii has emerged as faked in a scandal that has embroiled the television industry - and now threatens Grylls's future TV career. The white clouds of poisonous "sulphur dioxide" that billowed around the former SAS explorer were, in fact, harmless vapour created by smoke machines. And according to insiders, the red glow of the molten magma which he warned could incinerate him "in seconds" was supplemented by burning hot coals brought in by members of the production team."


Photo ends hunt for daughter: "A father posing for a publicity photograph in an attempt to track down the daughter he hadn't seen in 10 years was unaware that she was standing just behind him. Michael Dick had lost track of Lisa, 31, when his first marriage broke down. After searching the electoral register for clues, he went to the local free newspaper, which agreed to do a story about his search. Mr Dick posed in a photo with his two daughters from his second marriage. Lisa, who was told about the article by friends, was amazed to see herself and her mother in the background of the photo. The family has been reunited."




Sure to be global warming: "Scientists are investigating the mysterious disappearance of more than 5,000 common seals from Britain's coastline. Zoologists from the University of St Andrews are so concerned about the catastrophic slump in population that they are carrying out the first complete survey of Scotland's common seal population, home to 80 per cent of the British total. Two teams of researchers will spend the next two weeks flying over the coast in helicopters using military-specification thermal imaging technology to pinpoint seals"


Croc smuggler stopped in Egypt: "A young Saudi man was stopped at the airport after X-ray scans revealed 250 live baby crocodiles, along with chameleons and snakes, in his luggage. It was "the largest smuggling attempt of Nile crocodiles in aviation history," said Yusef Mamduh, the airport vet. The animals were taken to a zoo near Cairo"



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:43 PM

 


Help for a stranger

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.

So, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is a man standing at the door. It doesn't take the homeowner long to realize the man is drunk.

"Hi there," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push?" "No, get lost! It's half past three! I was in bed!" screams the man as he slams the door. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened.

She remarks, "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"

"But the guy was drunk," says the husband. "It doesn't matter," explains the wife. "He needs our help and it would be nice to help him."

So, the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door but he can't see the stranger anywhere in the dark, so he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?"

He hears a voice cry out, "Yes, please."

"Where are you?" shouts the homeowner.

The stranger calls back, "I'm over here, on your swing."






THE NEWS

Pump and dump sends spam soaring: "Spammers have unleashed one of the biggest online stock manipulation campaigns in history in the last 24 hours, increasing global spam levels by 30 per cent. Experts at SophosLabs have detected about 500 million emails containing advice to invest in Prime Time Stores Inc. - an obscure US-listed group - in a record-breaking example of the "pump-and-dump" spamming technique. "Pump-and-dump" is when spammers buy shares, orchestrate a spam campaign promoting the company, then wait for a share price to rise before selling their stock for a profit. "This particular campaign was first detected 24 hours ago in Germany and has caused a 30-per cent rise in spam worldwide compared to typical levels," said Graham Cluley, senior technology consultant for Britain-based Sophos. "This is staggering. It's one of the biggest spam campaigns we've ever seen," he said. The email cites a company press release announcing the opening of shops by Prime Time Stores in Puerto Rico and goes on to say: "Imagine if you had the chance to buy a Wal-Mart franchise in Mexico right when it first opened its doors there and all you needed was a small stake to get in." It adds: "Hurry, we see this stock starting to make the turn NOW."



German beer goes wild: "In 1516, a Bavarian law, the Reinheitsgebot, became the world's first food purity law. It provided that only water, hops and barley were to be used in the making of beer. On the Konigsee, at the foot of the Alps, the locals like to say their lake is perfectly clean and pure. Is it potable? The locals wouldn't know, because they don't drink water. In Germany, beer is a religion. "But now Beck's offers a Green Lemon flavour, which is essentially a glorified shandy. The venerable brewery also offers Level 7, a pilsener mixed with an energy drink. And Chilled Orange, which boasts the taste of cumquat. Clearly the marketers at Beck's have identified a new generation: young, hip and desperate for cumquat. Bitburger also has three new varieties: Bit Sun, which offers a 'sunny' taste; Bit Copa, which is green and billed as a 'refreshingly Brazilian party booster'; and Bit Passion, which is pink and tastes of pomegranate - another marketing niche".


A REALLY bad singer -- sends woman crazy: "A woman has attacked a male karaoke singer who was singing Coldplay in a Seattle bar. The woman told the man, who was singing Yellow, that he "sucked" before pushing and punching him in a bid to make him stop singing, Associated Press reported. "It took three or four of us to hold her down," bartender Robert Willmette said. He said the 21-year-old woman then "went crazy", throwing punches at him and head-butting an off-duty police officer twice. The off-duty officer was treated for cuts, scrapes and bruises, Associated Press reported. The woman was charged with assault. According to bartender notes, she only had a single shot of Jagermeister."





Fantastic plastic: "She vowed she'd never get plastic surgery, but famously flat-chested Paris Hilton has raised eyebrows with her newly heavy chest. Hilton says it's a booster swimsuit featuring an internal push-up bra that has emphasised her newly curvaceous figure. But speculation is rife that the heiress has gone under the knife, despite declaring her anti-surgery stance last year. Hilton once considered breast augmentation surgery before being talked out of it by her father, Rick. At the time she said: "I don't need it and I would never get it. It's gross - and it always ends up looking really fake. But if a girl is miserable and that's the only way to make her happy, then that's fine."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 1:31 PM

 


YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN A REDNECK CHURCH IF.......

1 ) The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

2 ) People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

3 ) When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering", five guys and two women stand up.

4 ) Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5 ) A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of" (Love it!)

6 )The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

7 ) In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

8 ) People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

9 ) The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.

10 ) The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

11 ) The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.

12 ) Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.

13 ) The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

14 ) The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

15 ) "Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.

16 ) The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear".?

God Bless and don't fergit to say yer prayers!







