Good thinking

A Dutch firm has been hired to manage the International Arrivals Building at New York's John F. Kennedy Airport:

The tile under the urinals in the Arrivals Building has that familiar lemony tinge; rubber soles stick to it. Over in Amsterdam, the tile under Schiphol's urinals would pass inspection in an operating room. But nobody notices. What everybody does notice is that each urinal has a fly in it. Look harder, and the fly turns into the black outline of a fly, etched into the porcelain.

"It improves the aim," says Aad Kieboom. "If a man sees a fly, he aims at it." Mr. Kieboom, an economist, directs Schiphol's own building expansion. His staff conducted fly-in-urinal trials and found that etchings reduce spillage by 80%. The Dutch will transfer the technology to New York.

"We will put flies in the urinals yes," Jan Jansen says in a back office at the Arrivals Building. He is the new Dutch general manager, the boss as of noon today. "It gives a guy something to think about. That's the perfect example of process control."

But a spokesperson for Rudy Guiliani, Mayor of New York, was heard to say, "What do we need with Dutch flies when we have more than enough roaches to piss on?"




Logic

A judge was punishing three men because they had committed a crime. Their sentence was a few years in the desert. He said that they could each take one thing with them.

The first guy decides to take an umbrella, so that he can have shade whenever he wants.

The second guy decides to take a water bottle so that he won't get thirsty.

Finally, the third guy decides to take a car door.

The judge asked, "Why in the world would you want to take a car door?" The man replies, "Just in case it gets hot, I can roll down the window."






THE NEWS

British Bank 'accidentally' debits man $200bn: "A British man was left in major shock when his bank statement showed him to be 100 billion pounds overdrawn. As if the credit crunch was not hitting Britons hard enough, Donald Moffat was temporarily in deep, deep, deep financial trouble - due to a "technical error''. The 38-year-old, from Irvine on Scotland's east coast, said his wife noticed the somewhat "major discrepancy of two 50-billion debits'' after he logged on to his account online. "When I saw it - I've been shaking, I've been feeling sick - everything,'' the stunned student and part-time care worker told the BBC. "We knew we still had quite a bit left in the account as we checked last night before we went out. "This morning I went out to get a few things then, when I came back, my account was overdrawn by that amount.'' Barclays bank said in a statement: "A technical error caused some customer accounts to be incorrectly debited. "The problem was immediately identified and corrected within less than an hour, and all affected customer accounts are now showing correct balances".


"What are you doing here?" man asks wife at brothel: "A Polish man got the shock of his life when he visited a brothel and spotted his wife among the establishment's employees. Polish tabloid Super Express said the woman had been making some extra money on the side while telling her husband she worked at a store in a nearby town. "I was dumbfounded. I thought I was dreaming," the husband told the newspaper on Wednesday. The couple, married for 14 years, are now divorcing, the newspaper reported".


An underage 60-year-old? "Utah's stiff liquor laws and crack-on-the-head polices for violators can create a Catch-22 for restaurant owners who invest millions into their business, no matter how hard they try to avoid mistakes. Last Monday, a couple who went into the newly opened Iggy's Sports Grill in Centerville for dinner and drinks walked out in a huff without ordering after the woman was denied ordering a cocktail because she hadn't brought her purse and couldn't produce ID to prove she was of age. She is 60 years old. But here is the restaurant's dilemma. The owner of the Iggy's chain lost about $200,000 in potential sales in November because the Alcohol Beverage Control Commission imposed a two-week delay for the opening of the Centerville Iggy's because an Iggy's waiter in St. George served a beer to an underage decoy seven months earlier."


A careless mother who relied on the kindness of strangers: "An off-duty surf lifesaver [lifeguard] who helped resuscitate a woman, 28, on Boxing Day saved the life of a two-year-old girl who was found floating face down at a beach on the South Coast last night. The near drowning occurred on the same day a surfer, 40, died after hitting his head on an underwater rock or sandbar on the Central Coast. The unconscious toddler was spotted in the water about 6pm yesterday at an unpatrolled beach at Tomakin, south of Batemans Bay. Her skin had turned a pale blue colour by the time the lifesaver reached her. "She literally hit the child on the back and cleared the airways, and the child started breathing on her own," said Andrew Edmunds, of the Far South Coast branch of Surf Life Saving NSW. He said the lifesaver also removed the girl's four-year-old sibling from the water while their mother was believed to be elsewhere on the beach."



And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 2:40 PM

 


Notice something unusual?



They are the finalists in an Australian beauty contest. And they look normal! They are not the bony stick insects who normally pass as beautiful in the media. Background here





THE NEWS

Bank robber leaves behind name and address: "A US man allegedly robbed a Chicago bank using a threatening note written on the back of his pay slip, which was printed with his name and home address. Thomas Infante of Cary, 40, Illinois, walked into a Fifth Third Bank at 5.50pm on Friday and handed a teller a note that read "Be Quick Be Quit (sic). Give your cash or I'll shoot", according to an FBI affidavit filed on Monday. The teller gave the man about $US400. The robber left behind his demand note, written on a torn half of the pay slip. Investigators found the other half of the note - with Infante's name and home address - outside the bank's front doors. The pay stub showed Infante was paid $US165.99 by Jewel Food Stores on October 23, the FBI said. "It's fairly unusual that we see something that specifically stupid," FBI spokesman Ross Rice said. Infante was arrested at his home and later admitted the robbery, the FBI affidavit said."


Smoking is often a very powerful addiction in China: "A chronic smoker blew himself up when he lit a cigarette while using an oxygen ventilator to help him breathe. The 75-year-old man was admitted to the Prince of Wales Hospital in Hong Kong on Sunday with severe facial burns after lighting up in his home while the ventilator's plastic tubes were still running to his nose. The man relies suffers from lung disease, caused by his smoking, and relies on the oxygen tank to stay alive. The South China Morning Post reported the man's doctor said the man knew he shouldn't smoke while the ventilator was going, but took the risk because his cigarette craving was so intense."




Rebirth for quirky old French bike: "If you want to turn heads with your wheels in Paris you don't have to splash out on a flashy car. Lately I've noticed people drawing looks when they ride by on new Solex bikes. For those who weren't around France before the 1990s, the Solex was a funny little motorised cycle that enjoyed immense popularity as cheap transport. Its quirkiest feature was the little petrol engine perched above the front wheel. When it was engaged, a disk on the motor rubbed against the bike wheel, giving it power. They made a noisy buzz while proceeding at a few miles per hour. The Solex, affectionately known as the Soufflex (roughly puffer), was a symbol of the post-war era like the 2CV Citroen or the bulbous Orangina bottle. To use the usual clich‚, it was a true Gallic icon. It was ridden by rural shop-keepers and Paris students and it featured in films with Brigitte Bardot, Catherine Deneuve and Jacques Tati. Steve McQueen rode one when he was in France making Le Mans in 1971. Between 1946 and 1988 Solex sold more than eight million of the "bicycle that goes by itself," as its 1960s adverts called it."




A Japanese response to the financial crisis: "Concocting a gadget for every occasion is nothing new in Japan - electronic gizmos have been drafted into the retail scene to combat everything from the demographic timebomb to an obsession with the supernatural - but now, as recession sweeps through the economy, mauling exports and plunging once-mighty companies into the red, the gadgetry has been tailored to suit what the Japanese Government has called an "unprecedented financial crisis" and an emerging national mood of intense parsimony and thrift. TaxiWalker offers the newly penniless Japanese "salaryman" all the nostalgic fun of having enough money to go everywhere in a taxi, but without the driver, the car or the expense. Based on a simple pedometer, the device attaches to an ordinary belt and measures the number of steps taken by its owner and the distance that he or she has walked. The machine is precisely calibrated to reflect the fare scheme charged by an official Tokyo taxicab: Y710 (œ5.30) for the first two kilometres and a further Y90 for every additional 280 metres travelled. Night-time surcharges apply. The idea is to offer the growing ranks of embittered pedestrians an accurate sense of how much money they are saving through their daily trudgings"



And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 10:55 PM

 


Divided by a common language

American language as observed by a Brit

Michelle Obama just sent me an email wishing me "Happy Holidays" and asking me to give money "to causes that are especially meaningful to me and my family" (food banks and deployed troops - not the Obama campaign this time). She doesn't mention Christmas at all, instead talking vaguely of "a time to celebrate our blessings, the new year, and a new era for our country". The term "Happy Holidays" is certainly one that grates on this British ear and I confess it's not the only one. Every day, I have to navigate the common language which, as George Bernard Shaw put it, divides our two nations.

But I don't mean simple Americanisms like stroller (pushchair), diaper (nappy), ladybug (ladybird), Mom (Mum), entree (main course), Santa (Father Christmas), takeout (takeaway), pre-owned (secondhand), mad (angry), chill (calm down), Santa (Father Christmas) etc etc but the phrases that really make you want to go postal. Here are the top 10 that, after nearly seven years here, infuriate me most:

1. "Happy Holidays."
Translation: "Merry Christmas but I realise you might be Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, Bahai, something even more exotic, agnostic or Godless and I don't want to offend you."

2. "Have a Nice Day."
Translation: "I would like you to have a pleasant time today" or "I hate you" - or anything in between.

3. "You're welcome."
Translation: Meaningless Pavlovian response to thank you.

4. "Do the math."
Translation: "Work it out yourself, stupid."

5. "Let's visit with each other."
Translation: "We should spend time together."

6. "How are you today?"
Translation: "We mean nothing to each other, but let's pretend."

7. "Good luck with that."Translation: "You have no chance at all."

8. "Oh my gosh!"
Translation: "I fear you may feel that taking the Lord's name in vain is blasphemous."

9. "Can I use your bathroom?"
Translation: "I would like to use your lavatory."

10. "Not so much."
Translation: "That's completely wrong." Used on me in classic fashion by a Clinton aide back in February.

Post above recycled from here . See the original for links etc.




THE NEWS

Stunt to impress girl backfires: "A Swedish man's attempt to impress his date went horribly awry, as he ended up setting himself on fire and going into shock. The 33-year-old man also faces allegations of endangering the public as he recovers from serious burn injuries in a hospital in Vastervik, Sweden, The Local reported. The unidentified man's girlfriend said he was attempting a stunt when he poured gasoline over his arm and set the fuel on fire. "It obviously didn't go well. He burned his arm and other parts of his body and was in a state of shock," Kalmar police spokesperson Reine Johansson said. "Don't ask me what the point of the trick was supposed to be." Police said that the man will likely need specialized care at the burn clinic of Linkoping University Hospital.




A real Aardvark: "Amani is the Detroit Zoo's newest aardvark, born Dec. 8 to mother Rachaael and father Mchimbaji. The zoo is awaiting a DNA test that will conclude the gender. "This baby can only be described as hideously cute," said Scott Carter, director of Conservation and Animal Welfare, in a statement today. "Rachaael is a first-time mother and is showing great maternal instincts." Amani (Swahili for "peace") was born 23 inches long, about 3« pounds and hairless, with ears pointing 4 inches from its head. It has more than doubled in size. Due to the animal's clumsiness and poor eyesight, vets and zookeepers are helping Rachaael raise Amani to prevent injury. Zoo visitors won't get to see Amani until the spring, when it will join the zoo's other aardvarks. The aardvark is an African mammal whose name derives from the Afrikaans word meaning "earth pig." [So they do exist outside telephone directories, crossword puzzles and Scrabble!]?


Tardy air traffic controllers fired after planes left circling: "Five air traffic controllers who were late or absent from work a day after Christmas were suspended after two flights were forced to circle a southern airport because no one was manning the control tower, Philippine civil aviation officials said. A Philippine Airlines jet from Manila with 156 passengers arrived early on Friday morning at Zamboanga city's airport but was forced to circle for nearly 30 minutes before being allowed to land, said Ramon Atilano, PAL's Zamboanga manager. A smaller, Cebu Pacific airline turbo plane from Cebu city that arrived minutes ahead of the PAL flight had to land on its own, Zamboanga airport manager Celso Bayabos said. Bayabos said the tower was not manned for 40 minutes. The Civil Aviation Authority of the Philippines said it has suspended five controllers and ordered an investigation into the incident. Those found liable could face administrative sanctions, it added. It was unclear if they also could face criminal charges."




Purple squirrel baffles experts : "A purple squirrel which appeared at a school has baffled experts who are unable to explain its colour. Teachers and pupils at Meoncross School in Stubbington, Hants, were amazed when they saw the creature through the window during a lesson. Since the squirrel, now nicknamed Pete, was first seen, it has become a regular fixture at the school but no one has been able to say whether the animal has fallen into purple paint, had a run-in with some purple dye, or whether there is another explanation. Dr Mike Edwards, an English teacher, said: "I was sitting in my classroom and looked out the window and saw it sitting on the fence. I had to do a double take. "Since then it's been a bit of a regular at the school - everyone's seen it. "We thought it might have been paint or something but then when you look at it up close, it's an all over coat, not in patches like you'd expect if it had been near some paint. "Its fur actually looks purple all the way through. It's an absolute mystery."



And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 12:34 PM

 


Big neddy



"Bruce" (above) is a Shire horse. Such horses were much used in English agriculture before tractors came along. He is big even by Shire standards, however. Story here





THE NEWS

Britain to get bullet trains -- 60 years after Japan: "The transport minister, Lord Adonis, is proposing a 200mph high-speed rail service modelled on the bullet trains pioneered in Japan in the 1960s. He believes there is a strong case for building a 20 billion pound high-speed line that would cut journey times from London to Manchester, one of Britain's most congested routes, from 2hr 7min to just 80min. The plans have been given impetus by a visit Adonis made with Iain Coucher, the head of Network Rail, to Japan last month. "Britain has a lot to learn from Japan about high-speed rail," the minister said. "In Japan it has been a powerful force for economic regeneration and national pride. It could be the same in Britain." Adonis's comments come ahead of a government report, due to be published in the spring, on the viability of a high-speed rail network in Britain... Ministers want to begin work on the new London to Manchester line as soon as possible so that it can be in place within 15-20 years."


British dogs must not chase and fetch: "Fetch, doggy - but not before listening to some vital safety information. One of Britain's most eminent vets has warned that dogs suffer as many injuries chasing and catching sticks as they do on Britain's roads. Owners are being advised that to protect their pets from accidental stabbing or choking, they should never throw sticks. Instead they should use rubber throwing toys or a suitably sized ball. Dan Brockman, professor of small animal surgery at the Royal Veterinary College, has catalogued dozens of serious injuries and infections, almost all the result of animals being stabbed as they rushed after a sharp stick. "When I see people throwing sticks for their dogs in the park I just get so frustrated," said Brockman. "I want to go and tell them to stop." His new study, co-authored with Zoe Halfacree, a fellow small-animal expert at the college, will detail some of the injuries suffered by pets when a game of fetch goes wrong."


Man shot for talking loudly during Brad Pitt film: "A Philadelphia resident, enraged because a family was talking loudly during a film, threw popcorn at a boy and then shot the youngster's father. James Joseph Cialella Jr, 29, was charged with attempted murder, aggravated assault and weapons violations for shooting another film goer in the left arm, the Philadelphia Inquirer reported. Cialella was furious for being disturbed while watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which stars Brad Pitt and Australia's Cate Blanchett. "It's truly frightening when you see something like this evolve into such violence ... that something like this leads to a shooting in a movie theatre," police spokesman Lieutenant Frank Vanore was quoted as saying. Cialella first asked the talkative family to quieten down and threw popcorn at a boy who was talking to his father. Next, Cialella and the father got into an argument, which turned physical and Cialella whipped out a handgun and shot the man. Police said Cialella returned to his seat and continued watching the film". [A pity this had to happen but it might teach some people consideration for others]


Horse killed with kindness: "A horse has been killed by kindness after well-meaning passers-by fed it Jaffa cakes, dog biscuits and other 'treats'. Kemal the Arabian stallion - a breed renowned for their endurance - was found dead in his stable after his health suddenly deteriorated. The 18-year-old horse had been fit and healthy until his final few weeks. For the last year he had been kept in a field next to a public footpath in West Malling in Kent. Passers-by, probably thinking they were doing a good turn, had been over-feeding the stallion. It wasn't until after Kamal's death that owner Simon North, realised the animal's strictly-controlled diet of herbs and carrots had been interfered with by the well-meaning passers-by."



And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 1:54 PM

 


An American, a Canadian and a Scotsman go to Heaven

On a dark and stormy night, an American, Canadian and a Scot were in a horrible car accident. All three were rushed to the hospital, though all three had died before they arrived.

Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he awoke and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses asked him what had happened.

"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a bright white light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $150 we could return to the earth." He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $150, and the next thing I knew I was back here."

"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"

"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scotsman was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay his."





THE NEWS

Virgin gives birth to Jesus - really: "Virgin Mary, a 20-year-old Peruvian woman, gave birth to a baby boy on Christmas day and named him Jesus, Peru's state news agency reports. The baby's father, Adolfo Jorge Huamani, 24, is a carpenter. Religious Peruvians compared him to Joseph the Carpenter in the Bible. "Two thousand years later the story of Bethlehem is relived," read the headline about the birth in El Comercio, the main newspaper in Peru, a predominantly Catholic country. The mother, Virgen Maria Huarcaya, delivered the 3.5kg boy, Jesus Emanuel, in the early hours of Christmas at the central maternity hospital in Lima, the capital. "A few days ago we had decided to name my son after a professional soccer player," the father said. "But thanks to a happy coincidence this is how things ended up."