THE NEWS

Miracle condom: "British condom maker Futura Medical Plc has said that results of a study showed its new condom helped men have firmer and bigger erections, as well as a longer-lasting sexual experience. Shares in the company, which specialises in sexual healthcare and pain relief, rose 14.5 per cent to 59.25 pence on hopes the condom, which will be marketed by Durex condom-maker SSL International , could go on sale next year. Futura said the study of 108 healthy couples showed its CSD500 condom helped men to get a firmer erection compared with a standard condom, increased penis size and made the sexual experience last longer, delivering statistically significant results. The condom has a small amount of gel in its peak that dilates the arteries and increases blood flow to the penis. Chief Executive James Barder said the study results underpinned hopes the contraceptive will start generating revenues in 2008."


Identical triplets: British woman beats huge odds: "Doctors in Austria are hailing a medical sensation after a British woman beat odds of one in 200 million and gave birth to identical triplets. Twenty-five-year-old Mae Christina Astley had three girls called Amy, Kim and Zoe by Caesarean in western Austria on Monday. The babies were delivered four weeks' prematurely each weighing 1.5kg. The girls' father, 27-year-old Thomas Graziadei, says he's thankful everything went well, but they all look the same and he doesn't know how they're going to tell them apart when they haven't got their hospital wristbands on. Doctors say they expect the babies, who were concieved naturally, to be fine. Identical triplets are extremely rare because it means the original fertilised egg split and then one of the resulting cells split again.


A really determined ignoramus: "A British woman has had her stereo confiscated after neighbours complained about her blasting out Dolly Parton hits at top volume around the clock. Diane Duffin reportedly made life a misery for people living near her in the Armley area of Leeds, northern England, by playing country and western hits like 9 to 5 and Stand By Your Man at all hours of the day and night. Leeds City Council said it slapped a noise abatement order on the mother of four and with police confiscated her music system, televisions, DVD players, a computer and games consoles and a number of compact discs and games. Legal action has also begun against Ms Duffin for breaching the noise abatement order, to evict her from her council home and to have her sanctioned with an anti-social behaviour order, it added.




Forgotten art worth a motza: "Forgetting to pick up your suit from the dry-cleaners is easily done. Forgetting to pick up your collection of 64 valuable 19th-century Indian paintings from a museum is another matter. That is exactly what happened to a British man who took his collection to the British Museum's free object identification service - only to forget to collect it for 14 years. The museum tried repeatedly to contact the man about his important collection of lavishly detailed paintings of Hindu deities of the Tamil country, created in India around 1820 for British patrons. Richard Blurton, the museum's curator in the Asia department, made attempts to find the owner, but there was no word from him until a few months ago when he casually appeared again, saying that he had come to collect his paintings. He was astonished to learn of their significance and is now 70,000 pounds richer because the museum has bought them."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 6:06 PM

 


Strange double-think

1. The left equates Bush with Hitler and attacks his support of Israel.

2. It bridles at the charge that it is antisemitic and singles out the world's only Jewish state for universal condemnation.

3. It says that the president has shredded the Constitution and that it is is a living document.

4. It accuses the president of going into Iraq for oil, and it also accuses him of destroying the infrastructure of Iraq.

5. It says that corporations are evil, and it relies on their inventions and products like everyone else.

6. It calls America a racist, genocidal state, and it attacks the administration for squandering our international reputation.

7. It says that the debate about global warming is over and refuses to debate challengers.

8. The left is for women's rights and for cultures that see things differently.

9. It says that the term "colored people" is racist and that we should say "people of color" instead.

10. It says that globalization is bad and that international cooperation is good.

11. Whenever President Bush invokes the memory of 9/11, the left calls him a fear monger, and it also insists that a catastrophic climate change is coming soon.

12. It says that the president is out of touch with reality and that he conspires with evil masterminds to grab as much imperial power as he can.

13. The left sees portents of a Christian theocracy behind every Christmas creche, and it will call you a bigot twice over if you say that jihadists are Islamic kamikaze killers.

14. It says that we cannot win in Iraq but that we can destroy the planet.

15. The left wants to stop us from promoting abstinence as the ideal means of birth and STD control, but mandates forcing tobacco companies to advertise non-smoking among teens because it is sure to result in fewer smokers.

16. The left wants us to surrender in the war against terror in Iraq because it is a long and costly venture, but also wants us to keep on fighting the war on poverty which has so far cost trillions ($12 trillion, according to some estimates) and is now in its 5 th decade.

17. The left wants us to believe the same government that does such a good job running veterans' healthcare, public education, social security, and immigration is going to really do a great job running a nationalized healthcare system.

18. It hates religion -- except for Islam, which can do no wrong.






THE NEWS

Florist reveals married man's infidelity: "A married man is suing an online florist for $1.15 million after it revealed his infidelity to his wife. Leroy Greer of Missouri City asked 1-800-Flowers to send a dozen red roses to his mistress and to keep the order private by not mailing the transaction to his home or office, Fark.com reported. However, months later, 1-800-Flowers sent a thank-you card to Mr Greer's home. Mr Greer's wife called the business for proof of purchase. 1-800-Flowers faxed her proof of Mr Greer's order of flowers for his mistress. The fax included Mr Greer's card message which read: "Just wanted to say I love you and you mean the world to me! Leroy". His wife has filed for divorce."


Priest kills secret son to save career: "A Mexican priest has been sentenced to 55 years in prison for killing a son he did not want his superiors to discover. The Reverend Dagoberto Valle Arriaga confessed to killing his son, Oscar Emmanuel Valle Hernandez, two years ago, said the attorney general's office for the central state of Mexico. Valle, who fathered the child with a woman identified as Maria Felix Hernandez Espinoza, was afraid church officials would uncover the child's existence and remove him from the priesthood, authorities said today. Prosecutors did not say how old the son was at the time of his death, or release any details about his mother. Valle was a Roman Catholic priest in the city of Texcoco, just east of Mexico City."


Priest faces charge for nude jogging: "A Catholic priest faces an indecent exposure charge after jogging in the nude about an hour before sunrise. The Reverend Robert Whipkey, 53, told officers he had been running naked at a high school track and did not think anyone would be around at that time of day, a police report said. He told officers he sweats profusely if he wears clothing while jogging. "I know what I did was wrong," he said in the report. The Archdiocese of Denver said it takes the incident seriously but is awaiting the outcome of the case. Whipkey remains an active priest. If convicted of indecent exposure, a misdemeanour, he would have to register as a sex offender, prosecutors said."


Scientists reveal secret of levitation: ""Scientists have discovered a ground-breaking way of levitating ultra small objects, which may revolutionize the design of micro-machines, a new report says. Physicists said they can create 'incredible levitation effects' by manipulating so-called Casimir force, which normally causes objects to stick together by quantum force. The phenomenon could be used to improve the performances of everyday devices ranging from car airbags to computer chips, say Professor Ulf Leonhardt and Dr Thomas Philbin from Saint Andrews University."


Iran: Searching for a lost puppy is "moral corruption": "A young Iranian who was searching for his lost puppy in a Tehran neighborhood has been arrested and ordered to stand trial for 'moral corruption'. According to the Tehran daily, Etemad Melli, the young man was caught while putting up a notice in which he was promising a reward to anyone who found his dog. "Looking for a lost dog indicates the spread of a corrupt culture, which indirectly popularises keeping a dog at home, something that is completely foreign to the culture and Isamic tradition," said Tehran police spokesman, Mehdi Ahmadi. "In arresting this young man, we wanted to send a very clear message to our young people, you need to steer away from the corrupt culture imported from the west."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 4:15 PM

 


Nasty-looking object

It looks like some awful insect but is in fact a "roadheader" tunnel-boring machine







The Fallen Buttered Toast Rule

In Yiddish folklore, the real-life Polish town of Chelm was characterized as a legendary community of fools. According to this folkloric tradition, Chelm's residents were exceedingly proud of their tradition of non-wisdom and convoluted insight into the world's problems. They viewed themselves as brilliant.

There are many hilarious stories about the backwards logic of Chelm. Writers like Sholom Aleichem and Isaac Bashevis Singer were only two of the authors who put these stories to paper.

Even Chelm's beggars had their own matrix for proper conduct. Shlomo the beggar went every week to solicit money from a wealthy merchant to help feed his family-and each week the merchant gave Shlomo the same amount. One week, however, the merchant gave Shlomo a little less money, saying that business was very bad. Feeling aggrieved, Shlomo responded with the line that has since become famous: "Because you had a bad week, why should I suffer?"

Chelm's citizens lived with certain basic standards of expected behavior. "The fallen buttered toast rule" was commonly known and generally accepted. When toast was dropped on the floor, it would always fall with the buttered side facing up. One day a woman dropped her toast and it fell with the buttered side facing down. She ran to the Grand Illustrious Council of the Wise Men of Chelm for an explanation as to how this unexpected violation of a rule could happen. After much deliberation, fumbling and arguing, the Council determined that she had obviously buttered the toast on the wrong side. With that stroke of wisdom, the woman and the rest of the town were satisfied and reassured that all was well with the world.







THE NEWS

Map-reading beyond 11 million Brits: "As many as 11 million British motorists are unable to read a basic road map, according to a new survey. The poll revealed more than 75 per cent of British drivers were unable to identify the motorway map symbol, while only 1 per cent of motorists would pass the Cub Scout Map Reader badge test. "It's pretty embarrassing the majority of Cub Scouts have better map-reading skills than the majority of the adult population," said Colin Batabyal, head of underwriting and business development at eSure, which carried out the survey. Sixteen per cent of British drivers had become so heavily reliant on satellite navigation systems that they had given up keeping a map in their car. "It's time for motorists to take a refresher in map-reading skills," said Scott Sinclair of national mapping agency Ordnance Survey. "Technology is great but the batteries won't run out on a paper map"


'Mutant vultures' terrorise Pyrenees: "When a French pensioner died of a brain haemorrhage during a walk in the Pyrenees this summer, vultures started circling low over the body. "His three friends were really frightened," said a local resident. "They were convinced the vultures were going to attack ... they managed to scare the birds away. But they were in a complete panic." There have been reports from across the French Pyrenees this year of a radical change in the way the region's vultures behave. A program to incinerate animal carcasses in Spain has deprived "les vautours" of food, causing them to become aggressive. Where once they scavenged, now they hunt, according to farmers. Alain Larralde, a cattle breeder in Ilharre in the French Basque country, said in May he saw dozens of birds kill a cow. "I saw the cow slumped on the ground in the middle being devoured. It really hurt. You can't image what it's like to see an animal being eaten alive." So far this year, officials have registered 42 demands for compensation from breeders who say their livestock has been attacked by vultures. There were 33 requests last year. But ornithologists say it is collective hysteria. Denis Vincent, of the French Bird Protection League, said: "These stories don't stand up. It's impossible for vultures to fly off with animals bigger than them, as people have claimed, especially when those animals are alive."


Indian snack seller deep in Dikshit: "It was, perhaps, the ultimate cover for an aspiring racketeer in the Indian capital. In the early 1980s Ashok Malhotra began delivering masala tea and snacks to the Delhi Assembly in his three-wheeled Bajaj van. So tasty was his chhole - a popular chickpea snack - that it earned him influential patrons and, in 1986, a contract to run the canteen inside the city legislature. But 21 years on, Mr Malhotra has been exposed as someone potentially far more powerful - and sinister - than a humble chhole-wallah. Police arrested him yesterday on suspicion of running a multimillion-pound scam to cheat slum dwellers out of their land in cahoots with dozens of city officials. Earlier raids revealed that he owned three houses and seventeen luxury cars with VIP number plates, according to the Central Bureau of Investigation, the Indian equivalent of the FBI. The CBI has also charged five city government officials, prompting calls for the removal of Sheila Dikshit, the veteran Chief Minister of Delhi and a leading member of the Congress party."