Viagra used as CIA 'incentive': "CIA agents are offering the potency drug Viagra and other gifts to win over Afghan warlords in the US-led war against Taliban insurgents, the Washington Post reports. Paying for information is nothing new for the Central Intelligence Agency, but officers have started employing unusual incentives to persuade Afghan local leaders to share intelligence about the Taliban's movements, the Post wrote, citing unnamed sources in the spy service. "Whatever it takes to make friends and influence people - whether it's building a school or handing out Viagra," one CIA operative who has worked in Afghanistan was quoted as saying. CIA agents have offered pocket knives and tools, toys and school equipment, travel visas, medical services including surgeries and sometimes the erectile dysfunction drug Viagra for Afghan chieftains, the paper said. The ageing chieftains often have up to four wives and are open to the Viagra pill as a way to "put them back in an authoritative position". More customary bribes such as cash and weapons can create problems, because guns can fall into the wrong hands and a sudden influx of cash can draw too much attention, agents said. Four Viagra pills transformed the attitude of one influential 60-year-old warlord who had been wary of the United States. "He came up to us beaming," one official told the Post. "And after that we could do whatever we wanted in his area."


Eat your breakfast - or lose your virginity: "People who skip breakfast tend to lose their virginity earlier, according to researchers in Japan. In a study of 3000 people, those who did not regularly eat breakfast in their early teens said they lost their virginity at an average age of 17.5, versus an overall average age of 19 for all Japanese. Those who had a morning meal when they were younger had their first sexual experience at 19.4 years. The study, backed by Japan's health ministry, was aimed at finding ways to curb unwanted pregnancies. It concluded that a stable home life discouraged early sex. "Those unhappy with their parents - such as for not preparing breakfast - may tend to find a way to release their frustration by having sex," said Kunio Kitamura, head of the Japan Family Planning Association who led the research. "If children don't feel comfortable in their family environment, they tend to go out." Young people who start having sex early tended to miss breakfast because they return home late, he said. Japan has one of the world's lowest birthrates as more young people put off starting families, finding them a burden on their careers or lifestyles. The survey also found that nearly 40 per cent of married couples had not had sex in more than a month. Respondents said they were too tired because of work or found sex to be a pain, according to the study."


Aftershave rage: "Anger over a poorly selected Christmas gift landed a man in court yesterday after he slashed his wife's tyres. Danny Flowers, 25, flew into a rage after his "smirking" wife gave him the same brand of aftershave as that worn by his best friend, with whom she had "entered into an adulterous relationship", his solicitor said. Police told Parramatta Bail Court Flowers threatened his wife Kate, saying, "I am going to kill you and myself". Flowers admitted he slashed two tyres on his wife's car. He was bailed to appear in Mt Druitt local court on January 5".




And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 3:59 PM

 


An English TV "personality"

No sign of traditional British reserve below. Times would appear to have changed in Britain. Jodie Marsh is recorded arriving at her recent birthday party








THE NEWS

Festive foods lead to medical folly for the French: "French hospitals are braced for an upsurge in work over the festive period as revellers injure themselves in the annual struggle with two of the country's greatest passions - oysters and foie gras. Hundreds of people inflict serious damage on themselves opening oysters at Christmas and new year, while many others cut themselves trying to open tins of foie gras, doctors say. The wounds, which can result in infection, reduced hand movement or the loss of a finger, often require delicate and expensive surgery. The French Health Surveillance Institute said oyster wounds were "an important public health issue for us". It revealed that 2000 people injure themselves opening oysters every year in France. Forty per cent of the injuries occur in December and January and a quarter between December 24 and January 3. Patrick Houvet, a surgeon at the French Institute for Hand Surgery, said: "In order to open an oyster, you have to cut the very powerful muscle which keeps it shut and so you need to go at it strongly. It's quite easy for the oyster knife to slip and to end up in your hand." He regularly saw patients who had cut their tendons, nerves or arteries, or all three, he said."




Strange boat: "It might look like something out of a James Bond film but this is could be the ocean cruiser of the future. The WAM-V, or Wave Adaptive Modular Vessel, blasts along on two giant inflatable tubes which, according to its designers, let it 'dance' with the waves. Powered by twin diesel engines, the spider-like craft can be crewed by just two people as it tackles voyages of up to 5,000 miles. The catamaran has been built by US-based Marine Advanced Research Inc to carry out studies of the world's oceans. But designers say the vessel could, in the future, be used as a luxury cruiser, a scuba diving boat or a passenger ship for up to 12 people. They say they have already designed, manufactured and tested 8ft radio-controlled models and a 50ft personal craft as well as the 100ft Proteus. A spokesman for the group said: 'The WAM-V is a new class of watercraft based on a patented technology that delivers a radically new seagoing experience. 'These ultralight flexible catamarans are designed to allow for a variety of applications and to fit the requirements of specific users, missions or projects."


Heavy vehicle driver deliberately rams other drivers on British motorway: "A lorry driver who smirked as he rammed rush-hour traffic out of his way on a busy motorway was jailed today for dangerous driving and criminal damage. Victims feared for their lives as Vitezslav Labounek shunted their cars with his 40-tonne articulated truck as he ploughed through a speed-restricted section of the M1 northbound, Derby Crown Court heard. Horrified motorists called police and turned on their hazard lights as the 44-year-old crashed along the route, between junctions 26, near Kimberley, Notts, and 33, near Sheffield, on the afternoon of August 28 this year. One witness likened the incident to a scene out of Duel, the Steven Spielberg film in which a tanker truck tries to ram a car off the road. Three cars were hit, leaving drivers with whiplash injuries and thousands of pounds of damage to their vehicles. Czech national Labounek, of no fixed address, was sentenced to 15 months behind bars and disqualified from driving for three years for a dangerous driving offence described by police as one of the worst they had seen."


Nasty priest: "A Catholic priest has angered parents in northern Italy by telling their tearful children that Father Christmas does not really exist. Father Dino Bottino, the parish priest of the Sacred Heart Catholic Church in Novara, let out the secret at a children's mass earlier this month and was immediately accused of ruining Christmas for the youngsters. But an unrepentant Fr Bottino called it his duty to set the record straight and said: ''I told the children that Father Christmas was an invention. And I would repeat it again, if I had the chance."



And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 3:55 PM

 


Holiday Eating Tips - For The Sane

I hate aspects of this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds.

1. About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnogaholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember college?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can't leave them behind. You're not going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards, pal.

10. And one final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips. Start over. But hurry! Cookieless January is just around the corner.






THE NEWS

Funeral crashers: "A group has been caught attending memorial services of people they didn't know, in scenes straight out of the hit movie Wedding Crashers. The serial mourners gave themselves access to free booze, food and company until being exposed in an elaborate sting. After the death of UK journalist Alan Coren, his daughter Victoria advertised his memorial service in newspapers. But a mysterious email warned her to "beware a certain Terence Jolley", who often attended services for people he didn't know. Jolley had applied to attend the service and claimed he had worked with Coren at the BBC. An internet search revealed he was a former magistrate who had been convicted of transport fraud. Further investigation revealed a whole gang who had written to say they would attend the service had given fake identities and addresses. To catch them out, Ms Coren invented a character called Sir William Ormerod and set up a website listing his engineering and arts achievements. Within hours of advertising Sir William's memorial service, she received emails from "the Hon Terence Jolley and Terence Jolley (Sr)" and four other couples. "We knew him from his work and support of the arts centre," the Jolleys wrote.... Ms Coren used her evidence to ban Jolley from her father's memorial service but let the others in the gang attend. "They all arrived promptly at the party afterwards and dug into the sandwiches," she said."


Cosmetic surgeon fills his car up with his patients' excess flab: "If you're keen to establish your green credentials you can install solar panels or stick a wind turbine on your roof. Or you could become a patient of Dr Alan Bittner. The leading Beverly Hills cosmetic surgeon claims to be saving the planet by using fat removed from clients in liposuction operations to power his 4x4 car. According to Dr Bittner, his patients are more than happy to be involved in the extraordinary eco-friendly scheme. 'The vast majority of my patients request that I use their fat for fuel - and I have more fat than I can use,' he declared. 'Not only do they get to lose their love handles or chubby belly, but they get to take part in saving the Earth.' U.S. authorities are less impressed and have launched an inquiry into his claims that he is converting the waste fat into bio-diesel - or 'lipodiesel' as he calls it. Dr Bittner posted his claims on a website lipodiesel.com, which has since been taken down following the sudden closure of his clinic on Rodeo Drive. He is believed to have moved to South America after several patients filed a lawsuit against his practice for allegedly allowing his unlicensed girlfriend to carry out operations. U.S. business magazine Forbes reported that Dr Bittner used the 'lipofuel' to power both his Ford Explorer and his girlfriend's Lincoln Navigator. Bio-diesel is commonly made from vegetable oils, although half of the U.S. supply comes from beef or pig products. Animal and vegetable fat contains triglycerides that can be extracted and turned into diesel."


Chicago sheriff baits fugitives with holiday ruse : "The sheriff's office in Chicago has arrested more than 60 fugitives with a net of holiday cheer. Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart said Sunday that the suspects were invited to take a retailers' survey for holiday shoppers at a hotel earlier this month. Participants who brought along a scratch-off card that was included with the survey were promised at least $500. Those who showed up were taken into custody. One man who arrived with marijuana in his pocket was charged with possession on top of his previous charges. The fugitives had warrants for crimes including forgery and aggravated battery."


Parents mislay child: "The parents of a five-year-old found alone at a Christmas lights display said they accidentally left him there due to having a large number of children. Alexander spent the night with police after he was found alone in Vermont South last night. When located this afternoon, his parents told police they had taken the family in two cars to visit the display and due to having a large number of children with them they accidentally Alexander behind them. A member of the public noticed Alexander standing alone at the display at the corner of Narracan Drive and Ensay Court at 11.30 last night. Police said he was in good spirits and was being cared for by workers from the Department of Human Services. Police said Alexander couldn't tell them his surname, where he lived or how he got to the Christmas display. Police said he was in good spirits while authorities waited for the family to contact them and was cared for by workers from the Department of Human Services."




And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 4:53 PM

 


A sermon with a difference

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignors advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T"
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me."
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry."
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A- Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.






THE NEWS

British government says Christmas is dangerous: "Britain beware. The nation has been put on alert for a sinister Christmas-time menace. Failure to heed the warnings, say ministers, could result in "tipsy" grandmas "toppling down the stairs" or "crashing to the floor when they miss their seat at the dinner table", exploding gravy dishes and "parents stabbing themselves with scissors they've grabbed instead of screw-drivers to assemble toys". These danger signs are outlined in a "festive" leaflet designed to look like an Advent calendar and entitled "Tis the Season to Be Careful". Some 150,000 will be thrust upon unsuspecting shoppers in high streets around the country in the last three shopping days before Christmas. Delyth Morgan, the Minister for Children, insists that the leaflets are a well-meant attempt to advise parents about potential domestic hazards. This includes telling them to take care with candles and games with small pieces, and to be careful with aftershave and perfume, as they contain alcohol that is harmful if swallowed.... ministers - with the help of RoSPA - have compiled a list of typical yuletide accidents to be wary of. They include: people cutting themselves with knives they are using to open presents too quickly, children falling off rocking horses (presumably meant for those who think it is 1908, not 2008); bikes smashing into walls; hot fat spilt on the cook as they try to grapple with a big turkey; tipsy party guests crashing to the floor when they miss their seat at the table and children getting drunk on the last dregs of wine left in other people's glasses. According to RoSPA, about 1,000 people go to hospital every year after accidents with Christmas trees; another 1,000 are hurt by trimmings or when decorating their homes; and 350 are injured by Christmas tree lights - some fall while putting them up, children swallow the bulbs and others get electric shocks."




Plane crash geek Twitters from burning Denver aircraft: "Mike Wilson scrambled from a smouldering aircraft, losing his glasses and landing in a snowy ravine. Then he did what any software engineer worth his iPhone would do in the circumstances: he posted a live report of his situation online on his Twitter account. "Holy f***ing s*** I was just in a plane crash," he said, in a post sent via a text message shortly after Continental Flight 1404 careered off a runway at Denver international airport. The buckled fuselage of the aircraft was ablaze in a ditch, the landing gear and one engine torn off, interior compartments melting in the heat. Firefighters would later tell reporters that the sight was akin to a scene from an action film, but long before any other accounts emerged Mr Wilson was reporting live to his friends, family and rapidly growing following on Twitter. The "microblogging service" allows users to send an incessant stream of reports from their computer or mobile phone, updating the world on the very latest developments in their lives in messages no more than 140 characters long."




Nutty woman gives new meaning to double parked: "Pauline Grodski's motoring acrobatics stunned a quiet suburban street yesterday. Awed residents of the Melbourne suburb of Malvern suggested it was an award-winning stunt. "I think the driver deserves a medal to get a Mercedes on two wheels like that. I don't know how it happened," said neighbour Ed Waters. Elizabeth St residents heard a crash about midday and saw Ms Grodski's Mercedes-Benz perched on two wheels astride a parked Astra sedan. Ms Grodski was apparently reaching for her lunchbox as she neared home and couldn't say how she'd suddenly turned half a cartwheel. She was unhurt and quickly clambered from her car. "I'm still here so that's good," she said. "Things are going well"


Police distribute Beluga caviar to homeless, poor: "Homeless people in Italy's financial capital Milan will dine out on expensive Beluga caviar after police seized a huge shipment from smugglers. ABC online reports Milan's poor will get a free handout of caviar from a batch worth about $800,000. A police officer charged with guarding 40 kilograms of top grade Beluga caviar seized from smugglers said it was better for the poor to eat it than to throw it away".




And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 12:40 PM

 


Some Christmas advice from Australia (Where Christmas is in midsummer)

I am one of those annoying Pollyanna types who count down the days - all year - to Christmas. I have an email I received three years ago that counts down the number of days left in the year, and periodically I send it to my buddies, just for fun. Like I said: annoying. With four girls, three of them teenagers, you'd expect some of the shine to have slid off our tinsel by now. Luckily for me, the Foord genes triumphed in our household and, miraculously, there is no sleeping-in until noon or disappearing behind iPods all day.

My kids are just as nutty about Christmas. My husband, not so much. He has imposed certain sanctions about when yuletide can begin. Our twins' birthday is late November, so I am banned from playing carols until the day after their birthday, and we are not allowed to put the tree up until December. So, on December 1, I was excitedly telling the cameramen at work all about our glorious tree-trimming day and was met by polite nods and quizzical looks.

It was then that I had the "revelation". To most men, Christmas is a lot like their weddings. A single day. A function to turn up to. Followed by a monumental hangover. For women, it is a season. A month-long (at the very least) adventure of buying presents, ferrying offspring to numerous parties, throwing together last-second costumes for nativity plays, making fudge and truffles for teachers and drop-ins.

So, gentlemen, if I may: a heads-up. You have four days left. Time to lift your game. To make your task easier, I've compiled a list. We will assume that the love of your life has (as she does each and every year) already bought, wrapped and hidden the presents. So don't let the team down. Look confident even though you obviously don't have the first clue what's inside the wrapping.

But first things first. You blokes had better get busy, straight after you finish reading this column -- otherwise beware the Christmas wife meltdown headed your way about dusk on Christmas. Don't know where to start? Fellas, three days from now your barbie, veranda, pool and lawn need to be pristine.

Prise those kids off the computer and get them out mowing, raking, skimming, sweeping and generally helping (a word so often missing from their vocab) while you fill up the gas bottles, get the tarp and prepare for the inevitable Christmas Day afternoon storm.

On the blessed day, make sure you wake up happy - I cannot stress this enough. Go to church willingly. And give thanks for all the relatives who will grace your table today, including your distant uncle Ray, the one with the Brylcreem and the problem saying No to another ale.

Then, when presents start flying, it's your job to wrangle the wrapping paper to the wheelie bin. But your most important mission of the day? Keep the chef smiling.

Make sure you pop into the kitchen every half hour and offer her an encouraging word. Better still, a wine. Understand that all her Christmas cheer is elbow deep in a large turkey and she'll be much more approachable once dessert has been cleared and your side of the family has washed up.

And . . . be ready for the post-lunch vacuum. I'm not talking about a Hoover here, folks (although that's not such a bad idea, either). I'm talking about that blissful "nothing" that rightly awaits the Christmas Day mistress of ceremonies and, for me, descends the moment the last "sixpence" has been wrenched from the pudding.

So amass the troops for some backyard cricket, or engage them in trying to decipher the NASA-encoded directions for the kids' new toys, and let your beloved sit down and grab a well-earned tipple. In other words, leave her alone.

Then, when the battle for the barbecue Ashes has been decided, creep back in and give her the most wonderful hug and congratulations on a job, and partnership, well done. That's when I, try as I might not to, remember my email hidden away at work, silently counting down - only 365 sleeps to go! And you know what? Just like Pollyanna, I'm glad.