Spider monkey hitches plane ride: "An air passenger has been detained at New York airport after being caught with an unusual travelling companion - a spider monkey that he tried to hide under his hat, according to local reports. The New York Times reported that the man boarded a Spirit Airlines flight late Monday in Lima, Peru, bound for New York. The flight crew only noticed the stowaway on the second leg of the journey after a plane change in Florida. Other passengers first noticed the pint-sized primate. "It was clinging to his ponytail underneath his hat," airline spokeswoman Alison Russell said. "How the passenger got through security, I can't begin to say," she told the newspaper. The unidentified man was questioned by federal officers, while his furry friend was handed over to New York officials."




(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:55 PM

 


TITLES OF SOME REALLY SHORT BOOKS

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan -- Illustrated by Michael Moore

MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS & HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA
by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
by Hillary Clinton

Sequel: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill Clinton

MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE
by Osama Bin Laden

AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC

A COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
by Dr. J. Kevorkian

ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE
by Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnell

GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
by Mike Tyson

THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
by O.J. Simpson







THE NEWS

Clever squirrel: "A Finnish squirrel with a sweet tooth heads to a Finnish grocery shop at least twice a day to steal "Kinder Surprise" chocolate-shelled eggs. "I named it the Kinder-squirrel, after the treats. It always goes after them, other sweets do not seem to interest it as much," the manager of the store in Jyvaskyla, central Finland, told Reuters. The confectionary, which is intended for children, has a toy inside. "It removes the foil carefully, eats the chocolate and leaves the store with the toy," Irene Lindroos said. Unfortunately, the bushy-tailed thief does not clean up after itself, but leaves the wrappers behind, she added. Squirrels have a well deserved reputation for being clever and adaptable animals. Many a home owner has seen the small rodents raiding their supposedly "squirrel-proof" bird feeders"


Put a mothball in your tank: "One of the secret ingredients in a fuel pill can be revealed - and it's the same compound used in mothballs. The pills, which promise to improve fuel consumption and reduce harmful emissions when added to a tank of fuel, are marketed by Firepower. Investigations by the Herald have led to three inquiries into Firepower. Now independent university tests carried out for the Herald reveal what goes into the company's most high-profile product, the Firepower Pill. One of the main ingredients in the Western Force-branded pill is a naphthalene compound, a toxin with the familiar smell once found in sock drawers. Naphthalene mothballs have been used by car enthusiasts as a homemade octane booster for decades. The practice was common enough that the television program Mythbusters gave it a try in 2004. But scientists warn that too many mothballs will load up an engine with carbon deposits and lead to poor performance.... the tests revealed another controversial ingredient - a metallic compound called ferrocene. It is also well known to the fuel industry and has been used, mainly in Russia and China, as an octane booster to replace lead. The International Organisation for Standardisation, which sets the global standards for fuel, recommends ferrocene not be used in fuel as it causes iron deposits to build up on spark plugs over distances as little as 5000 kilometres, causing misfiring engines and bad acceleration."


Thai cops punished by Hello Kitty: ""Police chiefs in Bangkok have come up with a new way of punishing officers who break the rules -- an eye-catching Hello Kitty armband. The armband is large, bright pink and has a Hello Kitty motif with two hearts embroidered on it. From today, officers who are late, park in the wrong place or commit other minor transgressions will have to wear it for several days, reports the BBC. The armband is designed to shame the wearer, police officials said."




Real-life Jetsons: "Company founder Dr Paul Moller said the craft was "the ultimate off-road vehicle" because it can travel over any surface. "It's not a hovercraft, although its operation is just as easy. You can speed over rocks, swampland, fences, or log-infested waterways with ease because you're not limited by the surface." The flying saucer is governed by computers to fly at a maximum altitude of three metres so that it doesn't require registration as an aircraft. That enables it to sit on a cushion of air and travel at 80kph in any direction. The craft are powered by eight rotary engines, each driving an enclosed fan to produce lift. It can still hover if one engine fails while a second failure "will lead to a survivable hard landing." Moller, which has been researching a variety of flying cars since the 1960s, is expecting the M200G to be available to buy from next year. Initially, the flying saucer will cost around $146,000 but the price might fall further with mass production."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 4:13 PM

 


Penguins Go to the Zoo

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"

The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."

The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo." "Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.

The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.

"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo." "Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."







THE NEWS

Man slices off thumb while practicing martial arts: "A man has severed his thumb with a sword while practising martial arts with another man in Sydney's inner west. The 28-year-old man sliced off his thumb outside an apartment complex in Brown St, Ashfield, about 11.30pm (AEST) yesterday, police said. He was treated by ambulance officers before being taken to Sydney Hospital. Doctors reattached the thumb during emergency surgery, police said. Another man, who was present during the incident, was questioned by police and later released."


Amazing British bungling: "British Airways has been forced to fly jumbo jets full of lost baggage to the US in an attempt to reunite passengers with their belongings. The airline has confirmed that up to ten baggage flights have left London for New York in the past two months. The Association of European Airlines said last week that BA was the worst large carrier in Europe for losing bags, with one in 36 passengers affected. The special flights were used by BA to clear a backlog of 22,000 items of luggage that were not transported on flights with their owners. The airline has also trucked baggage to Milan for sorting and is using vans to deliver lost baggage to passengers who live in other parts of Europe. When contacted by The Times, BA initially denied that it was operating baggage-only flights to New York. But Willie Walsh, the chief executive, confirmed their use on Friday. He blamed a faulty conveyor belt that takes bags from Terminal 1 to Terminal 4 at Heathrow for creating the backlog, which has been building up since June. A lack of baggage handlers has also contributed to the problem. The airline has used volunteer office staff and workers from Gatwick."


Bigamous Lesbian: "A British mother of five who entered into a civil partnership with a woman while still married to her husband was given a suspended prison sentence overnight. Suzanne Mitchell had pleaded guilty at an earlier hearing to breaching the 2004 Civil Partnerships Act, which allows same-sex unions. She admitted falsely claiming to be single to enter into a civil union with Caroline Beddows in February last year. The case is believed to be the first of its kind since the civil partnership law was introduced. At Shrewsbury Crown Court, Judge Robin Onions said Mitchell repeatedly lied in pursuit of the partnership, and her offence was one of "cruelty and deception", according to media reports. Mitchell, of Ditherington, Shrewsbury, was handed an eight-month prison sentence suspended for two years. Mitchell, who is pregnant with her sixth child, was also ordered to do 100 hours of unpaid community service, and was made the subject of a two-year supervision order. The court had heard that Mitchell and Beddows became close friends after a chance encounter at a bus stop while both were pregnant, according to media reports"


Police arrest blind man driving car: "Police in the Baltic state of Estonia stopped a man who was driving erratically at the weekend, only to find he was blind. The 20-year-old was driving in the southern city of Tartu early on Sunday - helped by instructions from his 16-year-old passenger. "At first they thought he was just drunk, but the man kept missing the tube for the breath test, then they realised he was blind" and arrested him, Tartu Police spokeswoman Marge Kohtla said."




(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 2:38 PM

 


SEEING EYE DOGS

Two guys were walking their dogs and came across a bar. Since they were hot and tired from walking the dogs they decided to go in and have a drink. Unfortunately, the bar didn't allow dogs. There was no place to safely secure the dogs, so they started thinking of ideas to get in the bar. Then one of the guys had an idea.

"Just watch me and follow my lead," he said.

He walked into the bar with his dog and the bartender stopped and said to him, "I'm sorry but I can't let you in here."

The guy looked at the bartender and asked, "Why not?"

The bartender replied, "Well, we don't allow dogs into the bar."

"But this is my seeing eye dog," the guy said.

"Oh, I'm sorry sir come on in, and by the way, nice golden retriever."

The guy went into the bar and the second guy walked in with his dog. The bartender stopped him and told him he can't let him in. When asked why not the bartender replied that you cannot have dogs in his bar.

"But this is my seeing eye dog," said the second guy.

The bartender looked at the man and then looked at the dog. After a while he said, "Sir, ah... um... a Chihuahua?"

The man looked a little puzzled and then said, "What? They gave me a Chihuahua?"







THE NEWS

Lost boy floats for six hours on Dead Sea: "An 8-year-old boy has stunned rescuers by floating for six hours on the surface of the Dead Sea at night and alone after his father apparently forgot about him during a family trip. A large scale search involving police helicopters and volunteers in boats finally found Shneur Zalman Friedman, from Jerusalem, about 3.2km from the shore early on August 3, the Associated Press reported. The strong-smelling, corrosive water of Dead Sea - the lowest point on earth - has an abnormally high salt concentration that allows swimmers to float on the surface. Rescue workers said Shneur had been swimming in the sea with his father and two brothers on the evening of Aug. 2 when he was swept away from shore - without anyone else noticing. A police spokesman, Micky Rosenfeld, said Shneur's family was part of a large group at a beach reserved for ultra-Orthodox Jewish men - who don't bathe in the presence of women - away from public areas. Shneur's father left the water with others from the group and only noticed his son was missing as darkness fell, said Rosenberg. The boy told his rescuers he stayed calm throughout the night, praying and thinking of his schoolmates as he floated in the darkness. He was frightened and dehydrated but otherwise uninjured. "The boy said that he didn't try to swim, he just drifted with the current," Rosenfeld said."


Sheep baa'd in sex case: "A man who was accused of having sex with a sheep has walked free because the animal was unable to testify. The man, from Haaksbergen, near Utrecht in the Netherlands, was reported to police after a farmer caught him having sex with a sheep. But the case was thrown out of court as the sheep couldn't take to the stand to testify that it didn't want to have sex and had suffered emotional stress. Under Dutch law, bestiality is not a crime unless it can be proved the animal didn't want to have sex. "Short of putting the sheep in the dock, at the moment these perverts cannot be prosecuted," animal rights campaigner Jos van Huisen said."




The last of the line: "The last surviving British three-masted wooden trading schooner has been put up for sale with a price tag of 3.5 million pounds. The Kathleen & May, which was built in 1900, has already attracted interest from around the world. In her heyday she was used as a trading ship, transporting cargo around the British Isles. Steve Clarke, from Bideford, Devon, rescued the ship from Gloucester docks, where she lay rotting, in 1998. But after spending œ2 million on refurbishing her, he says he has been forced to sell because he can no longer finance her upkeep."


Crawling pays: "Flattery will get you everywhere, including on the boards of some publicly held companies. That's the major finding of a study of 760 outside directors published in the April-May issue of the Academy of Management Journal. The study involved board members at 300 large and midsize corporations randomly selected from "a popular index." After creating a profile for each director, Westphal and Stern tracked the group for 12 months to see how they fared. The most frequent flatterers, it turned out, got the most seats on other boards--specifically at companies where their original board mates served as CEOs or on board nominating committees. "Ingratiation had the strongest effect," says Westphal, who adds that he was "surprised" it outranked advice and counsel as an influence. "We hypothesized that ingratiation would have some effect," he says, "but didn't think the magnitude would be as much as it was."


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 3:03 PM

 


I Like Your Thinking

A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.

"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking."

Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."






THE NEWS



Mini submarine pulled from NY harbour: "New York police have discovered a submersible floating in the East River near a docked cruise ship and detained three men in what they said was not a terrorist-related incident. The partially submerged spherical sub and a small inflatable boat were spotted approaching a security zone around the Queen Mary 2, which is docked at the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal between the boroughs of Manhattan and Brooklyn. Terrorism was not suspected, according to a police spokeswoman who did not give her name. A police statement said there were two men on the inflatable boat and a third inside "a partially submerged vessel that appeared to be designed for underwater navigation." "All three males are expected to be charged with a number of violations and both vessels will be secured by the Harbor Unit," it said. The submersible had a small round hatch on top and appeared to be a replica of the Turtle, an early submarine used in the US Revolutionary War."