Original report here






THE NEWS

Smart Finnish cops: "Police in Finland believe they have caught a car thief thanks to a DNA sample taken from a sample of his blood found inside a mosquito. Last June a car was stolen in Lapua, some 380 kilometres north of Helsinki. It was soon found near a railway station in Seinaejoki, about 25 kilometres from where it was stolen. "A police patrol carried out an inspection of the car and they noticed a mosquito that had sucked blood. It was sent to the laboratory for testing, which showed the blood belonged to a man who was in the police registers," inspector Sakari Palomaeki told AFP. The suspect, who has been interrogated, has insisted he did not steal the car, saying he had hitchhiked and was given a lift by a man driving the car. Palomaeki said a prosecutor would decide if the evidence was solid enough for charges to be pressed. Finnish police said it was rare for them to use insects to solve crimes, although they are interested in everything found at a crime scene."




Hoard of gold coins found in old Jerusalem: "Archaeologists have discovered 264 gold coins dating from the seventh century AD at a dig in Jerusalem's old city, Israeli public television reported on Monday. The solid 24-carat coins bear the likeness of the Byzantine emperor Heraclius, who reigned from 610 to 641, and the treasure was found in a niche concealed in a wall, it said. The discovery was made during excavations in the area known as the "City of David," an ancient site in the eastern part of the city annexed by Israel after it was seized in the 1967 Six-Day War.


Driver threatened students over crumbs: "A school bus driver in Texas has been accused of brandishing a knife and threatening to cut three sixth-graders who left Oreo crumbs on a seat. Officials say police confiscated a pocket knife from 66-year-old William Allen on Friday in Mansfield. He was taken into custody on a charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Two students told their parents Allen removed them from the bus Wednesday at Mary Orr Intermediate School. They say he threatened to cut their wrists if they didn't admit to spilling crumbs. Allen is on paid leave until an investigation is complete. He was released from the Tarrant County jail. Online records do not show whether he has an attorney."


Thief fall through own roof: :A man wanted over two Sydney home invasions tried to evade capture by hiding in the attic of his own home - but was arrested after falling through the ceiling. Police attended the Bates Place home in Doonside at 6.30pm (AEDT) on Sunday, looking for the 31-year-old suspect in the home invasions in Rosebury and Waterloo in inner Sydney. While searching the western Sydney house officers heard noises coming from the roof cavity and found the 31-year-old hiding in the attic. The man ignored instructions to surrender, but fell through the ceiling into the family room below, police said. Police used capsicum spray to arrest him after a struggle. He was taken to Blacktown Hospital for treatment for a pre-existing cut to his head, where he remains under police guard. A woman living in the Doonside home was also arrested, but was later released pending further investigations."




And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 5:10 PM

 


British efficiency at work

I now have positive proof that the Post Office is completely useless. (For the purposes of anonymity, I'll use random locations.)

Last week we received a Christmas card in the post, nothing unusual in that except that it wasn't addressed to us. We are used to the occasional mix up with the wrong post because we live in an area which has several variations of the road name, for instance, Brown Road, Brown Avenue & Brown Grove. As they are in the same area the postcodes are similar, although not the same, obviously.

Anyway, when I read the address I noticed that it should have gone to Brown Road & not Brown Grove. But that wasn't all. The town was different. If we lived in Bristol, then an equivalently distanced town to which this card was addressed was Brighton, i.e quite some distance away and only the first 3 letters of the towns were similar.

And that wasn't all, the postcode written on the envelope was clearly a postcode not even in the same county, let alone region. As far as I could tell, the letter was addressed correctly to someone in Brighton but arrived at my house in Bristol. The writing on the envelope was clearly legible. It appeared that someone in a sorting office somewhere had seen this card & thrown it over his shoulder into whatever sorting bin was behind him at the time. I have no idea how modern Post Office Communications technology works but I'm guessing that at some stage, maybe even several stages, someone actually looks at the address on the item. Perhaps nobody can read these days, I know educashun's not what it used to be, and all that. Perhaps everyone at the Post Office is pissed at this time of year, or maybe there's some human right which says the ability to read should not be a bar to a job in a sorting office.

Being the helpful soul I am, I wrote on the front of the envelope in large red pen "BRIGHTON NOT BRISTOL" and popped it into the nearest post box safe in the knowledge that someone in Brighton would soon be receiving their misdirected card, hopefully in the same millennium. I thought no more about it.

Until today. When the self same bloody Christmas card popped through my door again. I thought I was in Groundhog Day when I saw it looking defiantly up at me from my doormat. I have no idea where it had been, probably the other side of Vanuatu & back.

The icing on the cake is the current franks they are putting on the post. In large black text clearly at the top of every delivered item is a reminder to check the postcode - if only someone would tell the Post Office.

Original report here





THE NEWS

Bride, 80, blocked until dad says yes: "After a life of spinsterhood, Setareh, an 80-year-old Iranian, assumed she was fated to see out her remaining days alone and was preparing to move into an old people's home for company. When the boy-next-door from her youth suddenly reappeared and proposed, she thought her long-forgotten dreams of marriage were about to be fulfilled. But Iran's laws require a father to give permission before a daughter can marry. Now the lovestruck octogenarian has asked a Tehran court to establish whether her father, who abandoned her when she was two, is dead or alive so her wedding can go ahead. The legal obstacle came to light when Setareh and her betrothed, Jamshid, tried to tie the knot at a registrar's office, only to be told she needed written agreement or proof of death of her father."




British clown finds airport security no laughing matter: "Birmingham Airport security chiefs strip-searched a clown on his way onto a plane - because they thought he could've been a terrorist. Kids entertainer Dave Vaughan - aka PC Konk the clown - was frisked by security guards at Birmingham International Airport after setting off a security alarm, and was ordered by cops to strip down from his clown costume to shorts and tee-shirt. Stunned PC Konk - who was wearing bright blue clown trousers, massive shoes and a flashing police helmet - was trying to board a flight for disadvantaged kids. He had been booked by Variety Club Midlands to perform for kids on the Search for Santa trip, which involves a one-hour round flight. PC Konk was even made to hand over his plastic handcuffs, as they were deemed a 'risk'. Dave, 60, from Shard End, Birmingham, who has been a kids entertainer for 25 years, said: "I just couldn't believe it when they told me to get undressed so they could search me and my belongings. "I showed them my policeclown identity card, which had my picture next to the my credentials as a member of the Criminal Insane Department, but I don't think that really helped! "My plastic scissors and camera got through fine, as did my funny glasses and bubble machine, but then they discovered my plastic toy handcuffs. I told them I had bought them from the Early Learning Centre especially for the trip but they still said they were a risk. "I suppose they have to be really safety-conscious nowadays, but I've never had this problem before when I've been to international clown conventions abroad."


Illegal candy: A lawyer has been arrested after he reportedly ignored orders not to give his shackled client a piece of candy in court, a Yavapai County sheriff's official said. Damon Rossi, 38, was arrested at his home on Thursday, a day after he asked two detention officers if he could feed his client a piece of candy, sheriff's spokesman Dwight D'Evelyn said on Friday. Rossi went ahead and gave the inmate the food despite being warned against it, reportedly asking the officers "what are you going to do, arrest me?"


Man tells court ecstasy was birth control for his dog: "A businessman who pleaded not guilty to possessing more than 70 ecstasy tablets told a court he thought they were birth control pills for his dog. darwin man Steven James Dwyer, 48, pleaded guilty to possessing a traffickable amount of methamphetamine, but contested the charge of possessing an amount of ecstasy tablets, saying he thought the pills would stop his pet shar-peis from breeding. He was found guilty and convicted on both charges - magistrate Vince Luppino adding he did not find the excuse for having a traffickable amount of ecstasy "reasonable". Dwyer told Darwin Magistrates Court the ecstasy tablets - MDMA - had come into his hands when he was outside a Katherine laundromat, after he met a man with a female shar-pei dog."




And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 5:09 PM

 


Rudolf meets Sarah Palin







THE NEWS

Caring cats: "A Boy aged one has been found living rough on the streets - being kept alive by CATS. Stunned police officers found eight mangy moggies protecting the tiny lad. They snuggled up to keep him warm during freezing nights - which would otherwise have killed him, medics believe. He was seen eating scraps foraged by the animals while they licked him. And they HISSED when a female cop approached the boy in Misiones, Argentina. Policewoman Alicia Lorena Lindgvist discovered the child by a canal in the Christ King district on Wednesday. She said yesterday: "I was walking and noticed a gang of cats sitting very close together. "It is unusual to see so many like that so I went for a closer look and that's where I saw him. "The boy was lying at the bottom of a gutter. "There were all these cats on top of him, licking him because he was really dirty. "When I walked over they became really protective and spat at me. They were keeping the boy warm while he slept." Alicia said she noticed scraps of food by the tot. She added: "I picked him up and took him to the nearest police station. "He was still really dirty and he was then taken to the hospital. The doctor who examined him said he should have perished in the cold. "The cats knew he was fragile and needed protecting." Police have tracked the boy's father - who told officers he is homeless and admitted he lost the lad for several days while collecting cardboard to sell. He told officers cats had always been protective of his son".




Revenge of the mice: "Mice may be responsible for a blaze that killed nearly 100 cats at an animal shelter near the Canadian city of Toronto, officials say. The fire at the humane society shelter in Oshawa also killed three dogs and some rats that were up for adoption. An initial report from the fire marshal says mice or rats chewing through electrical wires in the ceiling are likely to have sparked the blaze. Offers of help have been pouring in from animal lovers across Canada. "It's unfortunate and ironic that mice caused the fire that killed the cats," Toronto Humane Society spokesman Ian McConachie told the BBC News website. "Unfortunately, the mice probably perished in the fire as well," he added."


Cocaine suspect describes himself to Texas police: "Galveston police knew who to look for _ exactly _ when they arrested an alleged delivery man in a call-for-cocaine investigation. A 29-year-old Galveston man was jailed Friday on a charge of manufacturing or delivering a controlled substance. Lacour is accused of taking delivery orders for crack over the phone. Officers, acting on a tip, called the number and pretended to want to buy cocaine. They requested a delivery to a certain address, plus asked the person to describe himself so they would know who to expect. Lt. D.J. Alvarez told the Galveston County Daily News that Lacour was arrested early Thursday when he arrived. Police confiscated a small amount of cocaine.


Michigan city bans being annoying in public: "Ticking someone off could get you a ticket in one Michigan city. The Brighton City Council on Thursday approved an ordinance allowing police in the Livingston County community to ticket and fine anyone who is annoying in public "by word of mouth, sign or motions." The Livingston County Daily Press & Argus of Howell reports the measure is modeled on a similar ordinance in the Detroit suburb of Royal Oak. A city attorney says there could be situations where the measure would violate freedom of speech, but that those cases will be reviewed by the city".




And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 2:50 PM

 


Some failures










THE NEWS

Man loses arm, breaks legs while fleeing police: "A young Maylands man is fighting for his life with multiple injuries including a severed arm after crashing his car after evading a traffic patrol. The man has undergone emergency surgery in Royal Perth Hospital early today. The 23-year-old man sped off in a Mazda 3 from police after being pulled over while heading south on the Graham Farmer Freeway, Lathlain, about 1.30am, Police Inspector Neil Royle said. The driver was suspected of speeding. ``(The Mazda) actively went into the process of stopping. When the (police) car was next to him, then it took off,'' Insp Royle said. The Mazda was unrecognisable after it crashed about 1km south at the Orrong Rd-Francisco St intersection, Lathlain, at 1.33am. Wreckage littered the road and verges after the Mazda appeared to lose control near the intersection. It struck a centre median tree about 10m past the intersection and continued to travel out of control for about 150m, stopping on its roof after hitting a second tree. The driver was in surgery early today. He had also suffered two broken legs, a fractured collar bone, a broken wrist and ankle. He would be transferred to intensive care, an RPH spokesman said.


Man repays $11 loan - 40 years later: "A Briton who lent $11 to a cash-strapped Australian while travelling through Europe has had his loan repaid - nearly 40 years later, a report said. Jim Webb, 72, was in the Belgian coastal town of Ostend in April 1969 with a friend when he met Gary Fenton who asked for a loan to pay for a ferry journey back to Britain. Mr Fenton promised to repay Mr Webb and noted down his address when the trio landed in England. Last Sunday Mr Webb returned to his home in Sheffield to find a hand-delivered package with $439 - $11 for each year the loan had not been paid - and a note that read: "To Jim Webb, a good man. From Gary Fenton, a tardy payer of debts." "I was quite emotional when I read it," Mr Webb told the BBC. "In this day and age promises are made and promises are broken and you lose your faith in human nature. "This was a lovely gesture. Forty years is a long time - it must have been preying on his mind that he hadn't repaid his debt."




The octopus, the diver and the dentures: "When Manly diver David Baxter emerged from the water clutching a set of false teeth he had wrestled from the tentacles of an octopus he knew he would have trouble convincing people his tale was true. "In 20 years of diving it's the most unbelievable thing I've ever encountered," he said. The proof was the set of dentures, complete with algae, that he had recovered from the Manly swimming enclosure between the wharf and Oceanworld while filming seahorses. Mr Baxter said he first saw a common octopus in a crevice, its two eyes visible and a tentacle draped just below in a Bela Lugosi pose. It was also clutching a row of false teeth. Mr Baxter is a bit of an octopus aficianado - he showed a blue- ringed octopus at the recent Ocean Care display - and he knows they have beaks not teeth. The octopus had "sucked up" the teeth, presumably from the seabed floor, with its tentacles. Mr Baxter assumes someone dropped them while swimming, - perhaps they coughed or sneezed. Knowing how expensive dentures are he gently prised the teeth from the tentacles and is hoping they can be returned to their owners. They probably haven't been in the water that long - they are still in great condition other than a little algae posing as plaque."


Sneezing and sex linked?: " Women who suspect a man of having sex on the brain should listen out for a sneeze, as a pair of British doctors say that sneezing may be a sign of arousal. In an unusual paper published on Friday in the prestigious Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine, Mahmood Bhutta and Harold Maxwell cite the case of an unnamed middle-aged patient who suffered uncontrollable fits of sneezing whenever he thought of sex. Intrigued, the pair unearthed further evidence - although less robust - among anonymous internet chat rooms, where 17 people of both sexes reported sneezing immediately upon thinking of sex and three others who said they sneezed after orgasm. Bhutta, a specialist in ear, nose and throat medicine at the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford, said the phenomenon could be more widespread than thought and might even be inherited. "It certainly seems odd, but I think this reflex demonstrates evolutionary relics in the wiring of a part of the nervous system called the autonomic nervous system," Bhutta said. "This is the part beyond our control, and which controls things like our heart rate and the amount of light let in by our pupils. Sometimes the signals in this system get crossed, and I think this may be why some people sneeze when they think about sex."



And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 2:08 PM

 


Help wanted

Job description: HORSE RIDE ASSISTANT

Job location: Beach in Jamaica

Salary: $5/week

People needed: 3



APPLICANTS (so far): 6,437,943






THE NEWS

Old wives' tales: "Many accepted medical 'facts' are actually myths, scientists have revealed. Mothers who have made their children wear a hat when it is cold with the warning that 'you lose most of your body heat through your head,' are plain wrong. Eating close to bedtime won't make you fat and giving children sugar won't make them hyperactive. And if you think you can survive the party season with a cure for hangovers then you're mistaken - there isn't one. The findings were revealed by U.S. scientists who looked at some common myths and examined the available evidence to see which were true. Writing in the British Medical Journal, they found no evidence that more heat escapes from the head than any other part of the body. They said the myth probably originated in a military study which put hatless subjects in Arctic survival suits and measured their heat loss in extreme cold. 'Because it was the only part of the subjects' bodies that was exposed to the cold, they lost the most heat through their heads.' The belief that children become more disruptive after being given sugar is likely to be in the mind of their parents, the researchers said. 'Even in studies of those who were considered "sensitive" to sugar, children did not behave differently after eating sugar-full or sugar-free diets,' the authors wrote. Evidence that eating late at night makes you fat is also thin on the ground. The team, from Indiana University School of Medicine, also looked at the myth that the traditional Christmas plant, the poinsettia, is toxic. But in an analysis of 849 incidents involving the plant, no one died from exposure to or eating it and most did not even require medical treatment."


Driver dies while avoiding breath test: "Police are investigating the death of a man who died in a fireball after speeding away from a police random breath testing unit near Boddington, 140km south of Perth. Police were conducting an RBT on Goldmine Rd near the town when the driver did a u-turn and sped away about 11.15pm. Incredibly, the driver died after slamming into the same tree where two Boddington mine workers were killed in October when they sped away from a routine police speeding check. Police today said the Holden utility [pickup] was seen driving towards the RBT station before doing a u-turn about 500m before the road block and driving away at speed. A police vehicle was sent after the utility and shortly after officers found the vehicle crashed against a tree. The utility had collided heavily with the tree and a small fire had started under the vehicle. Police went to check on the man, who was unresponsive, but were unable to rescue him as the car became engulfed in fire. Police were unable to extinguish the fire and could not get the man out before the vehicle was completely engulfed by flames."