Calcutta thief forced to eat 40 bananas: "Indian police forced a thief to gobble down 40 bananas in a few hours, hoping they would force him to excrete a gold necklace he had snatched and swallowed. Sheikh Mohsin, 35, grabbed the 45,000-rupee ($1300) necklace from a woman in the eastern city of Kolkata on Friday and popped it into his mouth when police and local residents caught him. "He denied swallowing it at all, but an X-ray conducted in a hospital revealed the necklace was very much in his stomach," Ajay Kumar, a leading city detective, told Reuters. "Doctors advised us to feed him with bananas as it worked like a natural purgative," another officer said, trying to keep awake after staying up all night monitoring Mohsin's motions. Mohsin visited the lavatory three times early yesterday and was also forced to vomit but the necklace has failed to appear. "We will have to look for other stronger purgatives now," the yawning police officer added."


Thief stripped during robbery: "A thief lost almost all of his clothes when he robbed a shop on Brisbane's northside early today. Armed with a small knife, the man entered the 7-Eleven store on Kingsford Smith Drive, Hamilton, and demanded money from the shop attendant. He jumped the counter and stole cigarettes after the attendant fled the store. But, the shop attendant returned, armed with a mop and aided by a customer. He struggled with the offender, removing the man's blue jumper and t-shirt in the process. The hapless thief then fled the store, chased down by the pair who managed to grab his shoes and singlet before the thief again escaped. The man was last seen fleeing with nothing but his light blue jeans on".


Georgia. Paid ticket not enough: "A high school student returning home from a European soccer trip got a different welcome than he expected: He was jailed for eight hours over a ticket he had already paid. Customs officials at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport checked Stephen Kelsey's passport Monday and found an arrest warrant for failure to appear in court on a ticket given for rolling through a stop sign. Even though he had already paid the $175 fine, the 17-year-old was taken to the Fulton County jail. "Somebody made a mistake, and here I am having to be handcuffed in front of my coaches, my mom, my brother and my teammates," Kelsey said. The arresting officer told Kelsey's mother, Marlene Kelsey, to call officials in Sandy Springs, where the arrest warrant had been issued. The police department there admitted it was at fault and called the Fulton County jail to tell officials to release her son, said Sandy Springs Lt. Steve Rose. Meanwhile, the teen had to share a cell with 30 men. "Most of the guys were cracked out," he said. "I sat next to a guy who talked for 45 minutes to an imaginary friend." Kelsey, who had been returning from a trip to London and Madrid, Spain, was released early Tuesday. "For something so minor, who would have believed all this?" Marlene Kelsey said.


(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 6:38 PM

 


Fertility blues

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?" "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat" After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun You can really spread out there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

"Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look"

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"

"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."

Mrs. Smith fainted!!





THE NEWS



Top Australian politician cracks the whip for a kinky blonde: "It must be an election year - Deputy Prime Minister Mark Vaile has appeared on TV with a whip in his hand and a blonde urging him to "beat me, beat me". Mr Vaile, the Nationals leader, became the latest of a long list of politicians to reveal their personal side on Channel 9's Mornings with Kerri-Anne show. The flirty Kennerley already has a number of senior political scalps on her designer belt. Treasurer Peter Costello danced the macarena and cracked jokes as a python entered his pocket. Labor leader Kevin Rudd was coaxed into dancing the salsa, and Workplace Relations Minister Joe Hockey spiced up the industrial relations debate by wearing Shrek ears and speaking like the cartoon ogre. But Kennerley excelled herself when Mr Vaile, a former stock and station agent, produced a whip and recalled his time as Nationals' whip in parliament - a job that entails rounding up party members for a vote. She encouraged him to crack the whip in the studio, which he did. "I want to see you do your thing. Please do. Anywhere you like Mark Vaile," she said. "Beat me, beat me." A compliant Mr Vaile cracked the whip several times. "I've got to spend a bit more time on the land," Kennerley said."


Swedish DA wants to ban alcohol on flights to Sweden: "Apparently America is not alone in suffering from a plague of showboating, overreaching prosecutors. A Swedish district attorney is evidently seeking to ban alcohol from being served on flights within and to Sweden, as a countermeasure to incidents of drunk and disorderly passengers. I have never flown into Sweden, but I took the ferry there in days of yore, and remember the Swedes buying tax-free alcohol in a stampede and drinking up at the ship's bar, because alcohol taxes are so damn high at home. It would not in the least surprise me if Swedes tend to look upon free (or even paid drinks in coach) booze on board as a rare and precious opportunity to get tanked without taking out a second mortgage. High alcohol taxes and binge drinking when they are absent does not seem to me to be the healthiest way to encourage people to drink responsibly. But the nanny state impulse is powerful in Sweden, and high taxes are a way of life. So I suppose the DA ("riksadvokaten") may some day get his way."


No secrets in Italian cars: "People having an affair in Italy would be well advised in future not to use their car for illicit assignations. An Italian judge yesterday ruled that wives or husbands who suspect marital infidelity are entitled under the law to bug their spouse's car in the search for incriminating evidence. The ruling arose in Brescia, northern Italy, where a private detective agency specialising in infidelity cases offered to plant hidden microphones and satellite tracking devices "in a couple of hours" in the cars of suspected spouses, at a cost of up to 1,500 euros. After some of the devices were found police charged 22 people - including private detectives and mechanics as well as the jealous spouses - with "invasion of privacy". Yesterday, however, Lorenzo Benini, a judge in Brescia, ruled that to plant bugging devices in a car was "not a criminal offence".


Those who can do and those who can't teach: "A Tasmanian expert in family conflict resolution flew into a rage and murdered his elderly parents with an axe after his mother laughed about the death of his cat, a court was told yesterday. Stephen Alexander Harper, 44, pleaded guilty in the Supreme Court in Launceston to murdering Roderick and Helen Harper, who were aged 88 and 77, in August last year. The bearded and ponytailed Harper sat emotionless in court as the facts were read out. Crown prosecutor John Ransom said psychologist Harper had "snapped" when his mother laughed as he told her his cat Tootie had died that day. Harper, who lived in a garage at the back of his parents' home in Abbott St, Launceston, suspected that his mother had poisoned the cat, which had gone into spasms and died in his arms."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 10:58 AM

 


OLDSTER DISCOVERS A CONSPIRACY

A conspiracy Right here in our country. THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR COUNTRY! We Must Stop This Immediately!

Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognise me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection. Well, REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the motorway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilised these days. Why else would they suddenly start labelling a size 10 or 12 garment as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices?

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too; they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!

All I can do is pass along this warning: WE ARE UNDER ATTACK! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.







THE NEWS



Boxing beetles face off: "They're hardly cuddly pets, but for Japanese boys like Yoshiaki Handa, beetles have the right stuff. "I like them because they are strong fighters," said nine-year-old Handa, petting his favourite beetle on the palm of his hand as it readied to do battle in a "Kid's Beetle King" boxing tournament held in Tokyo today. Rhino beetles -- which look like miniature tanks with a horn -- are popular pets among Japanese boys, many of whom catch and collect them on lazy summer days, breed them and even put them in a ring for a round of beetle boxing. At today's event, a race among contenders eliminated the slow and the weak. Then about 15 "beetle boxers" took part in the final round -- some needing to be coaxed into battle by their young owners, while others attacked their rivals on their own. Some ardent beetle fans have even turned to imports in a search for bigger and stronger breeds. There's no official data on how many beetles are imported to Japan, but the number of beetles inspected at Japanese airports has quadrupled since 2000, according to the agriculture ministry, and beetle shops are doing brisk business."


Australia: 'Too potent' erection pill recalled: "Batches of sex-enhancing pills could cause "serious health consequences" after it was discovered they contained traces of a powerful "weekend erection" pill. A recall has been issued for batches of the "Top Gun for Men Herbal Extracts" pills after it was discovered to contain compound similar to the erection-enhancing drug Tadalafil. Tadalafil [Cialis] is commonly referred to the "weekend pill", due to its long-lasting effect on men. It is a prescription-only erectile dysfunction drug. According to Top Gun's manufacturer, Sydney-based La Viva Blue, anyone who bought the product should not use it. "(Taking the product) could give rise to serious health consequences, especially for patients with existing medical conditions such as heart problems or persons at risk of stroke," La Viva Blue said in a statement. "Anyone who is concerned in any way about the use of this product should consult their doctor." The company said a full refund would be given to purchasers of the affected products, which have an expiry date of December 2008. It is the second discovery of a herbal sexual-enhancement product containing potent erectile-dysfunction chemicals this year. In April, it was revealed that "Excite for Women" and "Ultimates for Men" - both "natural" products - contained the active ingredient in Viagra"




A big dog worth half a million: "Forget Louis Vuitton handbags or Prada suits - the latest must-have accessory for China's wealthy elite comes not from the chic designer stores of Shanghai or Beijing but from the plains of Tibet. The Tibetan mastiff, a rare, ancient and now extravagantly expensive breed of dog, has captivated those seeking to display their new-found affluence in a country experiencing a dizzying economic boom. China has been in the grip of a fad for all things Tibetan since the opening last year of the world's highest railway linking Beijing and Lhasa. That has fuelled the soaring price of mastiffs, with a perfect specimen now fetching as much as $594,000 - up from just under 100 in the late 1990s. These huge animals, weighing up to 113kg, are adapted to life in the thin air, freezing temperatures and wild mountains of Tibet, where they were domesticated 6000 years ago, and are regarded as the oldest, biggest and fiercest domestic dog. Marco Polo described the mastiff as being as tall as a donkey and with a voice like a lion."


Mom cuts off 61-year-old son's allowance: "A Sicilian mother took away her 61-year-old son's house keys, cut off his allowance and hauled him to the police station because he stayed out late. Tired of her son's misbehaviour, the pensioner in the central Sicilian city of Caltagirone turned to the police to “convince this blockhead” to behave properly, La Sicilia, one of Sicily's leading newspapers, reported yesterday. The son responded by saying his mother did not give him a big enough weekly allowance and did not know how to cook. “My son does not respect me. He doesn't tell me where he's going in the evenings and returns home late,” the woman said. “He is never happy with the food I make and always complains. This can't go on.” Police helped the squabbling duo make up and the two returned home together, with the son's house keys and daily allowance restored. Most Italian men still live at home late into their 30s, enjoying their “mamma's” cooking, washing and ironing."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 4:38 PM

 


Real Americans

A Somali arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!"

The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican."

The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America!" The person says," I not American, I Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful America!" That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East, I am not American!"

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?" She says,"No, I am from Africa!!

Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"

The African lady checks her watch and says..."Probably at work."







THE NEWS

Lottery player wins twice by mistake: "A British lottery winner doubled his share of the jackpot to nearly œ1 million ($2.4 million) after discovering he mistakenly bought two lucky tickets for the same draw. Derek Ladner, 57, from Cornwall, and his wife Dawn, 60, won with their usual numbers in the mid-week draw, sharing the 2.4 million pounds ($5 million) jackpot with four other tickets. A week later, he found a second identical ticket in his wallet and realised he had absent-mindedly entered twice. Their double-share of the jackpot is worth just under a million pounds. The pair have handed in their notice at work and are taking a break to decide how to spend their windfall. "It's beginning to sink in," Mr Ladner told a news conference today. "We are going on holiday first...and then think about what we are going to do for the rest of our lives." [They'll be broke again within 5 years]


Zimbabwe prints 200,000-dollar-note: "Zimbabwe's central bank unveiled a new 200,000-dollar note yesterday, double the face value of what had been the highest denomination note in a country where bundles of notes are needed for the simplest transactions. The Reserve Bank said in a statement that circulation of the new 200,000-Zimbabwe-dollar note was for "convenience" in business and individual transactions. The note is worth $US13 at the official exchange rate or $US1 at the dominant illegal black market rate. With five notes a Zimbabwean millionaire can buy a handful of scarce food items. Runaway inflation has led to bundles of notes being needed for routine purchases. Few businesses or even government departments, including the tax office, accept cheques, demanding cash or same-day bank-to-bank transfers, for fear the value of the currency will plummet even further before cheques can clear.