Machete grandma: "Janis lives in a modest rental home in the South Side with her adult daughter and a grandchild. Janis keeps the machetes under her bed, along with a couple of baseball bats. That's all the protection she needs, as she doesn't want to own a gun. "I got a 3-year-old in here," she says. She says the machetes are less than razor-sharp. "But it would hurt you if I hit ya with 'em," she says with a grin. She'd never had to swing one until Dec. 8. About 8:45 p.m., she was home with the granddaughter when she heard a "pop" at her front door. Janis peered from down the hall, and she saw an unknown big man - 6 feet, 1 inch tall and weighing 225 pounds - in a ski mask. He had opened the unlocked screen door and pushed in Plexiglas in the main door. He was reaching inside the door frame, trying to unclasp a chain lock. "It's like he knew it was there," Janis says. She dashed to her room, reached under her bed and drew out a machete. "I came running and screaming, 'Get the hell out of my house! Get the hell out of my house!'" she recalls. The invader didn't heed the warning. By the time Janis and her machete zoomed to the door, he still was reaching inside for the lock. In the dim lighting, she started whacking the blade at his arm. She isn't sure, but believes she made contact. "I think I might've, because he went, 'Ow!" Janis says. With that, he withdrew his arm and ran away. Janis called police, but the burglar escaped."


Ancient ruins may reveal fate of Moche sex and sacrifice culture: "Archaeologists have discovered the ruins of an ancient city that they hope might finally answer questions about the fate of the Moche culture - best known for the ceremonial sex acts and ritualistic human sacrifices depicted on its pottery. The unearthed city is some 5km (three miles) long and has revealed what appears to be a gathering place for human sacrifices, a heap of human bones at the bottom of a cliff, ceramics, items of clothing and the well-preserved remains of a young woman. Archaeologists hope that the ruins will provide the missing link between the Moche people - whose disappearance has long since puzzled historians - and the Wari, who later colonised parts of what is today Peru. "[The city] provides the missing link because it explains how the Wari people allowed for the continuation of culture after the Moche," said Cesar Soriano, chief archaeologist on the excavation project, 22km from the Pacific coast city of Chiclayo. The Wari ruled the country now known as Peru from about AD600 until about AD1100. Nevertheless, it is the Moche who often inspire the greater fascination, largely because of their wildly exotic rituals and artefacts, such as their erotic ceramics, which depict ceremonial sexual encounters, performed in specially constructed temples in front of witnesses (who are shown holding hands as if in prayer). Moche ceramics also depict ceremonial human sacrifice and blood drinking, with victims being subjected to excoriation (skinning), decapitation and bloodletting. It is thought that cannibalism probably also took place. The reason for the Moche's demise in the early 9th century - after flourishing for 700 years - is a continuing mystery. Scholars believe that the various autonomous tribes which comprised the Moche (connected by a common elite culture) could have been ravaged by a super El Nino - perhaps 30 years of intense tropical downpours followed by another 30 years of drought - and then fallen victim to a protracted civil war."




And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 4:35 PM

 


Caution in an age of litigation

Before St. Nick makes his way down your chimney and indulges, make sure you leave out our official Christmas Cookie Liability And Indemnification Agreement for him (notary not required). It includes 7 levels of legal protection against being pulled into court, on the basis of:

Failure to provide nutrition information and a list of ingredients (the "Grandma's secret recipe" clause);
Failure to caution of the potential for overeating because cookies taste "yummy" and are provided at no cost;
Failure to advise that walking, biking, and jogging will shed pounds, but riding around on a reindeer-powered sleigh will not;
Failure to warn that Christmas lights, lawn ornaments (plastic reindeer, snowmen, etc.) and other holiday decorations may constitute manipulative marketing to lure Santa into over-consumption;
Failure to offer "healthier" cookie alternatives (e.g., tofu bars, carob blobs, or carrot sticks);
Failure to affix warning label acknowledging that milk, should it be provided, must not be consumed if Santa is, or could possible be, lactose intolerant; or
Failure to notify that eating too many cookies may lead to even greater levels of obesity.
Ho! Ho! Ho! ... Have a Merry Christmas (In moderation, of course)!

The agreement

Santa Claus, AKA Kris Kringle, AKA Jolly Old St. Nick (hereinafter referred to as "Santa") acknowledges receipt of Christmas cookies from ...... (hereinafter referred to as "Baker").

Santa acknowledges and understands that no warranty, either expressed or implied, is made by Baker as to the nutritional content of cookies. This document is offered to duly warn Santa that dangerous conditions, risks, and hazards may result from overconsumption of cookies. Santa is hereby informed that cookies may contain any or all of the following: calories, carbohydrates, sodium (salt), fat, saturated fat, polyunsaturated fat, monounsaturated fat, nuts, sugar, caffeine, chocolate "chips" and/or "chunks," and good cheer. Santa acknowledges that eating way too many cookies may incur risks including, but not limited to, satiation, indigestion, heartburn, laziness, holiday spirit, "food coma," and "that bloated feeling."

As consideration for accepting Baker's cookies, Santa indemnifies Baker from all liability for injury or other harm (including obesity) which may be caused, in whole or in part, by said "too many" cookies. Santa agrees that neither he, nor his agents or personal representatives, will sue Baker for any injury suffered, in whole or in part, as a consequence of ingesting cookies. Santa assumes full responsibility for, and will indemnify Baker for, any damages in the event that he transfers cookies to any third party (including, but not limited to, potential claimants Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph, Mrs. Claus, and various elves).

SANTA HAS READ THIS DOCUMENT AND UNDERSTANDS IT. SANTA IS SIGNING IT FREELY





THE NEWS

Rapid wine upgrade: "Scientists have found a quick way to turn cheap plonk into something pleasantly drinkable. With a burst of electricity, a young acidic wine can be rapidly aged, creating something more mellow and aromatic. So promising are the results, that no fewer than five wineries have invested in the technology which could allow them to get their wines into the shops faster and cut the costs of storage. While inventors have come up with a variety of widgets to make the undrinkable drinkable without the wait, this one 'stands out from the rest', says New Scientist magazine. 'It is backed by a decade of research, the results have been published in a peer-reviewed journal and the end product has passed the ultimate test - blind tasting by a panel of wine experts,' says. 'The secret this time is an electric field. Pass an undrinkable, raw red wine between a set of high-voltage electrodes and it becomes pleasantly quaffable.' The technique has the seal of approval of some of the world's finest palates - and noses. Herve Alexandre, a professor of wine-making, or oenology as it is more properly known, said: 'Using an electric field to accelerate ageing is a feasible way to shorten maturation times and improve the quality of young wine.' For reasons that are still unclear, exposing wine to an electric field rapidly accelerates the ageing process."




'This is your captain. Sorry... but I'm not qualified to land the plane' : "They are not the most comforting words to hear at 30,000ft. So imagine the shock of passengers on a Flybe aircraft who heard the captain announce: 'Sorry, I'm not qualified to land the plane.' He then turned it around and flew back to the airport they had left hours earlier. Yesterday passengers spoke of their shock at hearing the announcement as they waited for the 80-seater plane to land in Paris, which was shrouded in thick fog. Their captain had more than 30 years of flying experience - but he had only recently started to pilot the type of plane they were in. This meant he had not passed the necessary low-visibility training. After making the unsettling announcement at the end of the 300 mile journey, the captain flew back to Cardiff airport instead."


British church finds treasures on its walls: "Two paintings that had been hanging in a parish church for nearly 100 years unnoticed have been identified as 15th-century masterpieces worth $600,000. The works by Sano di Pietro were part of an altarpiece sent for valuation when the church in Goldthorpe, near Barnsley, was renovated. The church could not afford to insure them so they have been moved to York Minster".




How does she do it? "Lara Bingle's mile-high heels may be the height of fashion but how on earth does the glamour girl drive in them? That's what bystanders were left to ponder as she got behind the wheel of her new $300,000 Aston Martin V8 Vantage after a lunch with her girlfriends yesterday. The well-dressed blonde was spotted in the steamy stilettoes worn with skin-tight jeans and oversized singlet combo at the posh Finger Wharf in Woolloomooloo, Sydney. The model was easily able to walk along the waterfront with friends and had no qualms in jumping into her new car in the sexy shoes."



And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 6:00 PM

 


Burlesque revival?

I haven't figured out what it is yet: Something to do with dressups, I think. Maybe the pix below might tell you



It's 2008 - so why are growing numbers of women looking like they've just tumbled from the pages of a 1950s calendar? It's an old-world glamour that's winning favour with modern women as they delve into the wardrobe of a bygone era where French tailoring meets glitzy showgirl. Burlesque icon Dita von Teese has done more than her share for the retro revival, with high-end designers clamouring this year to seat her front row at fashion weeks in London, Paris and Milan. Plunging necklines, nipped-in waists and form-fitting skirts are among the hallmarks of the trend that has also crept into collections available in chain stores everywhere.

Original report here




THE NEWS

Half of women choose web over sex: "Nearly one out of two women would rather give up sex for two weeks than go without the internet, according to a survey released today. Far fewer men would choose to go without sex, according to the survey of 2119 adults carried out by the online research firm Harris Interactive and sponsored by Intel Corp, the world's biggest computer chip maker. Forty-six per cent of the women polled said they would rather go without sex for two weeks than give up access to the internet for the same period of time, according to the survey, Internet Reliance in Today's Economy. Only 30 per cent of men said they would rather forgo intimate relations than cyber ones. Ninety-five per cent of those surveyed said it is "very important, important or somewhat important" to be able to access the internet. Sixty-five per cent of those surveyed rated internet access above other discretionary spending items such as cable television subscriptions (39 per cent), dining out (20 per cent), shopping for clothes (18 per cent) or a health club membership (10 per cent)".




Owners give up dogs because 'it doesn't match the sofa' : "Being the wrong colour to match a sofa and even having eyes "like David Bowie" rank among some of the excuses given by dog owners for abandoning their pets, according to a leading animal charity. Staff at shelters have been left speechless when faced with owners attempting to swap their unwanted pet for a younger model or even a different colour to match a carpet. Other visitors have handed over unwanted puppies because of minor misdemeanours such as nibbling the Christmas turkey or trying to unwrap presents. The Dogs Trust has published a list of some of the most inappropriate reasons given by owners for getting rid of their pets as part of its annual Christmas campaign to discourage people from buying dogs as gifts. Exactly 30 years after it first used its familiar slogan "A dog is for life not just for Christmas", the charity has seen a steep decline in the number of people giving live animals as presents - from 20 per cent of all dogs bought in 1978 to less than 2 per cent now. But despite the success, the charity said that as many 131,400 dogs are still given away as gifts every year in Britain, with many ending up abandoned shortly afterwards."


Australian lawyer uses Facebook to serve court papers: "In what may be a legal first, an Australian lawyer has used Facebook to serve legal documents on a couple who defaulted on their mortgage. In a ruling that appears to have no precedent in internet history, a Supreme Court judge ruled that court notices could be served on the social networking site. Mark MacCormack, who works for the Canberra law firm Meyer Vandenberg had to get imaginative when conventional methods to find the couple failed. Carmel Corbo and Gordon Poyser had defaulted on a $150,000 loan they had borrowed from MKM Capital, a mortgage provider. The company had been granted a default judgement for the loan amount but despite repeated attempts to serve the papers to them personally, the couple appeared to have vanished. A keen Facebook user, Mr MrCormack put the details provided by the couple on their mortgage application, including their email addresses and dates of birth into the Facebook site. Less than a minute later, he had tracked them down. "We put the email address of one of the defendants into Facebook and their profile came up with a range of information that was identical to that on their mortgae application. What's more, they had the other defendant in their list of 'Facebook friends'." That was enough to convince Master David Harper, the Supreme Court judge who heard the application, that Facebook was a sufficient method of communicating with defendants. The couple now has seven days to respond to the papers before the loan company moves to repossess their home."


California city council sets curfew for night-owl mayor : "Members of a California city council annoyed at the nocturnal work habits of its mayor have passed a curfew limiting how late she can stay at the office. Under the new rule, Blanca Figueroa, the mayor of South El Monte, a suburb east of Los Angeles, must vacate city hall by 11pm. Councillors said they had concerns about safety and liability regarding the work schedule of the mayor, who frequently toils until the early hours of the morning. Ms Figueroa, however, has attacked the restriction as unfair, saying she needs to stay late to catch up on paperwork because her days are filled with meetings and her workload has increased over recent months due to the economic downturn worrying constituents. "My job is 24/7," the mayor, in office since 1997, told the Los Angeles Times. "I have more work to do now than ever. If I let it go by, it piles up," she added. "Do I have a private life? No. Even on Thanksgiving I was here. I'm mentally exhausted, but it is my service to serve the city." Members of the council voted last week four to one to ban staff and members from staying at the office after 11pm."




And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 4:38 PM

 


JUST LOTS OF NEWS TODAY

Anti-kidnapping expert kidnapped: "A top US anti-kidnapping expert was kidnapped in northeast Mexico last week, reports said today, in an audacious move amid a wave of drug-related violence and kidnappings. Security adviser Felix Batista, 55, was abducted on December 10 in Saltillo in Coahuila state after taking part in two conferences on business security, Reforma Daily said, quoting local government officials. The abduction "was not violent," said Fausto Destenave Kuri, a state security official, who confirmed the abduction to Vanguardia website. Mr Batista is a Latin America consultant for US-based ASI Global Response, specialised in kidnap and ransom response services, according to his online profile, which was removed from the company's website, Reforma said. Rising kidnappings and two kidnap-murders of children from high-profile families in the past year have shocked the country. More than 200,000 people marched across Mexico in late August to protest against rising kidnappings and violence. Official figures show 954 kidnappings from January 1 to November 30 2008, but rights groups say there are two to three more cases to each one reported.


Sleeping woman 'zzz-mails' friends: "A woman in a deep sleep sent emails to friends asking them over for wine and caviar in what doctors believe is the first reported case of 'zzz-mailing' - using the internet while asleep. The case of the 44-year-old woman is reported by researchers from the University of Toledo in the latest edition of the medical journal Sleep Medicine. They said the woman went to bed about 10pm but got up two hours later and walked to her computer in the next room, Britain's Daily Mail newspaper reports. She turned it on, connected to the internet, and logged on before composing and sending three emails. Each was in a random mix of upper and lower cases, not well formatted and written in strange language, the researchers said. One read: "Come tomorrow and sort this hell hole out. Dinner and drinks, 4pm,. Bring wine and caviar only." Another said simply, "What the.". The new variation of sleepwalking has been described as "zzz-mailing".... "She was shocked when she saw these emails, as she did not recall writing them. She did not have any history of night terrors or sleepwalking as a child."


Messy gift-wrapping service 'Crapwrap' launched: "When it comes to wrapping presents, most men tend to take a utilitarian approach. The paper is likely to be roughly chopped, the sticky tape applied in industrial quantities and as for bows and ribbons - forget it. It's perhaps not surprising that presented with an immaculately wrapped gift, many women become suspicious that it may not have received the personal touch. But one UK retailer is providing a wrapping service so shoddy the recipient will be left in no doubt her partner did it. Firebox.com is paying 20 of its male forklift truck drivers and warehouse assistants to wrap presents as quickly as possible, using ugly brown duct tape and very little care. And the $9 service, cheekily called CrapWrap, has attracted more than 500 customers since it launched last week. Whether it's a book, DVD or something trickier such as a kitchen utensil, the team guarantees to make a mess of it."


Dud musician stabbed: "The guitarist in a teen gothic metal band was allegedly stabbed dozens of times because he did not play well enough. Police in Genoa, on Italy's north-western coast, said the 16-year-old victim, who was allegedly stabbed by the band's singer and her brother, remained hospitalised but his life was not in danger. He was attacked after the band, Soul Cry, rehearsed in Sestri Ponente, a small town near Genoa. He was stabbed about 50 times, mainly to his back and head, said police official Alessandra Bucci in Genoa. The 18-year-old singer, Cristina Balzano, and her 16-year-old brother, the band's bass player, were arrested on charges of premeditated attempted murder. During the rehearsal, band members accused the victim of playing poorly, police said. The attack occurred moments later in a narrow alley. Balzano was caught by police holding a kitchen knife with an 18cm blade, her brother next to her and the victim in a pool of blood, Bucci said. The victim has accused both suspects of stabbing him, police and the lawyer said. Balzano initially said she was trying to stop the victim from committing suicide, Bucci said. She later refused to answer investigators' questions. Her brother has accused her of being the only attacker."


Water restrictions lead to murder: "A man has pleaded guilty to the manslaughter of a homeowner he wrongly accused of ignoring water restrictions. Todd Munter, 37, of Carringbah in Sydney's south, punched 66-year-old Ken Proctor in the face as he was watering his lawn at Sylvania last October, at a time when he was legally entitled to do so. Mr Proctor allegedly turned the hose on Munter, after he called him a "stupid old goat" for disregarding water restrictions, prompting a physical altercation. Munter was accused of punching him, pushing him to the ground and kicking him. In the New South Wales Supreme Court today, Justice Roderick Howie was told Mr Proctor died after suffering a heart attack as a result of the altercation. Munter pleaded not guilty to the charge of murder but guilty to manslaughter. Asked by the judge why Munter was not pleading guilty to murder, Crown prosecutor Terry Thorpe explained that Mr Proctor's death was the result of a heart attack".