'When you eat it, it's like dying': "India - The farmer, a quiet man with an easy smile, has spent a lifetime eating a chilli pepper with a strange name and a vicious bite. His mother stirred them into sauces. His wife puts them out for dinner raw, blood-red morsels of pain to be nibbled - carefully, very carefully - with whatever she's serving. Around here, in the hills of northeastern India, it's called the "bhut jolokia" - the "ghost chilli." Anyone who has tried it, they say, could end up an apparition. "It is so hot you can't even imagine," said the farmer, Digonta Saikia, working in his fields in the midday sun, his face nearly invisible behind an enormous straw hat. "When you eat it, it's like dying." Outsiders, he insisted, shouldn't even try it. "If you eat one," he told a visitor, "you will not be able to leave this place." The rest of the world, though, should prepare itself. Because in this remote Indian region facing bloody insurgencies, widespread poverty and a major industry - tea farming - in deep decline, hope has come in the form of this thumb-sized chilli pepper with frightening potency and a superlative rating: the spiciest chilli in the world. A few months ago, Guinness World Records made it official. The smallest morsels can flavour a sauce so intensely it's barely edible. Eating a raw sliver causes watering eyes and a runny nose. An entire chilli is an all-out assault on the senses, akin to swigging a cocktail of battery acid and glass shards."


Panda poo souvenirs: "Nothing says "I love you" like a photo frame made from panda poo. The Chengdu Giant Panda Breeding Base has come up with a dung-for-profit scheme that turns droppings from the endangered species into odourless souvenirs ranging from bookmarks to Olympic-themed statues of the animals. The facility in the southwestern province of Sichuan houses about 40 bamboo-fed pandas who produce almost a tonne of excrement a day. "We used to spend at least 6000 yuan ($900) a month to get rid of the droppings but now they can be lucrative," Jing Shimin, assistant to the base director, was quoted by the official Xinhua News Agency. The products will be made at a local handicraft company mostly from undigested bamboo culled from the panda waste through a special process, Xinhua said. An official at the Chengdu facility said the dung is "carefully selected, smashed, dried and sterilised at 300 degrees celsius". He said the products would be of all colours because they will be dyed. "They don't smell too bad because 70 per cent of the dung is just remains of the bamboo that the pandas are unable to digest," Jing said."


Australia: Ham-handed robbers: "Two men carrying knives robbed a Melbourne pizza restaurant last night, only to drop the stolen cash on the way to their getaway car. The men entered the Burwood Highway store in Burwood East just after 11pm (AEST) as it was closing for the night, police said. After jumping the counter, the men demanded cash from the store attendant, who handed over money from the register. But the men dropped a large portion of the money, possibly the lot, on the ground between the shop and their car, police said."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 12:08 PM

 



The British dilemma









THE NEWS

Lust, not love, the driving factor behind sex: "Researchers in the US have found that the motivation for having sex is largely the same for men and women, seemingly shattering the myth that the genders have different reasons for racing to the bedroom. The researchers compiled a list of 237 reasons given by US college students for getting frisky - and the top reasons for men and women were more to do with lust than a deep love connection. The findings would apparently contradict the assumption by some that it is only men who are motivated by lust, whereas women only want sex as an expression of a deep emotional feeling.


Zookeeper killed, forgot to lock up tiger: "A zookeeper in China was killed when he forgot to move a tiger out of its cage before going in to clean it. Police shot the tiger dead after discovering the zoo's only tranquilliser gun was also inside the cage in the city of Xinyi, in eastern China's Jiangsu province, Xinhua news agency reported today. Zhang, a keeper in his 60s, drove a tiger into an inner cage before entering the outer cage at the zoo in a park, colleagues said. But he forgot about the other tiger who shared the outer cage. Police evacuated tourists and park workers after Zhang was mauled on Monday. China has only about 30 tigers in the wild but keeps more than 5000 in several commercial breeding farms around the country. Local zoos are often poorly managed. In May this year, a zookeeper was killed while cleaning a tiger's cage on the island province of Hainan. In February, a tiger killed a six-year-old girl waiting to have her picture taken with the animal at a zoo in southwest China. Two months later, crocodiles devoured a nine-year-old child who, along three school friends, had climbed into an enclosure at a holiday park and taunted the reptiles with sticks and catapults."


Laser printers bad as smoking: "The office printer may be as dangerous to the lungs as smoking, according to air quality tests. Queensland University of Technology International Laboratory for Air Quality and Health scientists studied dozens of laser printers and said almost 30 per cent emitted potentially dangerous levels of ultra-fine particles capable of infiltrating the lungs and causing lasting damage on the scale of inhaled cigarette smoke. QUT professor Lidia Morawska said: "Ultra-fine particles are of most concern because they can penetrate deep into the lungs. These (printer) particles are tiny like cigarette-smoke particles and, when deep inside the lung, they do the same amount of damage. The health effects from inhaling ultra-fine particles . . . can range from respiratory irritation to more severe illness such as cardiovascular problems or cancer." The results are published in the American Chemical Society's Environmental Science and Technology Journal. The researchers advised good office ventilation to allow the airborne particles to disperse."




Elderly bird: "A puffin recaptured by ringers was found to be at least 34 years old, making it the oldest in Britain and only a year short of being the oldest known puffin in the world - currently an Icelandic bird. The puffin, nicknamed Percy, was first ringed on Sule Skerry, 40 miles west of Orkney, in July 1975, when it was at least two years old. Last week it was recaptured at the same spot. Adrian Blackburn, of the Sule Skerry Ringing Group, said: "The fact that it's been caught on this island means it is probably attempting to raise a family, so it's showing no signs of slowing down."


Greek tourists the crookedest: "New York City is selling money collected from parking meters - 227 kilograms of foreign coins that faked their way into the machines this year. "We have pretty much every denomination from every continent," said Anthony Alfano, the city's deputy chief of meter collections. The most common coins were Greek drachmas, he said. The Department of Transportation, which makes about $US90 million from parking meters annually, has collected bids for the foreign coins and plans to announce the best offer. About a decade ago, the agency decided to sell foreign coins it collected because it was impractical to exchange them for US currency. In previous years, selling the coins has netted the department between $US2 to $US4 a pound (0.45kg)."



(And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go)


posted by bussorah at 2:40 PM