A refrigerated beach??? "Versace, the renowned fashion house, is to create the world's first refrigerated beach so that hotel guests can walk comfortably across the sand on scorching days. The beach will be next to the the new Palazzo Versace hotel which is being built in Dubai where summer temperatures average 40C and can reach 50C. The beach will have a network of pipes beneath the sand containing a coolant that will absorb heat from the surface. The swimming pool will be refrigerated and there are also proposals to install giant blowers to waft a gentle breeze over the beach. The scheme is likely to infuriate environmentalists. The revelation comes as more than 11,000 politicians, green campaigners and others are gathered in Poznan, Poland, for the latest talks on cutting greenhouse gas emissions."


Pesky chipmunk: "Aw, nuts. That's likely what Hope Wideup thought when her car's turn signal and windshield wipers wouldn't work. It's also what she found later when she opened the hood. "There were thousands in there. They were everywhere," she said, speculating a chipmunk found its way into her car, which had been sitting idle for several weeks, and used the engine compartment as a storage depot for a trove of black walnuts. Wideup thinks it all started last fall when a chipmunk snatched a garden glove from her yard. She later found the glove in the engine compartment when she was trying to repair the broken turn signal. Unable to fix the problem, however, Wideup let the car sit unused for a couple of weeks and then heard a loud revving sound from the engine when she tried to start the vehicle. That's when she looked under the hood again and found the walnuts. "Apparently this little guy stuffed a bunch of these nuts in the accelerator throttle," said Wideup, who had to spend $242 for towing and repairs."


Token sentence for pedophile not good enough: "A paedophile was hacked to death in a frenzied assault by a suspected mob of vigilantes. Andrew Cunningham, 52, was found naked and soaked in blood at his caravan home after suffering multiple stab wounds to his head, neck and chest. He served four months in jail for a sex attack on a 15-year-old girl in 2000 and was on the Sex Offenders' Register until March this year. But Cunningham may also have been targeted over accusations he molested a young girl. Police are investigating if the attack in Wandsworth, South London, was an act of vengeance after his body was found on Wednesday."



And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 2:46 PM

 


Famous Australian becomes better known



No, you're not seeing things - this is Mercedes Corby. In a move that will no doubt turn more heads than her Channel 7 lawsuit and the 2005 paparazzi tantrum in Bali combined, the now-infamous sister of convicted drug smuggler Schapelle has stripped down for men's magazine Ralph. Having laid low for the past six months following her multi-million dollar defamation payout from Channel 7, the Bali-based 33-year-old made a secret visit to Australia last month with her mum Rosalie Rose after Schapelle, who was a beauty school student, told her to do the revealing interview.

Original report here





But they don't look very happy



Italy's Stefano Di Filippo and Anna Melnikova are the No. 1 Latin dance couple in the world.





THE NEWS

Strange new creatures found: "Striped rabbits, bright pink millipedes laced with cyanide and a spider bigger than a dinner plate are among a host of new species discovered in a remote wildlife hotspot. The Greater Mekong is described as one of the last scientifically unexplored regions of the world and it abounds in life seen nowhere else in the world. So little is known about the ecology of the region that previously unknown animals and plants have been turning up at a rate of two a week for a decade. At least 1,068 new species were identified in the Greater Mekong from 1997 to 2007 along with several thousand tiny invertebrates. Annamite striped rabbits, Nesolagus timminsi, with black and brown fur, were discovered in Vietnam and Laos in 2000 and are only the second species of striped rabbit to be identified. The other is in Sumatra, the two sharing a common ancestor that lived several million years ago. Among the most bizarre to be discovered was a hot-pink, spiny dragon millipede, Desmoxytes purpurosea. Several were found simultaneously in Thailand as they crawled over limestone rocks and palm leaves. To defend themselves from predators the millipedes have glands that produce cyanide. Scientists believe that the shocking-pink colouration is to signal to predators that they would make a fatal snack. "They would do well to heed this warning," concluded a WWF report on the Greater Mekong discoveries. A huntsman spider, named Heteropoda maxima, measured 30cm across and was found in caves in Laos. It was described as the "most remarkable" of 88 new species of spider located in Laos, Thailand and the Yunnan province of China."


Death on the dancefloor: "Minutes after telling his pregnant girlfriend "I love you", Mohamad "Tiger" Omar lay dying on a nightclub dance floor, stabbed in the chest during a brawl. Mr Omar was with a group of family and friends at the Beirut By Night Restaurant in Homebush early yesterday when he was attacked after coming to the aid of his girlfriend, who had been punched in the nose. His brother Mahmoud and another friend who went to his aid were also stabbed. Witnesses said the attackers earlier in the evening had yelled out, "Tiger, how are you?" and Mr Omar had waved back from across the room. Ms McDuff, 22 described watching the couple dancing happily together and then the final harrowing minutes they shared after Linda was punched and Mr Omar was stabbed near the heart about 1.30am." [Lebanese Muslims at work]


Man, 70, shoots rappers: "A Senegalese man in his 70s opened fire on a rap group, injuring four of them, during a live show because he thought they were making fun of him. According to widespread reports in the Senegalese media, the man allegedly thought the band was making fun of him in their song titled Angry Old Man. The band members and a fifth injured person, a female fan attending the concert, were taken to hospital to be treated. Rap is very popular in Senegal, especially among young people"


Cheap British supermarkets not so cheap: "They were billed as the saviours of the economic downturn, packing their shelves with cheap 'no-frills' food to help hard-up consumers through the credit crunch. But research shows that some budget food stores are actually more expensive than the 'big four' supermarkets when it comes to groceries. It found discount chain Aldi charged the most for a basket of basic shopping items, including bread, toilet rolls, washing-up liquid and wine, while Asda worked out the cheapest.... The Grocer, the industry magazine, carried out the research by choosing 50 essential household items and then selecting 33 available across Aldi, Lidl and Netto, as well as Tesco, Asda, Sainsbury's and Morrisons. It found that filling your trolley at Aldi would cost 30.76 pounds, 11.66 more than Asda's 19.10 bill."



And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 4:45 PM

 


It's times like this that I want to be a Russian

There have been some pretty unremarkable Misses World at times but this lady is a knockout



Ksenya Sukhinova from Russia was crowned Miss World 2008 after beating 108 other international beauties in a glittering extravaganza held in South Africa on Saturday.

As a Russian, she could even be a natural blonde





THE NEWS

Amazing oldsters in Japan: "Like most outstanding athletes, Takashi Shimokawara has an unvaryingly strict regimen of training and exercise. It begins before breakfast with stretches and bends. A brief jog is followed by press-ups, squat thrusts and horizontal leg raises. Rain or sun, Mr Shimokawara sticks to his routine, at the municipal stadium or around his home town of Kamaishi, northeastern Japan. It is this discipline that has won him two world records in the past year, in shot put and javelin, and he hopes to add another for discus next year. There is one fact, however, that elevates these achievements from the impressive to the extraordinary: Mr Shimokawara is 102 years old. As Japanese live longer and the number of centenarians rises to new levels, a new elite class is emerging: the Super Elderlies, or Genkinarians (from the word genki, meaning healthy and lively). In the arts, medicine, scholarship and, most strikingly of all, in sport, a small number of extremely old Japanese are not only keeping their heads above water, but surging forward. The head of one of Tokyo's leading hospitals, St Luke's, is the 97-year-old Shigeaki Hinohara. The world's oldest television newsreader is a 105-year-old lady named Shino Mori, who hosts a local show in Japan's remote southern Amakusa Islands along with two sprightly younger colleagues of 92 and 84."




Nude Virgin Mary cover prompts Playboy apology: "Playboy magazine was forced to issue an apology after it put a nude model resembling the Virgin Mary on the cover of the Mexican edition of the publication only days before a major festival dedicated to the mother of Jesus. The magazine, which hit newsstands on Dec 1 as ceremonies began leading to Friday's pilgrimage to the Mexico City shrine of the Virgin of Guadalupe, showed a model wearing nothing but a white cloth over her head and breasts. The model, Maria Florencia Onori, is pictured standing in front of a stained glass window with the cover line, "We Love You, Maria" in Spanish. The Virgin of Guadalupe, said to have appeared to a sixteenth century Indian peasant, is Mexico's most revered Roman Catholic figure and the annual pilgrimage to the Mexico City basilica dedicated to her is one of the world's largest religious events.




New steam car: "A British Steam Car is a step closer to breaking the longest held speed record after completing a number of successful runs. After a first successful low-speed run last week at Newton Park, the car was shipped to the MoD's Thorney Island facility near Portsmouth for a series of higher speed runs this week. A team of six engineers have been learning how to launch the car and turn it around quickly for its return run within the hour. Eventually Freezing temperatures forced the team to pack up and return to base in Lymington, Hampshire. The British team hope to break the land speed record of 128mph in California next year and have spoken to officials at Edwards Air Force Base about running the car on the dry lakebed, once it has dried out following winter rains. A team spokeswoman said: "It is the team's intention to victoriously claim the world record first at 150mph and then at a later date, 200mph mark.'"




Britain gets fast trains at last. Made in Japan: "Britain's own version of the Japanese bullet train raced into London on its maiden passenger voyage yesterday - at speeds of up to 140mph. The Javelin train completed the 56-mile journey from Ashford in Kent in just 37 minutes - shaving 46 minutes off the standard 83-minute trip. The œ260million Javelins will be the fastest operating domestic service trains in Britain, running at their maximum speed. In 2012 they will be used to whisk Olympics spectators from St Pancras in central London to the main 2012 Games site in Stratford, on the far east of the city, in just seven minutes. A total of 29 of the new trains will go into service on Kent to London routes at the end of next year, slashing journey times. The Class 395 train, designed and manufactured by Hitachi in Japan, is based on the same technology as the Japanese Shinkansen 'bullet' trains which can reach up to 186mph. Currently, the fastest trains on Britain's domestic rail network are Virgin's fleet of Pendelinos which travel at 125mph on the West Coast main line."




And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 5:58 PM

 


NEW STOCKMARKET TERMS

BULL MARKET-A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET-A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING-The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO-The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER-What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR-Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST-Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT-When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER-A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION-The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO-What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS-What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR-Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT-An archaic word no longer in use.





THE NEWS



Feisty Indian shopkeeper: "There are few problems that can't be solved with a nice hot cup of tea. As Varsha Patel showed when two robbers armed with 10in knives burst into her store. The feisty shopkeeper threw her tea at one man and hurled the empty mug at his sidekick. By the time she grabbed hold of a whisky bottle to throw at them as well, the balaclava-clad pair had beaten a hasty retreat. Mrs Patel, who is just 5ft, said she had no time to feel fear when she was confronted with a shopkeeper's nightmare. 'I was scared afterwards but at the time I just reacted on instinct,' she said. 'I have never been one to sit back and let people bully me. I am glad they ran away - I don't know what would have happened if there had been a stand-off.' ... 'I was just about to take my first sip of tea and threw the contents in his face as he came towards me. 'He staggered back a bit and his friend was still hanging around so I threw my empty mug at his face. 'I stepped back to grab a bottle of spirits and then they backed off and ran out.' After hurling the tea Mrs Patel chased the men out of the shop. They are thought to have fled in a blue Peugeot."


Abandoned ship: "Fourteen crew and officers, mostly from the Philippines, have been stranded for three months in an Argentine river on a cargo ship abandoned by its owner, surviving on charity donations of food and water. The Philippine consulate was working to help the crew, who had not been paid, leave the ship and fly home, a coast guard official said. The Symphony I, a Liberian-flagged vessel owned by Greek-based Harmony Navigation, sailed into Argentina's River Plate in September, planning to load soy oil, the coast guard said. But local authorities detained the ship because of lawsuits against its owner for not paying clients and providers. The company abandoned the vessel and the crew anchored it in the huge river, a few miles from the city of La Plata."




Pajamas are street wear in China: "Community leaders in Shanghai are trying to stop the habit of some city residents who walk outside in their pyjamas, state media have reported. The Rixin neighbourhood committee in the city's northeast has begun a campaign to discourage residents' longstanding habit of wearing pyjamas out of their bedrooms and on the streets, the state-run Youth Daily reported. "We're telling people not to wear pyjamas in the street because it looks very uncivilised," community official Guo Xilin said. The Shanghainese habit of wearing pyjamas in public emerged alongside China's economic reforms over the past 30 years as it became a sign of prosperity, because it meant people did not sleep in tattered old clothes."


Man wins court battle to prove he's alive: "A Romanian man has won a year-long fight to persuade the courts that he isn't dead. Gheroghe Stirbu, from Timisoara, tried to renew his identity card but was told by officials that he had been registered as dead. Bungling civil servants had mixed him up with another man but although Stirbu pointed out what they had done they refused to acknowledge their mistake until Stirbu won a 12 month legal claim to be declared alive. Judges renewed his status as alive - and then charged him $1,000 in court costs. Mr Stirbu said: "When the judge ruled in my favour I was absolutely delighted - and then seconds later was absolutely shocked when I found out I would have to pay so much in legal bills. "I will of course appeal the imposition of the costs but I am already beginning to wonder whether or not I would have been better off staying dead."



And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 4:11 PM

 


Not bad for an old lady



(Jennifer Aniston is 39. Interesting that she shows no sign of the fact that her father was a Cretan -- which may not mean what you think it does)





THE NEWS

Tough dog: "A dog shot while trying to protect his family is expected to recover. D-Boy the dog was shot when a thief tried to break into a home near the intersection of Northwest 42nd Street and Classen Boulevard. The dog's owner told KOCO that the veterinarian said, "If it wasn't for his hard head, he'd be dead." Police said the dog was shot once in the head and despite that, he kept attacking the thief. D-Boy was shot again for his doggedness. After shooting the dog three times, the man ran away, police said. Officers took D-Boy to a vet shortly thereafter. His owner said the officers even called the next day to check on him. Roberta Trawick said she's thankful for the police and for D-Boy. However, D-Boy's apparently been on edge since the incident and races to the door whenever someone comes to the home."




A lovely lot of puppies: "An Ipswich dog has given birth to what is believed to be Australia's largest litter of puppies. Indy, the Australian champion neapolitan mastiff, delivered 20 purebred puppies on Sunday. Two died, but the surviving puppies are thriving, according to their vet. The world record for a litter is held by a UK great dane, which gave birth to 24 pups in 2005. But Canine Control Council spokesman Rob Harrison said he was confident 20 was the largest Australian litter to date. Indy was impregnated via IVF because of a uterus infection but the size of the litter still shocked Indy's owners, Troy and Peta Grennan. The puppies will put on about 3kg a week and when fully grown will weigh up to 90kg. By the time they hit seven weeks, they will munch through more than 22kg of dried food every two days. Nine of the puppies, which are worth $2500 a head, have already been sold, and the Grennans will keep two, leaving seven up for grabs. Ms Grennan said caring for the puppies was a full-time job. "They have to be fed every three hours," she said. The Grennans said their friends were bringing them meals because they had little time to cook for themselves."


Australian cops may get security guards for protection: "Police are considering the drastic step of placing security guards at police stations in Perth after two arson attacks on stations in two days. The cars of two police officers were torched in the compound of Warwick police station in Perth's northern suburbs early today. The attack follows a similar incident at the Joondalup police station on Monday night when a ute was driven to the station's doors and set alight, causing extensive damage. Security at stations was being reviewed, including the option of placing security guards at stations considered at risk, West Australian Police Commissioner Karl O'Callaghansaid. "If we see this escalating we might have to place security guards or something like that in the short term," Mr O'Callaghan said. The second firebombing had sparked concerns among officers for their safety at work, he said."


An edgy life in tropical Australia: "Almost 200 crocodiles have been hauled from Darwin Harbour this year, an average of three every week. Last year 237 of the snappy Territory icons were sent packing by Parks and Wildlife officers, ten less than the 2004 record. The figures prompted a warning to swimmers, jetskiers, dogwalkers and windsurfers to be on the look-out for the formidable animals that call the Top End ocean and its surrounding waterways home. In total, 190 crocs were dragged out of the harbour and a further 30 crocodiles removed from outside the Darwin management zone area as part of the Department of Natural Resources, Environment, The Arts and Sport (NRETAS) crocodile management program. NRETAS senior ranger Tom Nichols said a large number of crocodiles measured about 3.6m in length, with the largest tipping the scales at 4.4 metres. [14 ft]. "We remove crocodiles from the harbour to reduce the risk of crocodile incidents," Mr Nichols said. "On average we remove around three crocodiles every week." Mr Nichols and his partner Robert Risk have spent the last year removing crocodiles from swimming pools, backyards, man-made dams, tourist spots, popular beaches and marinas."



And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 5:52 PM

 


JUST LOTS OF NEWS TODAY

Gammelfleischparty, the German youth word of year: "German is famous for its long words - and today's youth are just as adept at creating new ones as their predecessors, to judge by a poll released on Wednesday by the publishers of Langenscheidt dictionaries. Judges chose "gammelfleischparty", or "spoiled meat party", - an unflattering term for a gathering of people over 30 - as the "youth word of the year 2008". The word "gammelfleisch" was in the news frequently during the year when it was discovered that meat packers had been regularly supplying some kebab restaurants with past-due products."


Chinese girl loses hearing after passionate kiss ruptures her eardrum: "A young woman has partially lost her hearing after her boyfriend ruptured her eardrum during an excessively passionate kiss. The twentysomething woman was taken to hospital in the Chinese city of Zhuhai, in southern Guangdong province, completely deaf in her left ear after the smooch. 'The kiss reduced pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear,' a medic called Dr Li told state newspaper The China Daily. The doctor said the woman's hearing would return to normal within two or three months. 'While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution,' the newspaper added."




Queen Victoria's sleigh goes on display at Windsor Castle: "A sleigh used by Queen Victoria and Prince Albert went on display for the first time at Windsor Castle to mark the festive season. Victoria and Albert often enjoyed rides around Windsor in the sleigh, made by Hooper & Co. The Prince would drive the carriage, which was pulled by a pair of horses with harnesses decorated with ostrich plumes and silver bells. The royal couple's children travelled in a smaller sleigh pulled by a pony. An extract from the Queen's journal of February 12, 1855, records an outing with Princess Clementine of Orleans. In it she wrote: "Another sharp frost and a fine day - Albert drove Clem and me out in the sledge . . . with the exception of two or three little places, we went beautifully and as smoothly as though we were on ice." [More detail here]


Jesus was born June 17, say scientists: "It may not be too late to send the presents back, as astronomers have calculated that Christmas should not be celebrated on December 25 - but on June 17 instead. Researchers tracked the appearance of the 'Christmas star', which the Bible states three wise men followed to find Jesus. Australian stargazer Dave Reneke used complex computer software to chart the exact positions of all celestial bodies and map the night sky as it would have appeared over the Holy Land more than 2,000 years ago. He discovered that a bright star really did appear over Bethlehem 2,000 years ago - but pinpointed the date of Christ's birth as June 17, and not December 25. Scientists claim the Christmas star was most likely a magnificent conjunction of the planets Venus and Jupiter, which were so close together they would have shone unusually brightly as a single 'beacon of light' which appeared suddenly. Mr Reneke says the wise men probably interpreted it as the sign they had been waiting for, and they followed the 'star' to Christ's birthplace in a stable in Bethlehem, as described in the Bible. Using the St Matthew's Gospel as a reference point, Mr Reneke pinpointed the planetary conjunction, which appeared in the constellation of Leo, to the exact date of June 17 in the year 2BC."




A mini Houdini: "Joshua Bishop [above], 3, of Fulham Gardens, managed to climb into the toy-vending machine at a Christies Beach play cafe a couple of months ago, get the Pokemon toy he was after and climb out without the help of firefighters - unlike a Darwin boy who had to be cut free performing the same stunt. Joshua's mum, Samantha Bishop, said this was not the first time Joshua had surprised them with his agility. "He climbs over everything. He finds a way to get in and out of everything, he is a little Houdini," Ms Bishop said. Despite finding the situation humorous, Ms Bishop did have concerns for other kids who might try and follow Joshua's example."




Long locks make waves while short hair is less sexy, say men: "Men find long, wavy locks the sexiest hair style on a woman, according to a new poll. The feminine look, sported by X-Factor judge Cheryl Cole and TV presenter Kelly Brook came top with a staggering 43 per cent of men voting it their sexiest hairdo. 'Friends' actress Jennifer Aniston's long straight do came second followed by the classic short bob, seen on Umbrella singer Rihanna. Straight mid-length styles, similar to Radio One host Fearne Cotton and Gwyneth Paltrow came fourth while the pixie crop, famously sported by Victoria Beckham finished the top five. Karen Moore, of TRESemme Philips hair appliances, said: "Hair is such a defining part of a woman's appearance... Men also appeared to have a strong preference for shiny hair - with 72% billing it as sexy over hair without gloss... The poll also discovered that 80 per cent of blokes reckon you can tell a lot about a girl from her hair style, but 18 per cent admitted they rarely notice if a girl changes her locks. And a quarter would never be brave enough to give an honest opinion of a new hairstyle."




Stunt dog: "Auggie, a Jack Russell terrier, performs stunts on a skateboard in Venice Beach. The dog, which is 6, has been taught to ride the ramps by Omar Muller, who trains animals for the television and film industry. "He's happy and wagging his tail while doing the tricks," Mr Muller, of the Miami Off-Leash Dog Training Academy, said. Mr Muller uses a lead to keep Auggie steady and help him up the ramps. He has trained two dogs to ride skateboards and said that most dogs can to learn to do the same if they are offered plenty of treats."




Bird-loving drug dealer: "Arrested and charged in a major anti-drug operation, this woman looks a little like a modern-day pirate - complete with a parrot on her shoulder. In fact the 40-year-old was gleaning comfort from her pet lorikeet as she hid her face. Images of her arrest were released today by police following a seven-month investigation into drug supply in Sydney's inner-west. Officers allege she supplied amphetamines, ecstasy, cocaine and heroin from her home in Nelson St, Annandale. She was locked up and refused bail"


And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 12:05 PM

 


A wise priest

A truck driver would amuse himself by running over lawyers. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying "THUMP", and then swerve back onto the road. (at this point some of you are probably wondering how the trucker could distinguish the lawyers from the humans. Obviously he saw the trail of slime they left!)

One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over.

He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

"I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the priest.

"No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck." The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road.

Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer. However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "THUD". Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer."

"That's okay", replied the priest. "I got him with the door!"





THE NEWS

Happiness is a warm puppy: "Two puppies saved the life of a toddler lost in a forest by keeping him warm during a harrowing night of freezing temperatures. Jaylynn Thorpe, 3, wandered away from his babysitter at 4pm and was missing for 21 hours as hundreds of friends, family and police searched for him in the thick forest of Halifax County, Virginia, fearing the worst. "We didn't forget the issue that -8C was almost unbearable," dad James Thorpe said. Officials said yesterday the lost boy and the two family puppies wandered up to 2km in the dark, even across a highway, but it wasn't until late afternoon that members of the search team found him sitting by a tree, the two puppies nestled against him. Rescue team member Jerry Gentry said the little boy didn't say anything, instead he "just opened his arms up like, 'I'm ready to go'." Mother Sarah Ingram said: "When I first saw him, he was like, 'Momma, I got cold. I slept in the woods last night. The puppies kept me warm'. He told me that ... the dogs slept up against him. And I'm sure the body heat kept him warm."


Ralph's missing boobs found: "More than 100,000 pairs of missing inflatable breasts intended for an Australian men's magazine promotion have turned up in Melbourne. The shipment of plastic boobs from China had been missing for more than a week after Chinese officials lost the paperwork and put them on the wrong boat, a Ralph magazine spokeswoman said. They had been due to dock in Sydney last week, but have since turned up at a Melbourne dock, where they've been sitting for a week. Workers are now frantically working to put them in bags to go out with the December 15 issue. Ralph editor Santi Pintado said the incident had cost the magazine $30,000. "If we'd found them a day later, it'd have been too late to get them on the next issue," Pintado said. "You'd think the Chinese economy was in enough trouble without misplacing 130,000 pairs of boobs." The magazine is expected to break the Guinness world record for the most boobs given away at one time."




Boy stuck in toy-grab machine: "Firefighters were called to a bizarre rescue mission at a Northern Territory shopping centre after a little boy climbed up the prize chute of a claw arcade game and got stuck inside with the toys. The toddler is believed to be just two-and-a-half years old. A six-man crew from the Palmerston Fire Station rushed to the nearby Oasis Shopping Village after receiving a call that a child was trapped in a toy vending machine at 3.25pm on Saturday. Shoppers watched on - most of them trying to control their laughter - as the firies used the jaws of life and then a hacksaw to cut the padlock on the machine. The firies then had to pry the glass door open - all while the boy's parents stood by trying to calm him down through the glass. One onlooker told the Northern Territory News that everyone found it "extremely amusing". Senior firefighter Brendon Magnoli said it was "definitely'' one of the most bizarre call-outs he had to attend in his seven years on the job. "We certainly don't get these often,'' he said. "When we got the call we actually just assumed he'd got an arm or head stuck, so we were a little shocked when we arrived to find him inside.''




A real dim bulb: "Honesty Knight, 32, 112 W. Waid Ave., was a front-seat passenger in a vehicle that Trooper Eric Perkins stopped at Willard and Madison streets for a traffic violation. When Perkins was talking to the driver about the traffic stop, Knight obtained the officer's approval to light a cigarette. She was arrested after Perkins asked to see the cigarette, which contained marijuana, not tobacco. The Muncie woman was preliminarily charged with possession of paraphernalia and taken to the Delaware County jail, where she was released after posting a $2,500 bond. According to court records, Knight has been convicted of forgery (in 1998), receiving stolen property (1999), and escape and theft (both last May)."


And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 5:51 PM

 


Report from a home handyman

BENCH DRILL: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your jaffa cakes across the room

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint and rust off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints.

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.

SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW and TIN SNIPS: Two of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

MOLE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. Imitation mole-grips can be used to irreparably mar an otherwise nice project or part. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

WELDING GLOVES: Heavy duty leather gloves used to prolong the conduction of intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub you want the bearing race out of.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16" socket you've been searching for the last 45 minutes. Usually fits metric bolts with the aid of a hammer.

HYDRAULIC BIKE JACK: Used for tipping a motorbike on its side

EIGHT-FOOT LONG 2X4 plank: Used for levering a motorbike upright after using above.

TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters after using above and wire wheel wires.

STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool, ten times harder than any known drill bit, that snaps neatly off in bolt holes thereby ending any possible future use.

SCREWDRIVER 1/2 x 24-INCH : A very large pry bar that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle.

FLOOD LIGHT: The home mechanic's own tanning booth, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found in garages at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 100-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. Also casts a dark shadow directly onto the area you are working on and when repositioned it blinds you.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: as the name implies, to strip of the heads of Phillips screws.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws.

PRY BAR: A tool used to damage the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses shorter than required.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent to the object you are trying to hit.

MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard boxes. Also so sharp it is used to gash open hands but yet so blunt it won't cut through a tie wrap.

BOLLOX TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "BOLLOX" at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.





THE NEWS

British women now have more sexual partners than men: "Being bold and brazen in the bedroom won Carrie Bradshaw and her friends a legion of female fans. But viewers who think the 'anything goes' sexual antics in Sex And The City is fiction should perhaps think again. Life, it would appear, is more than a match for art. Young women are becoming more promiscuous, with more sexual partners than men, researchers have found. By the age of 21 they have had sex with an average of nine lovers - two more than their male partner. And a quarter have slept with more than ten partners in the five years since losing their virginity - compared with a fifth of young men. Young women are also twice as likely to be unfaithful, with 50 per cent admitting they have cheated on a partner - half at least twice. Yet if their man was caught being unfaithful, 99 per cent of the 2,000 women surveyed said they would show him the door. The sex survey, for More magazine, also found women crave more sex but still believe men enjoy it more than they do. The survey follows a U.S. study earlier this year that found teenage girls who watch a lot of TV shows with a high sexual content, such as Friends and Sex And The City, are twice as likely to become pregnant."




Cartoon kids are people, judge says: "Cartoon characters are people too, a judge has ruled in the case of a man convicted over cartoons based on The Simpsons, in which children are shown having sex. In the New South Wales Supreme Court today, Justice Michael Adams ruled that a fictional cartoon character was a "person" within the meaning of the relevant state and commonwealth laws. Alan John McEwan was appealing his February conviction for possessing child pornography and using his computer to access child pornography. "The alleged pornography comprised a series of cartoons depicting figures modelled on members of the television animated series The Simpsons," the judge said. The cartoons showed characters such as Bart, Lisa and Maggie Simpson having sex. McEwan was convicted and fined $3000 and placed on a good behaviour bond. "In my view, the magistrate was correct in determining that, in respect of both the commonwealth and the NSW offences, the word 'person' included fictional or imaginary characters ...," the judge said. "... The mere fact that the figure depicted departed from a realistic representation in some respects of a human being did not mean that such a figure was not a 'person'." In dismissing the appeal, the judge ordered each party to pay its own legal costs in the first case dealing with the "difficult" issue".




City mayor says she's no blonde bimbo: "A Queensland mayor is under pressure to get a makeover because male councillors reportedly say her blonde hair makes her look like a bimbo. Logan City councillors fear Mayor Pam Parker's golden locks make her seem a stereotypical "dumb blonde", and prevent the council from being taken seriously. Cr Parker said she was saddened by the remarks, made behind her back, but refuses to become a brunette. Instead she is branding some of her male councillors "dinosaurs". "My blonde hair is my trademark," she said. "I've been blonde all my life and I intend to stay blonde. "I think it's sad that women have to be judged on their appearance. "I don't think the people who make these sort of superficial comments actually understand what they are saying, but fortunately I'm too mature to worry about it. "My husband likes the way I look, which is great, and when I look in the mirror, I like what I see, too." Cr Parker, 53, is Logan's first female mayor. The married mum-of-two was elected as mayor of Logan City Council in March, with 57 per cent of the vote - beating tough male competition from veteran Labor councillor Tom Barton and former Logan mayor John Freeman. "I am always underestimated," she said. "But I am a woman of substance who is known for getting the job done for the greater good of the community."




Accused of cooking his girlfriend, 'cannibal' found dead: "A US man [above] accused of killing his girlfriend and cooking parts of her body earlier this year died on Sunday after being found unresponsive in his jail cell. Smith County Justice of the Peace James Meredith ordered an autopsy for Christopher McCuin, who was pronounced dead after being taken from the Smith County Jail to East Texas Medical Centre. Smith County Chief Deputy Gary Pinkerton said they do not believe McCuin's death was suspicious, noting he was in a jail cell by himself. Meredith also said foul play wasn't suspected. The death is being investigated by the Texas Rangers. McCuin, 26, of Tyler, was charged with capital murder in January in the death of 21-year-old Jana Shearer, of Whitehouse. Police said they found an ear boiling in a pot on a stovetop at the crime scene, and a hunk of flesh on a plate and impaled on a fork at the kitchen table. Authorities say it was unclear whether McCuin consumed any part of the woman's body."



And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 2:49 PM

 


The weirdest legal cases of 2008

10. Although grunting is not a specific offence under English law, a 36-year-old bodybuilder was fined 70 pounds at a magistrates' court in Kent after his workouts became intolerable to his neighbours. Giran Jobe's grunting during his regular two-hour sessions - and the noise when his power weights came crashing down on the floor of his top-floor flat - was so bad it reached as much as 100 decibels, according to monitors installed by the local council. In other words, as loud as the noise on the platform of a Tube station as a train arrives. Jobe was fined after 47 breaches of a noise abatement order; he pledged in future to focus on push-ups.

9. A woman in the US sued L'Oreal after her hair turned from blonde to dark brown after using a colouring product. Charlotte Feeney accused the cosmetics company of negligence, claiming that the ordeal had left her clinically depressed and had impeded her social life. "I stay at home more than ever [and] wear hats most of the time," she said, suggesting that all hair colouring products should come with a warning label. But a judge rejected her claim, noting that Feeney had offered "no facts, no opinions and no standards" to support her case.

8. Two residents of Lesbos, an island in Greece, launched legal action in a bid to win the exclusive right to call themselves Lesbians. The islanders claimed that the term's modern day sexual connotations have caused "mental distress". History, at least, was against the action: the term "lesbian" originated with Sappho, a 7th-century poet from Lesbos who was known for expressing her love for other women in verse. The case did not succeed.

7. An unusual case in Italy rested on an allegation of double trouble: identical twin sisters were prosecuted for a long-running scam in which one allegedly filled in for the other at work. Gabriela Odisio, a lawyer and part-time judge from Magenta, allegedly used her sister Patrizia to impersonate her when she was double-booked, allowing her to draw fees for being in two places at once. The sisters managed to fool everyone for three years, prosecutors said. Their ruse was only discovered after they were overheard discussing their plans by a client.

6. Concerned that too much bad news was affecting the "health and life of the people", politicians in Romania attempted to pass a law requiring radio and television media to broadcast at least one positive news story for every gloomy one. The country's Constitutional Court upheld a challenge to the new law, noting: "News is news. It is neither positive nor negative. It simply reflects reality." The good news legislation was doomed to fail anyway, as it would likely have violated European Union human rights laws guaranteeing freedom of expression.

5. Courts sometimes have to make difficult decisions about whether something belongs in a particular legal category. But new ground was broken when the Supreme Court of Austria was asked to rule that Matthew Hiasl Pan, a chimpanzee, is a person. An animal-rights group launched the unusual legal bid in order to legally adopt Matthew after the shelter he had lived in for 25 years closed. The group argued he should legally be considered a person on the grounds that chimpanzees share 99.4 per cent of human DNA. But the judge ruled that it could not bring the case because it was not authorised to speak for Matthew.

4. The term "fashion police" was not just a metaphor in this case in Florida. A teenager was arrested for wearing trousers that sagged significantly below his waist, showing, as the police noted, "four to five inches of blue and black boxer shorts". Residents of Riviera Beach, tired of seeing young people walking around town with their backsides hanging out, passed the "saggy pants" law in March. A first offence carries a fine of $150; a second, $300. However, the defendant escaped by the skin of his low-slung trousers after a judge ruled that the law was unconstitutional.

3. A court in Macedonia heard a case in which a brown bear was accused of stealing honey. Zoran Kiseloski, a beekeeper, tried numerous attempts to stop the bear getting into his hives, including flooding the area with generator-driven light and blaring out music from a stereo system. Kiseloski's choice of "turbo-folk" should have been enough to drive any creature away but the bear kept coming back. Eventually, Kiseloski took legal action - and succeeded. As the bear didn't have a legal owner, the court ordered the state to compensate Kiseloski, awarding him 1,700 pounds in damages.

2. A woman in London escaped a parking fine with a novel excuse. The woman, a belly dancer, had stopped her car in a restricted parking zone, left her vehicle stationary with the engine running and went off to perform. After receiving a ticket, she explained that it had been necessary to leave the engine running because the car was full of snakes used in her exotic routine. The running engine kept the reptiles warm so that they wouldn't fall asleep during the dance. Her fine was cancelled.

1. What's in a name? A nine-year-old girl involved in a custody hearing in New Zealand drew international attention for her name: "Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii". The judge decided that the name was a form of abuse and ordered the girl placed under the guardanship of the court. The judge noted that it was part of a wider phenomenon; other eccentric names given to children in New Zealand in recent times included "Number 16 Bus Shelter" and, for twins, "Benson" and "Hedges" and "Fish" and "Chips".

Original report here





THE NEWS

Lax security at British jail: "Almost a million pounds worth of cocaine has disappeared from a double-locked cell at a police station on the Falkland Islands. Twenty-nine packets of the drug had been seized from a fishing vessel at the end of October and officers decided to store the evidence in the Port Stanley station pending any trial. Two suspects arrested in connection with the seizure were also held at the police station but were allowed out of their cells at night and had the run of a corridor to use a toilet and a kitchen. However, the corridor also gave access to the cell storing the drugs, as well as weapons used by the Royal Falkland Islands Police. The cell is said to have a large gap between the bottom of the door and the floor. Last week officers found that 23 of the 29 packets of drugs, weighing over 30 kilograms and with an estimated street value of more than œ1 million, had gone missing. A court on the island was told that a defendant, who has been charged with theft and perverting the course of justice, had taken advantage of his "freedom to roam" and found the drugs. Penguin News, an island newspaper, reported that it was said that he simply put his hand through the "substantial gap" at the bottom of the door and removed the packets of drugs one by one over several days."




Land art: "On the shores of a lake, I am surrounded by. . . snow? It looks uncannily like it. But this being Utah's Great Salt Lake, it's a different kind of white stuff. Before me, the expanse of silver-blue water stretches out to the horizon, while behind me, the ground rises steeply into a green, rocky hill. A hawk circles above - the only other living thing apparent in this sweeping, lonely landscape. I've come to this remote spot to see a piece of art - and, in fact, I'm standing on it. Which might sound like sacrilege, but it's precisely what the artist, Robert Smithson, intended. The work is, among other things, a path. Smithson, who died in a plane crash at the age of 35, is something of a cult figure. Fascinated by arcane topics such as the structure of crystals, he was a pioneer of land art - one of a number of 1960s artists who turned their back on the studio and made art (often on a monumental scale) in the middle of nowhere




Redbacks' sex and death web: "When it comes to redback romance, size doesn't matter but a talent for music and poetry and the offer of a fine meal is vital. The only problem for the male redback spider is that it is the meal, and its partner starts eating it while the pair are doing the business. The musical part of the seduction comes in the form of the male plucking the massively larger female's web, "sort of like strumming a guitar and it's hopefully sweet music to the female," University of NSW postdoctoral fellow Dr Michael Kasumovic said. Chemical signals from the male which charm the female into allowing him closer are a form of poetry for the Aussie arachnid. Dr Kasumovic has delved into the love life of the redback and co-authored a paper published in the prestigious Journal of Evolutionary Biology about the sexual success of various sizes of male redback. "The web strumming and chemical 'poetry' are important for all males during courtship," he said. "But what we found is that the males vary in size and big males are more successful in copulating than smaller ones if they both get to a female's web at the same time. They just outmuscle them. But the diminutive males have their own advantages - they have 10 times the paternity rate because they're quicker to mature and faster on their feet, so they can get to the females before the big ones. "Size isn't the only ruler by which we can measure a male's quality."




Mario makes way for Shakespeare on Nintendo DS in HarperCollins deal: "Nintendo, the Japanese video games company that brought us Donkey Kong and Mario the Plumber, is to announce a deal with the publisher HarperCollins today to make literary classics available to read on its DS portable games consoles. The 100 Classic Book Collection ranges from Shakespeare and Dickens to Jane Austen and the Bront‰ sisters. It will cost about œ20 and will be available initially only in Britain. Readers will turn the pages by brushing a finger across the screen. If the collection is a success, Nintendo may expand the range of books available. Other technology giants are trying to gain the upper hand in the rush towards reading books on screen. The Sony Reader, which can hold about 160 titles, was released in September. Users can choose from thousands of titles to down-load from Waterstones' website."



And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 5:01 PM

 


French romance

Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air.

Marie leans over to Pierre and says: "Pierre, kiss me!" Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips.

"What are you doing, Pierre?", says the startled Marie.

"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I like to have red wine!

She smiles and they start kissing. When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, "Pierre, kiss me lower."

Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts.

"Pierre! What are you doing?', asks the bewildered Marie.

"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I like to have white wine!"

They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, "Pierre, kiss me lower!"

Our hero rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights it on fire.

Marie shrieks and dives into the river. Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously,

"PIERRE, WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I go down, I go down in flames!"





THE NEWS

Leaky Britain: Plan to stop ID card leaks is ... leaked: "Jacqui Smith, the home secretary, has suffered fresh embarrassment from a new Whitehall leak disclosing that ministers are seeking new powers to search the homes of staff working on ID cards. An 11-page confidential Home Office document - which was sent to a campaigner against ID cards - suggests that the employees' homes could be entered without the need for a police warrant. The measures outlined in the document appear to be designed to prevent the employees of five companies, all bidding for work on the ID cards scheme, from leaking damaging information about work on the national identity register."


Advertised in British police magazine: leg irons and neck collars `ideal for dictators': "One of Britain's most popular police magazines was under fire last night after running an advert for an internet retailer that sells medieval-style leg irons and neck collars. The site boasts that some of its products are `ideal for the budding dictator who has little or no interest in human rights'. Those who visit thehandcuffshop.com can purchase conventional handcuffs, including some that are standard issue among British police officers. But the firm also sells leg spreaders that hold prisoners in a kneeling position, wall-anchored handcuffs and Victorian-design neck and leg- iron combinations. The website's advert appears in the For Sale column of Police, which is published monthly by the Police Federation of England and Wales. On offer is a `really heavy neck collar', priced at 49.90 pounds, advertised as part of a `small but expanding range based on the slave ship design."


Smuggler makes ass of himself: "A would-be smuggler was arrested after trying to outrun border police with $600,000 of cigarettes in a horse and cart. Police challenged Janos Jakab as he crossed Romania's northern border with the Ukraine carrying nearly 100,000 packets of cigarettes and tobacco. After a short chase police outran the cart and arrested Jakab. A spokesman for the local border police said: "In general smugglers are becoming more and more sophisticated in their methods of getting contraband across borders. But this case proved the exception to the rule. "We have a fleet of high-powered vehicles that can chase down the fastest cars. Outrunning our officers was never a possibility - even if he had a thoroughbred racehorse strapped to his cart."


Woman finds ring after 35 years: "A mother who lost a gold ring 35 years ago when it slipped through a crack in the floorboards of a chapel has finally got it back. Carys Williams never forgot that she lost her precious signet ring in Moriah Chapel, Gwyddelwern, near Corwen, just a fortnight after she was given it. She gave up hope of ever seeing it again but recently drove past the chapel and noticed it was being demolished - and grabbed her chance, reports the North Wales Post. She told contractors the story but was informed it was too dangerous to search for it herself. The workmen promised they would have a look and Carys left, thinking that was the end of it. But one of the workmen riddled out the soil under the floorboards for two hours and found it - as good as new. The discovery was all the more poignant because she received the ring back just two weeks after her father died. Carys was given it by her parents on her 16th birthday. "The workman said that he was delighted that he had found it and had put it on his own finger in case it got lost again!"



And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 1:25 PM

 


Battle of the sexes

'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'

'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.


Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'





THE NEWS

The English want their police back: "Flat beer, freezing winters and department store undies are being used to try to entice police back to the UK. Advertisements set to run in Australia next week will call on expat officers to return home to work as bobbies. The "Homesick and Away" campaign is reminding the officers of all the things they are missing out on. Sunday roasts, Cadbury's chocolate (it apparently has a different taste in the UK), and a traditional cup of English tea top the list. But there's also "real ale", a possible white Christmas and underwear from department store Marks and Spencer. The campaign is being run for the Leicestershire Constabulary in central England, which has 130 positions available. Perhaps wary that the list will not attract too many people home, officers are also being offered a $22,600 relocation package."


UK: Hamlet ditches real skull: "The Royal Shakespeare Company is to stop using a real skull in Hamlet as it is "too distracting for the audience". The use of Polish pianist Andre Tchaikovsky's skull had been kept a carefully guarded secret during the play's four month run in Stratford.But then leading man David Tennant disclosed that the skull was real and had belonged to a Shakespeare fan, reports the Daily Telegraph.Mr Tchaikovsky left his skull to the RSC in 1982 after he died of cancer to be used on stage in Hamlet. It took a quarter of a century for him to posthumously appeared as Yorick at Stratford.Now the RSC has confirmed that they are no longer planning to use the skull of Mr Tchaikovsky when the show transfers to the West End despite Mr Tchaikovsky's dying wishes.It is thought, after the publicity, audiences had begun to over-react when they saw the skull."


Garden moss that smells like cannabis attracts police raid on oldsters ... and the local drug gang: "As a retired engineer in his late seventies, Ivor Wiltshire makes an unlikely drug fiend. But the smell of cannabis around his semi-detached home was unmistakable. It was so strong that his nextdoor neighbour was even threatened by a drug gang who broke in and demanded: 'Give us the weed, man'. Days later Mr Wiltshire and his wife Margaret returned from a holiday in Madeira to discover that the drugs squad had battered down their front door and searched their property. All of this was a mystery to the 77-year-old grandfather, who has had no sense of smell since a nose operation 30 years ago. He was finally told by police, however, that the source of the trouble was moss phlox, a common evergreen which grows vivid pink flowers in the spring. Although it looks nothing like cannabis, it gives off a pungent aroma similar to the drug. Mr Wiltshire has now dug it up and lodged a complaint with the Independent Police Complaints Commission."


Old diary exposes Cambridge University: "The spires of Cambridge, its wooden punts, ancient colleges, greens and historic dining halls, do not generally conjure up images of drinking and prostitution. But for a visiting 19th-century American student, whose diary of his time at the university is being published for the first time in 100 years, the crooked streets of the university city were full of immorality. Charles Astor Bristed, who spent five years at Trinity College studying classics in the 1840s, said that students would "work hard and play hard", and his contemporaries saw prostitution as something that was avoided only by those who were "frigid, highly religious or seeking physical benefits". "There is a careless and undisguised way of talking about gross vice (prostitution) . . . It is talked of as a thing which is on the whole natural, excusable and, perhaps, to most men necessary." Bristed, who at the age of 20 had already graduated from Yale, also complained about the "villainously doctored Cambridge wines". .. He was surprised how badly dressed the British were, and he was surprised at how boring and monotonous the food was. But the thing that most shocked him about Cambridge was the immorality."



And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 1:18 PM

 


Forget crazy old laws. Britain has crazy new laws

Britons are forbidden from disturbing packs of eggs and from selling game killed on a Sunday, it was revealed Thursday by an opposition MP who condemned ministers for introducing ridiculous laws.

The day after Prime Minister Gordon Brown's government laid out its legislative agenda for the coming year, Liberal Democrat lawmaker Chris Huhne noted the stream of sometimes "completely bizarre" new offences it had created. Since the Labour party took power in 1997 under then prime minister Tony Blair, it has created 3,600 new criminal offences, Huhne said -- adding this was "massively complicating" the job of police and the criminal justice system.

"Some of these offences are completely bizarre -- for example, the offence of causing a nuclear explosion," he told members of parliament (MPs). "The idea that anyone might cause a nuclear explosion without killing anybody, and therefore being subject to a possible charge of murder, is extremely far-fetched."

Other new offences include "wilfully pretending to be a barrister", "disturbing a pack of eggs when instructed not to by an authorised officer" and "offering for sale a game bird killed on a Sunday or Christmas day", he said. Huhne accused the government of doing nothing to repeal these laws. Justice minister Jack Straw asked for a full list of the ones the MP wanted removed from the statute books so that he could review them.

Original report here





THE NEWS



Playmate in naked protest against Japanese whaling: "A playboy Playmate stopped traffic with a topless protest against Japanese whaling. Argentinean model Vanessa Carbone stripped down to a teeny thong outside the Japanese embassy in Santiago, Chile. The protestors have demanded that the Chilean government declare the country's territorial waters in the Pacific Ocean a whale sanctuary. Japan is forbidden under international law to kill whales for commercial purposes, but kill a number each year in what they describe as "scientific research". Anti-whaling organisations claim that the research program is a front for commercial whaling, that the sample size is needlessly large and that equivalent information can be obtained by non-lethal means."


Generous Australian welfare payment: "War veteran Bob Jones couldn't believe his luck when told his pension was being increased - until he realised it was going up by 1c a fortnight. Mr Jones, 71, received a letter on Tuesday from the Department of Veterans Affairs telling him of the increase. But any excitement at an unexpected windfall was short-lived when he found his new fortnightly payment was $653.65 - an increase of 1c. "I would have been better off getting nothing at all," he told The Cairns Post from his Innisfail home yesterday. "The cost of the paper and mail out would be much more than the increase to my bank account. "I've told the kids not to go fighting over the increase to their inheritance." The former air force sergeant, who was part of the evacuation of Saigon that signalled the end of the Vietnam War, had hoped to use the extra money to help his sick daughter. So he called the department to double-check the amount and was told the increase was part of a routine "deeming re-adjustment" sent to every pensioner in Australia".


49 arrested for 'satanic' clothes: "Police have arrested 49 people this week in a northern Iranian city during a crackdown on "satanic" clothes, according to an IRNA news agency report. The measures are the latest in a country-wide campaign against Western cultural influence in the Islamic Republic, where strict dress codes are enforced. "Police confronted rascals and thugs who appeared in public wearing satanic fashions and unsuitable clothing," Qaemshahr city police commander Mahmoud Rahmani told IRNA. Mr Rahmani also said that five barber shops were shut and 20 more warned for "promoting Western hairstyles". In the past, such crackdowns have lasted a few weeks or months, but the current campaign was launched in 2007 and has not let up. It includes measures against men sporting spiky "Western" hairstyles or women wearing tight trousers and high boots. Women are supposed to wear clothing that covers their hair and disguises the shape of their bodies. But some, particularly in cities, wear headscarves pushed back well beyond their hairlines and sport tight-fitting outfits. "




A380 superjumbo too quiet, say pilots: "The Airbus A380 superjumbo is so quiet it's stopping pilots from sleeping during rest breaks on long-haul flights, according to reports. Flight International says Emirates pilots have complained that the lack of engine noise is preventing them from sleeping in the crew rest area. The constant buzz of engine noise usually drowns out the sounds of passengers, but pilots says they are being kept awake by crying babies, flushing toilets and call bells. The airline has asked Airbus for a solution to the problem, the website reports. "We are expecting to hear back from them by the middle of the month," Emirates senior vice-president, fleet, Captain Ed Davidson is quoted as saying. The relative quietness of the A380 has been much talked about since the aircraft first took to the skies last year"



And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 1:13 PM

 


What's happened to the Latin lover?

While Britain topped this week's poll for casual sex, Italy ranked a surprisingly monastic 11th. So where does that leave the reputation of the Latin lothario?

Many years ago, in Venice, I met a girl. Actually no, that's not true. I met two girls. And I was with two friends. There was a degree of jostling. We didn't talk about it, we British men. We just circled, nonchalantly, and squired them to galleries for the best part of a week. We plied them with cheap Italian wine and told amusing tales. They laughed, threw back their long hair, touched us intimately on the forearms, and then bogged off, really quite abruptly, with a pair of 3ft tall, purring, hirsute dwarfs who roared up on a Vespa while we were chastely admiring some sort of fountain. That was that. Never saw them again. Never heard a peep.

That's how long it takes an Italian to steal your woman. Thirty seconds. I know. I've seen. And yet, in New Scientist, researchers from Bradley University, Illinois, suggest that, of all major Western nations, southern Europeans have less casual sex than almost anybody. Out of the 15 countries that they surveyed, Britain came top. Italy came eleventh, Spain was thirteenth, Greece fourteenth and Portugal came fifteenth. This is a surprise. I'm prepared to concede that the Greeks and Portuguese may have been somewhat riding on the coat-tails of others in the romance stakes. But Casanova, it is worth remembering, was from Venice, not Vauxhall. Those star-cross'd lovers were Romeo and Juliet, not Roger and Julie.

Along the coast in Spain, they even have a word, piropo, that refers to a special sort of flirtatious, poetic compliment. "If beauty were a sin," a Spaniard might ooze, for example, "you'd never be forgiven." And still, if this survey is to be believed, hardly anybody wants to shag him. What has happened to the Latin lover? Is southern Europe suffering an existential crisis?

"We hope that Italy is still a romantic nation," says a spokesman from the Italian Embassy. "Promiscuity and romance are different things. In Italy, family values are still considered important: in fact, statistics show that the rate of divorce and the percentage of kids born out of wedlock are still far below other European countries. So we are not surprised to discover that we rank so low regarding sexual promiscuity."

Oh yeah? Well that's probably because you never had your bird nicked by a diminutive ponce on a moped, mate. Isn't promiscuity the whole point of southern Europe? From the catwalks of Milan to a leery grope from a gondolier, isn't getting some what a visit to Italy is meant to be all about? Aren't women going to be cancelling their holidays in disgust?

"No," says Alessandra from the Italian state tourist board, sounding, it must be said, a little put out. "We have lots of inquiries about honeymoons. Or people who want to go somewhere to pop the question. Italy is more about romantic love. Rather than a place to...have fun."

But, damn it, what about the masters of seduction? What about the Latin lover? Has he never been real? "Italian men have this idea of being Latin men, and handsome and well-dressed," concedes Alessandra. "But Italy is not a place for sexual tourism." Not even for women? "No."

Hmmm. A century ago the budding Fascist Filippo Marinetti evidently felt differently. Woman is a "half-tamed beast who lovingly dreams of betraying her adored male" he wrote in his book, Come si seducono le donne (How to seduce women), in which he attempted to stir up nationalist pride by reminding Italians that they were the best and most seductive lovers on the planet. "What does a man need to seduce women?" wrote the Italian futurist. "He should have all the qualities of an Italian futurist!"

"Perhaps British women have the wrong idea," says one Italian diplomat, whom I am forbidden to name. "There is this myth among Italian youngsters that northern European women are . . . well, that they can approach them and . . . you see? They wouldn't speak to Italian women in the way they speak to British women. Never. Not at all."

The research from Bradley University seems to support this thesis. "Historically we have repressed women's short-term mating," says Schmitt, "and there are all sorts of double standards out there where men's short-term mating was sort of acceptable but women's wasn't." In Italy, it would appear, it still isn't. Hence those very low rates of divorce, and of children born out of wedlock (both around 20 per cent, compared with well over 40 per cent in the UK).

Nations scoring highly on his table, says Schmitt, tend to do so only because the women increasingly behave like the men. So the real story here isn't the demise of the male Latin lover, it's the rise of the Accommodating British Female. And Italian men have known about them for years.

Original report here





THE NEWS

Deer 'comes back to life' to attack Missouri hunter: "A hunter got the shock of his life when the deer he thought he'd shot dead took revenge, charged him and slicing his head open with his antlers. London's Metro newspaper reports the large deer "came back to life", knocked the Missouri hunter over and attacked him until he fired twice again, really killing it. "Goodman described the attack as '15 seconds of hell,' which perhaps suggests a slight lack of empathy with the deer's feelings on the matter," the newspaper's website reports."


Endangered truffles set to be reared in test tubes: "French scientists will try to create black truffles in test tubes in an attempt to revive an increasingly endangered industry. The French region of CorrŠze is to sign an accord with key organisations in the industry to unlock the secrets of the Perigourd truffle. Known to connoisseurs as "black diamonds", the truffles, which are usually found growing on the roots of trees, can sell for up to $1600 a kilo. France produced 1,000 tonnes of Perigourd truffles a year at the start of the last century, but production has fallen to 40-50 tonnes a year. In the three-year project, scientists will culture cloned truffles with baby trees in test tubes. Once established, tree and truffle will be planted and allowed to mature naturally. The researchers hope to establish which aspects of the environment are linked to truffle growth."




Snake caught up in printer queue: "Snakes often turn up in strange places, but this brown tree snake has decided to join the digital age.It has set up home in a printer of Lismore couple Denis and Marie Matthews.Marie is the publicity officer for the Friends of the Lismore Rainforest Botanic Gardens and one of her jobs is to produce the group's monthly newsletter.So when Brian, who is the group's secretary, went to print off the envelopes for the newsletter he couldn't get anything out of the printer.That's when he found the metre long reptile curled up comfortably in the printer and causing a paper jam. Denis managed to shift the reluctant snake with the help of a long pointer, but only after attempts to coach it out through the back of the printer failed.``When I used a long pointer to encourage the snake to move, it reluctantly came out through the front, under the monitor screen and round the back of the computer case,'' he said.But that isn't the end of the story.The snake was still there the next day and Denis suspects it is still in the computer room as he frequently finds small objects knocked from shelves.Luckily for Denis the snake doesn't seem to be typical of the species.The nocturnal brown tree snake is often referred to as the night tiger and is usually very aggressive when confronted.It is venomous, but thanks to the fangs being at the rear of the snake's mouth and also that the fangs are grooved rather than hollow, it is generally regarded as of little danger to adults, although it could kill a child. 


Eurocrats drink poisoned coffee: "The coffee served in the private offices of European Commissioners tasted decidedly odd, even though the espresso machines cost more than 6,000 euros each. The metallic tang was too much for one eurocrat, who sent samples from his machine back to his native Austria for testing - only to receive results suggesting that the European Union's most senior figures were being slowly poisoned. Now the Commission's entire collection of elegant Cimbali coffee-makers, together worth 120,000 euros, have been mothballed while the Italian company - which disputes the findings - carries out its own analysis. The tests commissioned in Austria by Alexander Just, an archivist with a background in biology, suggested that in every cup that he tested he found up to 175 times the recommended intake of nickel and doses of lead that were 16 per cent above the level considered safe."



And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 2:03 PM

 


He finally made it!






THE NEWS

German soldiers deemed 'too fat to fight': "First they were accused of not wanting to fight. Then they were blamed for failing in their main mission to train the Afghan police. Now Germany's battered military reputation has received a further humiliating blow. According to official reports the 3,500 troops in northern Afghanistan drink too much and are too fat to fight. A German parliamentary report has revealed that in 2007 German forces in Afghanistan consumed about 1.7 million pints of beer and 90,000 bottles of wine. During the first six months of this year 896,000 pints of beer were shipped to German forces in Afghanistan. British and US bases in the country enforce a strict ban on alcohol. The physical condition of the soldiers was already in question after a German armed forces report found that 40 per cent of its soldiers aged 18-29 were overweight, compared to 35 per cent of the civilian population of the same age."


Hardened criminals allowed to soften up: "Even criminals have a right to aftershave and hand cream, a German court has ruled, approving the appeal of a male inmate against gender discrimination. The Federal Constitutional Court said the plaintiff was right in challenging a prison policy which allowed only female inmates to spend _ 25 ($50) of their own money on cosmetic and skin care products each month. "Although the interest in cosmetics may be more widespread or frequently stronger among women than among men, it is not a biologically determined interest among women,'' the court ruled. "Members of one sex cannot be denied their wellness choices simply because they are more typically found among the opposite sex.'' It said the current practice of only allowing women to purchase beauty products amounted to a violation of the protection against sex discrimination under Germany's Basic Law. The plaintiff's lawyer, Kai Zimmermann, said his client had fought through lower courts to Germany's top tribunal in the southwestern city of Karlsruhe for "the right to use aftershave, moisturiser and the like''.




An old head on young shoulders: "When it comes to talking to girls, some guys have got it and others, frankly, need all the help they can get. And that help is on the way in a book titled How To Talk To Girls. What distinguishes this very fresh approach to an age-old dilemma for men is ... it's written by a nine-year-old boy. Alec Greven [above] admits he's "too young for girls" but has compiled a handy manual based on his observations of girls and boys interacting in the school playground. The book has now been published by HarperCollins and has hit stores in the US. The compact Casanova from Colorado wrote the book when he was eight as part of creative writing in third grade, Colorado news network 9News reported. But his teacher and principal suggested it be published. "Alec's advice isn't from personal experience," 9News said. "He says he's only had one crush on a girl in his entire life and that was all the way back in preschool. He says his advice comes from observation." "You want the girl to notice you," he writes. "But you don't want to draw too much attention to yourself or she will think you are a crazy madman who doesn't even know where his brain is." He says it is important not to be a show-off. But it is good to be the smartest boy in the class, because "girls will be prowling at your feet"."


Another foolish video: "An Adelaide driver faces police charges after a video of him doing a burnout in a company ute was posted on the YouTube website. After receiving a tip-off, police tracked down the motorist because the name and phone number of an auto parts company was emblazoned on the driver's door and clearly shown in the clip. Traffic Enforcement Section officers visited the business on Friday, and after interviewing a middle-aged man, charged him with "misuse of a motor vehicle due to a sustained tail spin". The utility was also immediately seized and impounded under the State Government's tough hoon driver laws. The clip showed the vehicle giving off a blinding cloud of smoke while swerving across double yellow lines near a sharp corner of a narrow Hills road. Police Minister Michael Wright yesterday said that the driver's "alleged behaviour was idiotic and totally unacceptable". Mr Wright said that the introduction of the hoon driving laws in 2005 had resulted in more than 3000 drivers having their cars impounded or clamped. "My message to those who choose to drive like idiots is not only do you risk having your car impounded or clamped for up to 90 days, but you could also have your car seized and sold, with all profits going to the Victims of Crime Fund," he said."




And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 6:17 PM

 


Universal Grade Change Form

To: (professor/teacher/instructor)________________________
From:_____________________

I think my grade in your course,_________________, should be changed from___to___for the following reasons:
____The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did.
____The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did.
____This course will lower my GPA and I won't get into:
__Med School __Dental School __Chiropractic School
__Acupuncture school __Grad School __Mickey Mouse Club
____I have to get an A in this course to balance the F in ___________.
____I'll lose my scholarship.
____I'm on a varsity sports team and my coach couldn't find a copy of your exam.
____I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used did not cover the material asked for on the exam.
____I studied the basic principles but the exam wanted every little fact.
____I studied the facts and definitions but the exam asked about general principles.
____I understood the material; I just couldn't do the problems.
____I can work the problems, but your exam expected understanding.
____You are prejudiced against:
__Males __Females __Protestants __Chicanos
__Jews __Catholics __Muslims __People
__Blacks __Whites __Minorities __Jocks
__Students __Young people __Old people
____If I flunk out of school my father will disinherit me or at least cut my allowance.
____I was unable to do well in this course because of the following:
__mono __acute alcoholism __drug addiction
__VD __broken finger __pregnancy __fatherhood
__I have allergic reaction to brain work __I am intellectually challenged.
____You told us to be creative but you didn't tell us exactly how you wanted that done.
____I was creative and you said I was just shooting the bull.
____The lectures were:
__too detailed to pick out important points
__not explained in sufficient detail
__too boring
__all jokes and no material
__too serious--not enough entertainment to keep me awake.
____All my other profs have agreed to raise my grades.
____I don't have a reason; I just want a higher grade.
____This course was:
__too early, I was not awake.
__too late, I was tired.
__at lunchtime, I was hungry.
____My (dog, cat, gerbil) (ate, wet on, threw up on) my (book, notes, term paper) for this course.





THE NEWS

St. Louis: Car thieves meet up the hard way: "The outcome may leave you asking, "What are the chances?" Two men trying to escape from police drive the wrong way on Interstate 70 and collide head-on with another car. It turns-out both vehicles were stolen. Police say the men that led them on the chase are brothers, Anthony, 23, and Darrell, 22, Thomas, of Hazelwood. Investigators say a St. Charles County Sheriff Deputy was on his way to the St. Louis Jail Saturday night when he spotted a stolen vehicle on West Florissant Avenue. When he tried to pull it over, police say the suspects rammed the patrol car and fired several shots. The deputy was not hit and has minor injuries from the incident. Trying to flee police, the men started driving the wrong-way on I-70 between Union and Riverview. The stolen car they hit head-on had four passengers between the ages of 15 and 18. The four are at a local hospital in various conditions from serious to critical. Police are not releasing their names. The Thomas brothers died at the scene. Two stolen vehicles, one crash, two dead, five injured. Police say they found the gun that was used to shoot at the deputy."




Ralph magazine wants its plastic boobs back: "A men's magazine says 130,000 inflatable breasts intended as a free gift for its January issue have gone missing en route to Australia. A spokeswman for Ralph magazine said the container carrying $200,000 worth of plastic breasts left docks in Beijing two weeks ago but turned up empty in Sydney this week. The magazine has put out an alert to shipping authorities but if the breasts didn't turn up in the next 48 hours it would be too late for the next issue, she said. Ralph editor Santi Pintado urged anyone with information to contact the magazine. "Unless Somali pirates have stolen them its difficult to explain where they are," Pintado said. "If anyone finds any washed up on a beach, please let us know."


China: Man with no arms caught driving: "Police were amazed at their discovery during a routine check of vehicles on the road. Zing Shen, 42, was steering the vehicle with his feet and said he had been doing so for years. It was reported that he was stunned when police officers issued him with a public safety summons. The man told traffic police that ever since he lost his arms in an industrial accident several years ago, he had used his feet to steer his vehicle without difficulty. He has no arms from the elbows down. His car was an automatic so he did not have to concern himself with changing gear. A police spokesman in Beijing said: "The man said that he was a very safe driver and felt he was as good as anyone else on the road, despite his disability. "He had an automatic so did not need to worry about changing gears and said he had put a lot of practice into learning to control the steering wheel with his legs. "He said he was actually even more careful now with driving than he had been before he lost his arms. He was surprised when we arrested him."




14 snakes found in woman's bedroom in Australia's wild North: "Pi would be enough to put phobia sufferers in their grave - 14 carpet pythons slithering around in your bedroom. Northern Territorian Esther Honegger was "horrified" when she found the baby snakes in her Fannie Bay home. "I thought 'Oh my God, how many of them are there?," she said. "I hate snakes and as I walked backwards and forwards I would see another one." "They were everywhere - there was one curled around my bedhead, another around the bottom of the chair, and when I went outside there was one in the hallway, another on the (stair) railing and another on the step. "It was like I was having a nightmare. "Everywhere I looked they just kept popping up." The self-employed driving instructor first noticed the snakes when going to bed on Wednesday evening. She called friends, who she says didn't believe her, and then called the police. She was then told to call the 24-hour snake hotline. Snake catcher Geoff Brouff attended her home on Geoffrey Crescent and managed to wrangle seven of the young snakes. But the next morning he received another frantic call from Ms Honegger who had found five more of the reptiles in her house. Another trip back to her unit on Thursday afternoon found another two. Ms Honegger is now tippy toeing around her home as Mr Brouff said it was likely there could be more hiding around the place. "Carpet snakes lay an average of 25 to 30 eggs so yeah it's definitely possible there will be more," he said. He said the mother was likely living in the roof and the babies came through the air-conditioner vents."



And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 3:11 PM

 


The way we were






THE NEWS

Japs not sexy enough: "Japan's workers are being urged to switch off their laptops, go home early and use what little energy they have left on procreation, in an attempt to avert demographic disaster. The drive to persuade employers that their staff would be better off at home than staying late at the office comes as health experts warn many couples are simply too tired to have sex. A survey of married couples under 50 found that more than a third had not had sex in the previous month. A study by Durex found the average couple has sex 45 times a year, less than half the global average of 103 times. Japan's birth rate of 1.34 is among the lowest in the world and falls well short of the 2.07 children needed to keep the population stable."


German churches find 'chocolate Jesus' tasteless: "GERMANY'S churches have criticised a businessman for selling thousands of Jesus chocolates. Frank Oynhausen set up his "Sweet Lord" chocolate Jesus-making business saying he wanted to restore some traditional religious values to Christmas in Germany. "I started thinking about how I could reintroduce traditional religious values into this commercial world," Mr Oynhausen said . Together with a friend, a local chocolatier, Mr Oynhausen, 54, developed the concept of "Sweet Lord." Mr Oynhausen said thousands of people have put in orders for the figures wrapped in gold foil. But the German Protestant Church criticised the idea as "tasteless" and the Roman Catholic Church was not amused. "It is terrible that Jesus is being wrapped up in gold foil and sold along with chocolate bunnies, edible penguins and lollipops," said Aegidius Engel, a spokesman for the archbishopric of nearby Paderborn."


Never argue with a woman: "A man who stepped out of a speeding car after arguing with a woman has ended up in intensive care in a Brisbane hopital. Police say the man stepped out of the car which was travelling at 100km/h. The 24-year-old was the front seat passenger of a car travelling on Brisbane's Gateway Motorway, at Bald Hills, when he had an argument with a woman in the car and got out. The man suffered a fractured skull, spinal injuries and other fractures and is in a serious but stable condition in Royal Brisbane Hospital."


Drug-smeared boobs knock out robbed men: "UGANDA'S police warned male bar-goers to keep their noses clean after a probe found a gang of robbers had been using women with chloroform smeared on their chests to knock their victims unconscious. "They apply this chemical to their chest. We have found victims in an unconscious state," Criminal Investigations Directorate (CID) spokesman Fred Enanga said. "You find the person stripped totally naked and everything is taken from him," he said. "And the victim doesn't remember anything. He just remembers being in the act of romancing." Mr Enanga, who explained that several types of heavy sedatives had been used, said he first came across the practice last year when an apprehended thief named Juliana Mukasa made a clean breast of the matter. "She is a very dangerous lady," he said. While early investigations suggest that the gang may consist of dozens of members, the source of the sedatives remains unknown."




And don't forget to catch up with all the Strange Justice before you go.


posted by bussorah at 3:37 PM